Yo, I messed up. I messed up big time. I messed up so many times in my 10 years relationship
with Oliver that I have lost count. And you know what?
We needed it. I needed it. He needed it. 10 years later we are still doing it. And it
is better than ever before. Not easier, but better and like a trillion times more conscious.
Today I will tell you our 10 unusual secrets to a healthy, fullfilling & conscious relationship.
One of the fundamental things to understand is that every single relationship serves a
higher purpose whether your are aware of it or not.. and no, babe.. the purpose is not
to fill a gap or end your loneliness. The true purpose of a relationship is your own
personal self-exploration and growth.
You discover yourselves through relating & creating with another being. And this honey.. is the
true reason for your existence here on this planet. To experience yourself in all different
aspects and to grow as a soul.
Relationships – especially long-term relationships - hold amazing opportunities for growth, self
expression and healing. But this of course assumes that a relationship is conscious.
Let us look into the next point to see how you can make your relationship more conscious
The more you share of who you truly are with your partner the more powerful your relationship
will become.
Now don’t get me wrong here.. I don’t want to sugarcoat anything..speaking your
truth can be fucking painful and challenging but if there is one thing that will deepen
the connection with your partner and accelerate your own growth it is truth.
And babe .. I am not talking about sharing the obvious stuff, I am talking about the
tough stuff ..like...sharing with your partner when you felt attraction to another person,
when you lied, when you feel unsatisfied in bed or when you messed up big time.
Speak your truth with courage and speak it with love. Speak it even when your voice shivers.
Let your partner look into the depth of your soul. You are doing this ultimately for both of you
So talk with you partner. Talk, talk and then talk even more. Where two people are constantly
communicating, they are expressing themselves and discovering themselves through what they
express.
And babe don’t think I am a saint.. I’ve messed this up many times in my life. I have
lied and I have not spoken my truth and you know what it always ended in a big mess. My
biggest lesson learnt is: Truth is no one to mess with because truth is relentless.
It will never leave you alone so you better take the first step.
The deeper your relationship goes the more stuff will come up for you and your partner..
Especially wounds from your childhood..
Being ready to heal your wounded inner child and working on a better version of yourself
is crucial if you want to heal or empower your relationship. You really have to do this
work. I can’t stress that enough. Your wounded inner child wants to be seen and needs love.
I encourage you to start with this exercise. In the video I ll also explain more about
the wounded inner child. you can also find the link under the video
I also recommend the book “Healing the Inner Child” from Thich Nath Than. The link is
also under the video.
yo I really don’t want to destroy any puppy love fantasy world but no matter how bright
everything looks in the beginning of a relationship rest assured that the challenges will come..
and they have to come if you want a fulfilling relationship. So don’t fight them but rather
learn how to deal with them.
Remember my first point where I mentioned that personal growth is fulfillfing? Well,
If growth is fulfilling and the true driving force for your existence then you must welcome
challenges. Growth can only happen through challenges. So your partner will have to challenge
you and you will have to challenge your partner.
I personally think that the challenges in my life are gifts from my higher self to help
me get my lazy butt out of my comfort zone.
there will be days, where the challenges feel
overwhelming and staying isn’t the easiest choice but as long as you love your partner,
he loves you and both of you are dedicated to growth you can rise above the challenges
and you will come out of this even stronger than before.
Seriously babe.. if you want to make your relationship work you will have to learn the
art of forgiveness. Your partner will hurt you. You will hurt your partner. It happens
and it is very human.
Forgiveness is the conscious decision of letting go of the past and focusing on the present.
The great Mahatma Gandhi once said that forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Forgiving
someone is not an entirely altruistic act - it actually is something you're doing for
both of you.
mytinysecrets.com is a co-creation of oliver and I. And to me it is one of the most beautiful
and powerful things we have created together.. It is the result of our journey together and
I love creating with this man. People always ask how we are able to work so closely together.
Well I believe that co-creation is fundamental to a fulfilling relationship.
A co-creation can be anything: Mindful, empowering conversations, travelling, meditating together
or doing sports together.
But don’t force it. A co-creation should happen naturally.
Sexual energy is the most powerful energy on this planet. It makes us feel alive, whole
& vibrant. You wouldn’t be here without sexual energy. We all exist only because of
sexual energy.
So this alone should actually be enough to prove the importance of heartfelt sex in your
relationship. Life without sex makes people sick - even more when they are in a relationship.
Meaningful, heartfelt sex empowers you and connects you with your partner. I can’t
stress enough the importance of cultivating a healthy sex life in your relationship.
If you want to learn more about this topic check out my video on “How to have epic sex”.
i also put the link under the video
Quality time with your partner is important. But quality time just with yourself is crucial
as well.
Don’t forget who you are as an individual. Go on a trip just by yourself.. even if it
is only a day trip. Feel your own rhythm. How long do you sip on a cup of tea if you
are just by yourself? What do you think if there is no one around?
To me personally this is a very important point. I never in my 10 year relationship
gave up on anything I truly loved. It is okay to compromise but not to give something up.
So honor your partner and yourself as individuals & give each other space.
gratitude & awareness are game changers in relationships. They elevate a normal relationship
to a conscious and empowering relationship.
Become aware of the little things. Her hair, his eyes, her hands, his actions. Acknowledge
every step of personal growth and affection your partner shows you. Be grateful for their
very existence. Too often we take our partner for granted. And too rarely we say “thank
you for being in my life”.
The great Emma Goldman once said:
“Yes, love is free. It can dwell in no other atmosphere. In freedom it gives itself unreservedly,
abundantly and completely.”
So let’s get this straight once and for all: You don’t own your partner and your
partner doesn’t own you. The other is free. And so are you. In every aspect. Respect that.
Only in freedom are you and your partner able to grow and blossom into your full potential
within the relationship. And remember that, True love doesn’t limit you, it empowers you.
Yo babe, I hope this video was of help to you. Feel free to share it with your friends
& family or whoever you think can benefit from it. Don't forget this : Being loved by someone doesn’t take away the
most important task in your life of learning to love yourself.
Peace.. I am out.
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