• The internet hasn’t just improved our communication and given us far more entertainment,
it’s also given us the ability to buy some really strange stuff.
Have you ever had a delivery and wondered why you bought it?
Would you spend your hard-earned cash on any of these?
Here’s the fifteen weirdest things you can buy online
15 - Omnipresenz • Like a computer game brought to life,
this service allows you to send a real-life avatar anywhere you need them, with a camera
stuck to their head so you can live stream and see what’s going on.
• They also offer a range of VR experience which seems to involve a lot of hugging, surely
defeating the whole point of virtual reality.
No touching!
14 – Rent-a-goat • If you’re not ready for the commitment
of really owning a goat but you’d like to dip your toe in the water, then rent-a-goat
is for you.
• The company appeared on American investment show, Shark Tank, looking for a $150,000 investment.
• The goats are actually excellent land clearers and can clear about an acre a day,
at a lower cost and impact than by machine.
So, it’s weird, but it makes a lot of sense.
13 – Invisible boyfriend • For $25 a month, you can get all the social
benefits of having a boyfriend, such as avoiding your grandma trying to set you up with random
men.
But the great part is you don’t need to deal with the actual hassle of a real male
in your life.
• You get voicemails, texts, photos and a regular excuse to get out of social events
and sit in your pjs, guilt free.
12 – Glitter bomb an enemy • In a billion years, when mankind is long
gone, the only creation left behind will be glitter; you can never get rid of it.
So, if you truly hate someone, why not go online and have a massive package of glitter
delivered anonymously to their door.
Alternatively, you can just have a message sent to them on a giant cardboard penis.
11 – Test your website • Having a great website is vital for many
businesses but how can you tell if the one you have is really easy to use for everyone?
• Well thankfully there are a number of online services that will perform the ultimate
field test.
The-User-Is-My-Mom.com gets an mom with minimal tech knowledge to explore your site and see
if it makes sense to them.
If you have a younger demographic, you might want to think about their other service; The-User-Is-Drunk.com
because booze and browsing don’t always mix.
10 – Meowlingual translator • A novelty cat translator might be a fun
gift, but at $169, this device is really claiming it can understand the mysterious language
of cats.
• It’s programmed to recognise around 200 different miaows as well as explaining
the meaning behind certain movements and 6 facial expressions.
Apparently there’s also a health check option but if you trust it, you may want to get your
own well-being look at.
9- Neuticles • Planet Dolan believe in equality so one
for the dog lovers now.
If you have already given your dog the gift of chopping off his balls, but you don’t
want him to feel like he’s less of a canine, then why not simply replace the missing testicles
with neuticles?
• The best you can get are the UltraPluses which give your pup the most realistic, soft,
natural implant, for just $1200. 8 – Owl Pellets
• For those of you who don’t have a pet but would like the sense of living creatures
around your house, why not buy this set of five owl pellets.
• They are the real balls of feather, spit and bone that an actual, living owl vomited
up.
Fortunately, owls have no sense of entrepreneurship and leave these little treasures just lying
around for a helpful company to package and deliver to your home.
7 – Own a star • There are around ten trillion galaxies
in the universe, each containing hundreds of billions of stars.
This means there are more than enough for each human to have their own burning ball
of gas.
• There are a number of star-registration services that let you name your own star and
receive a certificate.
If you’re in a real rush, like your rocket is about to leave, they can email you the
certificate and post the original later.
6 – Hologram city • It’s hard to decide which piece of clothing
is the weirdest from this Los Angeles fashion company.
But, if you force us, it has to be the lace shirt and shorts combination in a selection
in pastel shades.
It manages to be both very smart and inappropriate for every situation, all at the same time.
5 – Hug Me Jacket • The world can get pretty lonely, especially
when it’s cold and grey out there.
So Chinese designer Si Chan decided to make a jacket that gave you the reassuring warmth
of a hug.
• There’s a zip up the front but you cover this with 5 pairs of clasped hands.
4 – Vintage Chimps • Art is subjective so not everyone is going
to like the same things.
This piece is supposedly made in the 1980s and some lucky home must surely want a hand-made
sculpture of a monkey doctor delivering a monkey baby from a screaming mother.
• You can literally buy it right now on ebay for $300.
3 – EMP generator • If you’ve ever seen a movie about nuclear
weapons, you’ll know that besides the devastating explosion, they create an electromagnetic
pulse that knocks out all electronics.
• But you don’t need a nuke to create one, you can buy them from shady Chinese manufacturers.
• This EMP generator cost $150 and can fit inside a fake phone of cigarette packet and
we’re pretty sure it can only be used illegally, unless you’re attacked by a robot.
2 – 55 gallons of lube • If you’ve ever wondered if you’re
getting laid enough, you should know that on Amazon, you can buy a 55-gallon barrel
of lube – that’s 208 litres in metric.
• It will set you back almost $1500 but that is a small price to pay for a lifetime
of slippery fun.
• There are a number of brilliant reviews but our favourite contains the line:
“the driver accidentally spilled it into my driveway.
Any amount of cars can now fit into the garage.”
1 – Bacon Alarm Clock • There sadly has been no scientific research
on the best possible way to wake up but surely the smell of bacon cooking must be up there.
Well, with the bacon alarm clock, you lay out your rashers the night before, set the
alarm and then the halogen bulbs will start cooking 10 minutes before you’re due to
wake up.
• It’s made of wood so, there’s the added thrill of maybe burning to death before
you open your eyes.