- Hey guys! It's me, Snooki.
- And me, Joey.
And this is Cooking in the Crib with Snooki
where we eat,
- We drink.
Cheers!
- Wow!
- And learn how to cook.
(screams)
It never really works out,
but I mean, we got wine so it's fine.
- Yes.
- Cheers!
I am here with my boo, Joey.
- Hey, guys!
- We have our wine and we're going to be cooking
some (beep) today.
- Yes.
- Cheers, bitch!
- We have Heather Dombrosky here and she'll be cooking up
something fishy. - Yes!
- Heather! Come on in, girl!
- Hey guys!
- Welcome.
So, this is Heather.
You're going to be cooking something fishy and gross.
- Yes. What are we having today?
- I don't do fish.
- We are -- you don't do fish?
- I don't do fish.
- It's going to be so good you're going to love it.
- I just think of Flounder in the Little Mermaid
and I'm like yuck!
- Oh, my god!
- And Nemo, Dory --
I can't.
- Fish is delicious, though.
- We're going to make Crispy Skin Sea Bass.
- Sounds disgusting. - Oooh!
You don't have a whole fish, do you?
- Oh, yeah!
- Sick!
- [Heather] You guys ready to get dirty?
- [Joey] Is the head on it?
- Oh my god!
- Heather, stop!
- I really don't do this.
- Do you want to gut?
- Oh my god!
- Oh my god, it's Flounder - I eschew.
- It's from the Little Mermaid.
I actually have to do something here?
I thought I was just here to drink wine.
- What is this?
- [Heather] You're going to take the scales off.
- Are we going to get blood on us?
- Maybe.
- I didn't sign up for this.
- I'm scared.
- I think I need another glass of wine for this.
- Should we name them first before we kill them?
- [Heather] What do you want to name them?
- Harry
- And Snurby.
- [Snooki] Harry and Snurby.
- [Heather] Oh my god!
- It looks like a husband -- - Stop!
- And a wife.
- It's actually a --
- It looks like a mom and a baby.
- This is a Snook-fish, actually.
- It's a Snook-fish? - Hm-hmm
- You killed my brother.
- So, what we're going to do first
is you're going to put this in there --
- The poop hole!
I've never in my life.
- You have to be kidding.
- You guys, we're going to push the knife
- Is (beep) going to come out?
In the poop hole.
- Oh my god!
Just do it.
- It might. It's a poop hole.
- I have no words.
- All right. You feel all the guts in there?
(crying out)
Grab it and grab the knife.
- Oh, man. That's cold.
- [Heather] And you're going to bring your angle
a little bit more.
- Oh, God, I hit a rib.
- Okay, so --
- I'm in shock.
(yelling)
What was that?
- I hate this so much!
- Oh, my god!
- I'm so sorry to our audio.
We are (bleep)-ing screaming.
- So, bring this through until you hit that
kind of like hard edge that's right there, okay?
- And what is that --
- So, now you want to pull the guts
from the top of the head.
- [Snooki] Oh my god, I'm a murderer.
- [Heather] Just do it!
- Oh, what is that? - Oh, my god!
[Joey] Are you kidding me? Are you kidding?
- [Heather] Pull this down.
- [Snooki] Oh my god! Little intestines.
- I'm in shock right now. I can't --
- We're murderers. Cheers to that!
- Thank you for allowing us to be murderers.
- You're welcome. And that's for murdering with me.
- This is amazing.
- I'll cut the head off, though.
- I'll be ready for The Purge.
- Now, we're going to descale.
- You shave it?
- [Heather] You gotta take the scales off.
- No, you stick (beep). You've done this before.
- It flies around like toenails.
- [Snooki] Is it really going to fly?
Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!
- Oh, it's going into your wine.
- Oh, my god!
Are you crazy?
It went in my wine, you (beep).
- It's like giving him a little bath.
- It's like a massage. - You're shaving the skin off!
- No, I'm doing his hair.
- You're giving him a facial.
- You're a sick (beep), too.
- Nicole, get in there.
I'll hold your wine.
- There's a fish gut in there.
Can you imagine on another planet
there's fishes like us
and they're killing a human.
- Stop.
We still have to cut his head off.
- Oh, my god.
- So, now that the scales are off.
- Fine, oh my god!
- And it's gutted.
- Aaagh! - I can't do this!
- Now we're going to fillet it.
- Calm down.
Oh, my god!
- [Heather] May I?
- Should I?
- Could I?
- So, you're going to put your hand here
and you want to make a nice --
like a quick little thing
and then go up that way.
- Oh, God, that hurts so bad I feel.
- [Heather] If you're comfortable doing it the way
that you know how to do it, then go for it.
- I am.
- I don't know how to do it.
- I mean, it stabs.
- [Heather] So, while you're doing that I'm going to heat up
some of the grapeseed oil.
- I'm a fish but I left a little flair on it
cause it looks cute.
- Oh, my god. Put this down.
- Oh, my god, it looks like a little mohawk.
- So now we're being funny about it.
So what do you do with this?
Does Joey have to cut it a little bit --
oh my god, it feels like skin.
It feels like fat.
Like if you get lipo.
- Okay. So, yeah, we're going to put it skin side down
and we're going to hold that for four minutes.
And you'll see it start to become opaque and that's when
you know it's starting to cook through.
- Should we chop the head off while you're doing that?
- Yeah, go for it.
- But we don't have to, I thought.
- Mm-hmm.
- You do, get the meat cleaver.It's in here.
- I'm only doing this because I want to prep myself for
the zombie apocalypse.
I am Rick Grimes right now.
I'm just doing it.
- Pull the head and just be really careful and you're
going to come down hard, strong, firm and one swoop.
So you sever through that vertebrata.
- [Male Voiceover] You can do it!
(sinister music)
- Kill it!
(screams)
(screams loudly)
- It was like the fisherman on the internet
from like the south.
(screams)
- Oh, my god! No, now you enjoy it.
You're a butcher.
- Look like little eyelashes.
- Oh, my god!
Are you kidding?
- Do I look like a drag queen?
- So, the fish is just finishing as you guys can see.
You've just got that nice, crispy skin.
We're just going to put this aside and we're going
to start on the salad that it's going to lay on, okay?
- Yum!
- Where's the stuff?
Get your (bleep) out of the fridge.
Joey, gosh.
- Come on, Joey. Chop, chop!
- Put that sponge away while you're at it, Joey.
- Well, I was cleaning after our massacre in here.
I have to before the cops get here.
- God! Who are you?
- [Snooki] I want to do it!
- Okay. Just toss it together.
- Wait! I look like a cook, right?
- Not yet.
- So, you're going to toss it and make sure it all good
and ready to go.
- Toss that salad, girl!
- Sick.
Wait -- what does that mean?
Does that mean the butt?
- Joey, what does that mean? - Yeah, right.
- What is it?
- Toss the salad. That means butt, right?
- Google it.
- You know, you taste with your eyes, right?
You want to lay it down very nice.
- [Joey] In the middle.
- You guys have to come to our restaurant.
We charge a lot of money.
- Would you like to do the honors?
- Well, yeah, now that it's not an actual fish head.
- So, use your hands and just gently place that
right on top.
- Boom! Oh, my god! - Stop!
Are we chefs?
- Are we rich?
- [Heather] You guys -- tap it!
- [Snooki] So, let's try it. It looks gorgeous.
I personally don't eat fish so you can try it first.
- Okay.
- [Snooki] It doesn't even smell like fish.
- [Heather] So, it's nice and light, too.
- A nice bite.
- Oh, god, you're at a pest.
- Heather!
- [Heather] Joey!
- This is phenomenal.
- Is it delicious?
- Should I try it?
- [Heather] Oh, my god! Yes.
- Should I try it?
This would be a first for me.
YOLO
- Have a small bite.
- Oh, my god!
- You can do it!
- I fell like I'm eating a person.
- You're going to love this.
We are fancy now.
I feel like we're in, oh --
(emotional piano music)
- [Heather] What do you want to name them?
- [Snooki] Harry
- [Joey] And Snurby.
(screaming)
They're like little eyelashes.
- Oh, my god!
Ewe, fish.
[Snooki] I can't!
- What happened?
- I just -- I just thought about him.
- Did it taste good --
- It tastes good.It tasted good.
Mentally, I can't do it.
It tasted good.
- [Joey] I want to try more.
- No, it tasted great.
- [Heather] I want to taste a bite.
- Well, this was delicious. - Yes.
- Thank you so much for coming over.
- Heather Dombrosky.
- Thank you. Guys, thank you so much.
- You actually conquered a fear of mine.
I've never actually put fish in my mouth before.
- I never put guts on my hand before.
- I never chopped off a fish's head before.
- Or stuck a knife in their butt hole.
- Thanks for everything.
- This is amazing so thank you so much for coming.
- Thank you guys.
- Thank you, Heather.
- We had so much fun.
- You are fancy as (beep).
- Make sure you guys follow her. She's amazing.
- Yes. We don't have the link below.
- Give zero forks.
- Yes, make sure you subscribe to our channel.
We're going to do more of this stuff.
Like our video and comment below how dramatic we were
because that was really real.
- So, until next time, see you guys!
- [Joey] Cheers! - [Heather] Cheers!
- I need therapy after that one.