What does it take to write an ad headline
or subject line that is impossible to ignore?
Come along with me as I take you through one
of my favorite copywriting exercises ever.
I'm about to let you look over my shoulder
as I critique six ads on the fly.
What made them great?
What left me wanting more,
and what would make them even more powerful?
Keep watching.
(upbeat music)
Hey, Posse, what's up?
It's Alex, and if you've been following me
on Instagram @CopyPosse,
then you've probably seen my regular Make It Hotter posts
where I find an ad headline or subject line
and put it out to you, my Posse community to, yep,
You guessed it, make it hotter.
Not only is this one of my favorite ways
to practice copywriting,
but it's also, a great way to see
how other copywriters think
which ultimately helps you better understand
why certain things work and why certain things don't.
And the best part of this exercise for me is when I get
to put on my Posse Prof spectacles,
and critique the top-voted submissions.
So, in today's video, I'm gonna take you through one
of my latest additions of Make It Hotter,
and break down my critiques with each ad, point by point.
So, let's get started, but first,
take a look at this post where I asked the Posse community
to make this headline even hotter.
So, this was an ad for the Disney+ app,
and it says, "Disney+ is home
to must-see acclaimed films.
The French Dispatch, The King's Man,
and The Last Duel are now streaming.
Sign up."
Okay, not bad, but I gotta admit
I like the Possefied versions way better.
But before I get to my critique of those submissions,
first, let's critique Disney+'s original copy.
What worked, what was lacking,
and what could have made it even better?
So, the first thing I noticed is
that they're really utilizing the FOMO hook really well here
with Disney+'s home to must-see acclaimed films.
So, if you're a movie buff,
that's definitely gonna grab your attention
because you wanna make sure you're not missing out
on any of those good shows.
And they also dropped a few movie titles
that were recently released during the time
this ad was being run,
which is a smart way to use relevancy and, again, FOMO.
But I gotta say that I was a little bit disappointed
that they don't even call out specific audiences.
Even the movies they name are all different genres.
So, there's really no specificity here.
They're trying to appeal to a general or broad audience.
And everybody knows that if you try to sell to everyone,
you end up selling to no one.
So, I would love to see the Posse get a little bit
more specific in their rewrites.
Disney+'s CTA is "Sign up."
It's nice, it's simple,
which is what you want your CTA to be
but I do think they could have made
that CTA just a little bit more enticing.
So, overall, I would say this ad is okay,
and I'm really excited to see what the Posse thinks.
But first, here's a quick recap
of my three-step formula for writing a hot headline.
So, a hot headline should, one, hook attention, right?
So, start with a concept or idea that really grabs
the reader's attention
either by provoking an emotion like fear, joy, controversy,
FOMO or nostalgia, or a promising desired result
or clear USP or Unique Selling Proposition.
Next, it should open a loop, right?
It should pique curiosity and incentivize
the audience to read further.
And lastly, it should target your audience.
So, it should be really, really clear
who the ad is speaking to.
Alright, so now let's take a look at the Posse submissions
along with my critiques.
So, these six ads were selected for critique
because they received the most amount of likes or votes
from the community on this post.
So, let's go ahead and take a look at the first one.
Alright, so here we have Bobby.
His ad says, "The same magic you've always cherished
with new must-see films released weekly.
Sign up now for Disney+ to stream The French Dispatch,
The King's Man, and The Last Duel."
Overall, awesome job.
I love the opening line,
"The same magic you've always cherished."
So, what's amazing is that you're really speaking
to what Disney's brand voice is all about.
Their brand archetype is the magician,
and those of us who grew up watching Disney,
know and remember how magical those movies were.
I remember the VHS videos.
I'm aging myself now,
but the VHS that came in the plastic containers
and we would watch Cinderella and Aladdin
and all of our favorite Disney shows.
So, I love that you're not only speaking to the brand voice
but you're using nostalgia,
and nostalgia is such a powerful hook.
I get goosebumps just thinking about it,
even though it's a million freaking degrees
in my office right now. (chuckles)
With new must-see films," that's really, really great.
Just by adding the word new,
you're adding in that element of novelty,
which is really, really powerful, but you're still using
the must-see playing up that FOMO angle.
"Released weekly" Again, amazing.
Love the specificity.
Two words add so much more power to this ad.
"Sign up now" right, great CTA,
and then you're using sort of the rest
of the copy that they had
but absolutely love the specificity
of "Sign up now to stream."
So, the only thing I'd maybe add
to make it a little bit more powerful is adding in words
like, "On demand" or "From home,"
or "No VCR required" right,
to really go back to that nostalgia angle,
but overall, fantastic job, Bobby.
You absolutely crushed this one.
Alright, next up, we have Kim,
and her ad says, "Dreams really do come true
when you're watching Disney+.
Enjoy your favorite films and share magical moments
with your friends and loved ones.
Unlock the magic today!"
So, I absolutely love, again,
how you're speaking to the brand voice of Disney,
"Dreams really do come true" right?
Dreams come true, they can happen to you, right,
we think about all of those amazing, amazing Disney movies
that really spoke to this element of magic and dreams.
So, strong brand messaging.
I would love to see a clear USP here.
So, again, adding in specificity,
"Enjoy your favorite films"
well, we know that you watch your films
but can you stream on demand?
Can you watch them any time?
Anything you can really add in
to make the USP even more powerful will be great.
So, "Share magical moments"
love the benefit of connecting with loved ones.
That's huge, right?
At the end of the day, why do good movies matter?
Yes, it's a form of entertainment, and that's always great.
But sometimes I think of the best.
The best thing about movies is how we use them as a way
to connect with those we love.
Really, really beautiful.
And I like your CTA, right,
playing up the magic angle, it's fun.
I would love to see a clear next step though.
So, maybe it could say, "Unlock the magic today.
Sign up to stream now."
Alright, and now, we have this ad from Carol,
and Carol writes, "Is this popcorn I'm smelling?"
With a little popcorn emoji.
"It better be because these new films
just popped at Disney+.
Start your free trial today."
Overall, genius future-pacing hook.
I absolutely love that you're using smell in this ad.
I can absolutely smell the popcorn popping.
It pulls me in.
I love it.
It makes me wanna go watch a movie right now
as I sit right here.
And I love that you said, New films just popped."
It's fun, right, new.
They're new films.
They have probably never been seen before,
or you've never seen them before, great novelty.
I also like the word popped,
it's not something that we hear very often, right?
So, "New films just popped at Disney+.
Start your free trial today" great CTA.
It's enticing.
It's clear.
You're using the word free,
which is an incredibly powerful word in copywriting.
Excellent, excellent job, Carol.
Alright, now we have this one by Israel Antonio.
So, he says, "We don't just talk about Bruno here.
Watch The French Dispatch, The King's Man,
and The Last Duel today in any device,
using our app.
Sign up."
So, this is funny because when I wrote this,
I actually had no idea what that reference was
and I had to Google it.
And that's when I realized
that it has to do with a kid's show called Encanto.
And so, now I know what it means,
but you wanna make sure
that your references are not too specific, right?
So, at the end of the day,
it's not the kids that are reading these ads,
it's their parents, or it's an older demographic like me
who doesn't have kids and has no idea
what the movie Encanto is all about.
But overall, I do love your play on words.
I think it's smart.
It's maybe a little bit too specific.
So, remember a confused mind doesn't buy.
Now, in terms of "In any device using our app"
make sure it's on any device, just grammar.
But I really love your specificity by saying,
"On any device using our app"
I can actually see myself on my iPad, on my phone,
if I'm at the airport waiting for a flight or on my TV.
There's so many different ways
that I can visualize myself using this product.
And it is great visual demonstration
which is hard to do in just copy,
and you did that very, very well.
And then, lastly, your call to action, "Sign up."
How can you make that even stronger, right?
Sign up to watch now.
Sign up for your free trial, right?
Anything like that would make that
just a little bit more powerful,
but overall, excellent, excellent work.
Alright, now here we have an ad written by Jose,
and he says, "With Disney+, witness stories
that journey around the world and into imagination.
Your classic favorites can
now become your child's new favorites."
Great job.
I love the imagery of your hook.
It's so, so powerful. "Journey around the world
and into imagination" I think you might be able
to make it a little less wordy by simply just saying,
"Journey into the world of imagination."
Really, really strong though.
Absolutely love it.
"Your classic favorites can
now become your child's new favorites."
This is beautiful
but it honestly could be a totally separate ad or hook.
So, you wanna be careful
to not keep using different hooks in your ad
when in reality, that could be split up
and tested on a different ad.
I'd rather than have the new hook in this ad,
showcase what is the USP.
What are they getting?
What can they do if they start right now?
What does it actually mean?
So, come down to earth a little bit.
Once you start with a really strong hook
to get attention, start sharing just a little bit more
of the specifics on what they're actually getting
and how they can use this product.
So, instead, share what is it, write the USP,
what to do next, the CTA.
There's no CTA in this ad.
So, I would definitely go ahead and add that.
Great job, Jose.
Alright, and lastly, we have Karilynn.
So, Karilynn writes, "Make dreams come true
in your very own living room.
All your favorites streaming now on Disney+.
Subscribe today."
Beautiful, it's concise.
I love it, you open with a really,
really strong hook, right?
You included the brand slogan where dreams come true.
Beautiful, beautiful.
I also really love your CTA.
Very strong, "Subscribe today."
You might wanna use "Sign up."
only because that's what they use on their site.
And remember, it's really important
to include some sort of consistent language.
So, if you say, "Subscribe on the ad"
and then, "Sign up on the site"
that might create just enough of a disconnect
that causes some confusion.
So, I would simply say, "Sign up."
And then take it one step further like,
"Sign up for your free trial."
I would love to see a little bit more specificity
when you say, "All your favorites,"
like, favorite what?
Even though it's obvious.
Sometimes, we think it's obvious as copywriters,
but it's not all that obvious to someone who maybe,
doesn't use an app like this, right?
So, "All your favorite films on demand, streaming now
on Disney+," or something like that.
Oh, my gosh, everyone did such a great job on this exercise.
Now, if you wanna play along
in the next edition of Make It Hotter,
make sure to follow me on Instagram @CopyPosse.
And if you'd like this video,
and you wanna see more in-depth critiques
like this one from me in the future,
make sure to subscribe below,
and don't forget to hit that Bell to be notified
when my next video goes live.
And, of course, don't forget to grab a copy
of my free Hot Headline Guide,
so you can learn exactly how to write hot headlines and ads
that grab attention and stop scrollers in their tracks.
You can grab that here in just a few seconds
at the end of this video.
Thank you so much for watching.
I'll see you next week with a brand new video,
'til then, I'm Alex, ciao for now.
Alright, guys, if you enjoyed that video,
make sure to check out the next one from me right here.
And you can click right here to get a free gift.
What does it take to write a headline
that is just too captivating to scroll past?
Well, come along with me as I take you through one
of my favorite copywriting exercises ever.
I'm about to let you look over my shoulder
as I critique five headlines on the fly.
What made them great?
What left me wanting more,
and what could make them even more powerful?
Keep watching.