Many people today use the term "the one" when they talk about
the one that they're meant to marry.
And biblically, this concept is true because God is outside of time
and therefore knows everything that's going to happen.
And that includes having the knowledge of who we will actually marry
if we get married.
But the danger I've seen is that many people will use
their feelings or their emotions and will rush into marital decisions
just because they feel like someone is the one.
So when it comes to the topic of finding the one,
despite the fact that God knows who we will actually marry.
There are a lot of steps that we can take to find out who the one is.
and I'm saying this because deciding who you'll marry
is one of the most important decisions that you'll make in your life.
So don't just trust how you feel.
Because our feelings always change.
So here are four steps that every Christian should take to help
them find out if a person is the one Step number one, Create standards.
Second Corinthians Chapter six, verse 14.
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
For what?
Fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness.
And what communion has light with darkness.
In this passage, Paul tells Christians not to be connected to unbelievers.
And please note here that a yoke is a piece of wood
that connects two oxen together.
It's not an egg yolk.
The idea is to make sure that both oxen are of similar strength.
Otherwise, the plow that they pull won't be able to move straight.
you see the Bible tells us that believers should not be connected to unbelievers.
And the reason
why is because the values of a Christian are different than that of an unbeliever.
And that pairing will most likely cause trouble in the future.
so, I suggest if you're curious about finding the one.
Create standards for yourself based on God's Word.
Here we learn that believers should not be connected with unbelievers.
So your potential partner, being a believer, should be a standard for you.
If you're a Christian.
And other standards that you create should assess someone's character.
So if you have someone in mind right now, some questions that I have for
you would be Does this person you're interested in make wise decisions?
Does this person work hard?
Do they love God?
How do you know? How do they treat people?
How do they treat their parents, their superiors and strangers?
Are they loving?
Do they work hard under pressure and stress?
How do they handle conflict?
How well do they communicate with you?
Does this person have a history of putting your needs above their own?
Does this person lead you to sin or do they lead you closer to God?
And can this person take care of you?
And how do you know?
And after I ask those questions
about your potential person, I'd ask questions regarding you.
Like, what do you really want in a life partner?
Forget about the person you're thinking about now.
What characteristics do you value in a person?
Sense of humor.
Someone to praise.
Someone who supports your work.
Someone you can talk to.
And then I challenge you to find out what you've always wanted in a spouse.
And then I'd ask you what you want to do for a career
and where you want to live, and what kind of family you want to have
and what you want to spend your life doing.
And what you value in your life.
So with all of that said, I'd encourage anyone who is considering
getting married to identify what matters to you.
Because if you don't make it a point to figure all of this out,
you might connect yourself to someone who doesn't care about the things
that you care about.
And either you or both of you will make compromises
that will really hurt you later on down the line.
So for Christians, being a believer should be your first standard.
But you need to create other biblical standards that can help
point you to someone who you'd want to marry.
And if you need help creating these standards, follow
step number two, which is to get wisdom.
Proverbs chapter 15, verse 22.
Without counsel, plans go awry.
But in the multitude of counselors, they are established.
In this passage, King Solomon says that if you don't have counsel,
things get messed up.
But if you have a lot of counselors, things get done.
And right now, we're talking about
your potential marriage and foundation of your future family.
So for a plan that big and important, you need counselors
with experience that can speak into that matter.
So if I were you, I would find people who have been happily
married for quite some time and take the time to sit down and talk
with them about marriage and about what makes a successful one.
And you could ask for their suggestions on good standards for a spouse.
You can ask teachers,
your parents, pastors, anyone else that you trust and respect,
or anyone who has the kind of relationship that you would want.
and while you may not agree with everything they say, it would be wise
for you to hear where they're coming from and to learn from their experience.
Step number three Learn about relationships.
Philippians Chapter one verses 9 to 10.
I pray that your love will overflow more and more
and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding.
For I want you to understand what really matters so that you may live
pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ's return.
in this passage, Paul says that he's praying for the Corinthian church
to continue growing in love knowledge and understanding.
And these are good things to grow in.
So I'd encourage you to grow in the knowledge of marriage and relationships.
And one book that I highly suggest is the sacred search by Gary Thomas.
And there's a link in the description below for it.
In his book,
the author really argues that finding someone to marry requires a lot of wisdom.
And he breaks down everything someone should be looking for in a life partner.
So when it comes to your ambitions for marriage,
I would try to encourage you to do as much research as you can on the topic,
because one wildcard that you need to take into account is your feelings.
The author in the Sacred Search talks a lot about the danger of infatuation
and how we could feel in our heart that we love someone.
But as history has taught us before, like Samson falling for Delilah,
we can allow our hearts to love
or become attached to someone that isn't good for us.
So do your research and be cautious when choosing to connect your life
to someone else's And step number four, stay in prayer.
Ephesians chapter six, verse 18,
Praying the Spirit at all times and on every occasion.
Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.
In this passage, Paul commands the Church of Ephesus to always pray no matter what,
and to pay attention and to be persistent in their prayers for other Christians.
So to close, please note that relationships are messy.
In a relationship, there's two people
with all their sin mistakes, failures, weaknesses and struggles.
And to navigate through all of that requires a lot of strength, wisdom,
and help from God.
So yeah, relationships can be fun with cute dates and all,
but at the end of the day, there's life to live, bills to pay, responsibilities
to manage, people to take care of, and goals that we're all trying to reach.
And in marriage, you need more than just a cute face.
You need someone who can truly support you.
And will love you the way Jesus loves.
So all that to say you need to stay in constant connection
with God through prayer and His Word so that He can give you insight,
wisdom, guidance and protection regarding your specific situation.
okay, so whether you want to figure out if someone is the one
or if you're just curious on how to know, please remember these four steps.
Step number one, create standards.
Step number two, get wisdom.
Step number three, learn about relationships.
And step number four, stay in prayer as a final encouragement.
Remember? Yes.
God knows who you're going to marry,
but we don't have the luxury of knowing everything like God does.
So don't make the big decision of deciding who to marry based on how you feel.
Talk to people.
Learn about what a godly marriage should look like and stay close to God.
Also, don't make finding the one the main thing in your life.
The commandments are to love God with all your heart,
soul, mind and strength and to seek first the kingdom of Heaven.
So bow your life to God.
Keep your love life in prayer and always remember Jesus loves you.