It's been a really uncertain time for everybody, for children and for adults
and it's difficult tolerating uncertainty but that's what we're having to do right now
and learn how to do it and in fact, in doing so, it can really help us to manage anxiety in the long term.
It's normal to feel anxious right now.
Lots of people do feel anxious and that's okay.
There are also some people that are finding it harder than other people
and it's really important to acknowledge that we're not all in the same situation.
There's some children that were very anxious before Lockdown, who had previous anxiety
and actually, for them, not going to school might have been a real relief and they might have really enjoyed it
and going back it's going to be terrifying.
For other children, they've really enjoyed being with their families and they won't want to perhaps go back either.
For other children, their home life might have been very hard, lots of arguments,
even violence and they might be really looking forward to having a bit of refuge at school.
The situations aren't going to be the same.
It's going to be important though, to speak to children about how they're feeling
and to do that, the adult, the parent or the teacher needs to be able to be calm themselves.
So adults have a lot of anxiety as well right now,
and it'll be important just to model that calmness.
Listen and hear what they have to say, don't assume that you know how they feel.
We don't know, they might be feeling lots of things.
Validate their feelings, rather than coming up with answers.
Just validate and hearing, right it sounds like you're feeling really worried right now
and that sounds understandable.
Validate their feelings. We don't have the answers.
It's possible we might go to school and then back into Lockdown and school ...
We don't know, we don't have the answers, you don't need to pretend that you know.
but children might have particular concerns and, with that in mind,
it might be really helpful to try and address some of the facts together,
in a simple clear way.
So one way you could do that is by watching the news together.
It might be that your child is very worried about going back,
and about getting unwell them self or passing on to somebody else.
You could look at the news, look actually you know, what is the rate of infection right now.
If there's any misinformation they have, try and address that really simply and clearly.
At the same time, you don't want children to watch too much news
because that can make anxiety worse,
so limit it but actually addressing the misinformation is helpful.
Limiting reassurance is a hard thing to do,
but we know that giving too much reassurance, actually keeps anxiety going.
It's very tempting because, in the short-term, giving reassurance helps reduce anxiety,
but in the long-term, it doesn't.
So, instead encourage your child to ask questions.
You can give them some reassurance but don't repetitively get into a cycle of giving lots of it.
Instead think about possible strategies.
Ask them 'How did you adapt to Lockdown?'
'How can you use those strategies to adapt now to going back to school?'
Help them to answer their own questions.
Help them to problem-solve,
coming up with lots of solutions and thinking about what would be the best way to solve this problem.
If they have a particular problem or concern,
for example, 'my friend won't want to speak to me, I've not spoken to them for a long time'.
Think about what you could set up to check that out in advance of going back to school.
Could they call a friend and see how, you know, either on Zoom or they could meet up in a park.
Maybe try that out and see what happens.
If there are other strategies that can help as well.
For example, help the child think what do they normally do when they're feeling worried, what strategies help?
Some children find taking long, deep breaths,
counting in, their in-breath for 7 and their out-breath for 11,
can just really slow their breathing and help regulate them a little bit.
Some children still have lots of worries,
and a strategy of deferring worries could be really helpful,
where any worries that come up in the day,
either in their mind or they write them down and they come back to them.
For example, at 4 o'clock I'm going to have a 30-minute worry time.
What we know is that, actually, when they come back to them,
sometimes the worries don't feel so bad anymore,
and sometimes they forget to have that worry time at all.
So it can be a useful strategy.
There is some preparation that would be helpful though, before children go back.
Some children will be out of a routine
and helping them to get back into a bit of a routine,
helping them to wake up early again.
Go to bed at a reasonable time.
Try doing the school run.
Try putting their school uniform on.
Reconnecting with friends again.
Preparing them for what's about to happen.
And it's really helpful as well to have more contact with school, before going back.
This can be done by school and home.
So home can make sure they're looking at newsletters together.
They're making contact with teachers where possible.
They're giving more work into school for feedback from teachers.
Schools might want to get in touch more with families,
particularly families where they know there is anxiety.
Just making that connection, preparing children.
Maybe putting a video on their YouTube channel or whatever forum they use.
Just helping children to start thinking about the return.
It's likely there's going to be smaller classes.
It's likely that children will wash their hands more.
They won't maybe have break times in the same way.
There might be less artwork on the wall.
These are all things to keep children safe,
but preparing children, schools can do that by again posting their videos online or newsletters.
Parents can have those conversations.
And then when children get back to school,
schools can just really help to give children control by talking through those new routines.
Making them fun.
Just think about the amount of reassurance that you're giving, as teachers, to children.
Some is okay,
but actually it's really important to develop their growth mindset by helping them to answer their own questions.
Help other children to answer the questions.
Help them to come up with questions of what might be worrying them,
and think together, brainstorm as much as they can.
It's like building up that tolerance of uncertainty, is like exercising our mind muscles.
It's really good for us but it's not always easy to do at the time,
but just really helping them to just tolerate that experience of having some uncertainty.
There will still be worries that children have and being able to post worries through the day in a box,
and either as a class, or in smaller groups,
it'd be really useful to then come back and have a worry time perhaps near the end of the day,
and think togekther what's worried them
and again, see it might be that those worries don't feel so difficult when they come back to them.
Rewards are important.
Both teachers and parents can help to reward their children for,both going to school,
and managing anxietyk at school.
Finally, it's important just that children really are reminded to look after their own mental health.
Eating healthily, exercising, connecting with friends, doing things they enjoy.
These are really important for all of us, at this time of huge transition.
And also just being encouraged to be kind to each other,
to look after each other. Be kind to oneself.
This is a difficult time, just go easy on yourself.
It's not going to feel okay overnight.
It's going to take time, it's going to be a transition and that's okay.
It's okay if it takes a bit of time to get used to being back at school.