I know that in your country, it's a big deal right now
that Prince Phillip has passed away.
And I believe you performed
for Prince Phillip once, didn't you?
Yes, I did actually perform.
I did the Royal Variety Performance.
I don't know who was booking that event
or what they were anticipating.
I do remember making some jokes that were, you know, saucy
as you might imagine
and subsequently mining that territory
in a way that scarcely seems appropriate while,
it's curious here 'cause some people
is obviously deeply in mourning
but also the BBC received
the highest number of complaints ever
because the coverage was so expansive of the funeral
and the sort of general mourning around Prince Phillip.
It's interesting isn't it
to consider what the future of the monarchy might be
in light of the, you know, the senior generation
presumably reaching their mortal conclusions.
Look for me, Conan,
you've got to be kind of cautious like this
because even though this is primarily broadcast in America
and very few people watch it there.
If on the internet
(Conan laughing)
If on the internet, I was to say something insensitive
about a recently deceased Royal,
I know what it's like to be dragged into that quagmire.
So I will say like it's an interesting
and transitional time for all of us
and the death of any person is a very, very sad event
but kind of it's, I suppose it's revealing.
It's revealing that this is increasingly, I suppose,
a place, a world of cultural division
where the likes of you and I Conan
can surely bring about union in our own ways,
though, for Caucasians we may be at the opposite end
of the melatonin scale
we share more surely than divides us.
I think we are very similar. Yes.
You have a beautiful olive skin, a dark piercing eyes.
Thank you.
You are, as I said before, an untamed panther.
I am very pale.
Many people think that I'm ill
and I have very little to recommend me in the central realm
but I still think that you and I are very much alike.
We're both questing comedians looking for truth.
Don't you think?
I see you as a powerful lord of mischief and misrule,
a mercurially minded man
able to skip between subjects and access realms that are,
it takes a lot to,
like, what is comedy really?
Other than the acknowledgement
that this whole thing is a divine play.
The whole thing is silly.
That we take ourselves seriously,
we take the world seriously and sooner or later
someone has to point out
that this whole thing is absolute nonsense.
It's madness, it's madness.
And that's why you are being interviewed
on what's still a nationally broadcast television show
in the American empire, the richest country,
and the most powerful country in the world.
And you are lying in bed
wearing what appears to be a free robe
that you got in first class on an airplane.
(both laughing)
The nerve! I've made a personal vow
never to re-wear any of those first class pajamas.
I leave them there on the plane.
I wear once and I move along.
It's the only area of my promiscuity
that I've allowed to remain
is with first-class pajamas.
(Conan laughing)
Elsewhere I am monogamous and stoic,
sometimes almost celibate man
living in honor and integrity.
Here, yes I may wield a crystal wand.
What is that?
Why do you have a crystal wand?
Well, who doesn't have a crystal wand
about their person in this day and age?
These are challenging times.
You leave your house without crystal wand
you're in jeopardy my man.
Okay.
Boop, boop.
(Conan laughing)
Let me, I only use it for magic.
It's a gift actually from the great Danny Harrison
son of the great former Beatle, George Harrison.
Wonderful man.
Yes I love Danny.
He's a good man.
A very good man.
He's a beautiful person.
Do you think that there's a visual subtext to this?
That's all I would say.
All I'm gonna say as I think candle maybe,
I see nothing sexual about it at all.
That's right.
It's just a crystal tip wand of magic and love.
And if you can think of another context for that,
then it's your problem.
Exactly. Then you've got a dirty, dirty mind.