YES, YOU NASTY PEOPLE, SHE IS MY FIRST WIFE.
♪
>> ALL RIGHT.
HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYONE.
IT’S ALMOST THE WEEKEND, WHICH
MEANS HEADS TO HIS LOCAL
GOODWILL AND DIG THROUGH A FRESH
CONTAINER OF RECENTLY TO LAST
HOBO CLOSE.
AND KAT TRIED TO LEAVE EARLY TODAY TO GO TOO HAPPY HOUR.
TODAY TO GO TOO HAPPY HOUR.
>> YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES.
COULDN’T WAIT A FEW HOURS FOR IT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MY HEALTH,
BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MY HEALTH,
I WILL BE WORKING OUT.
A DISGUSTING PERSON WOULD SAY HE
GIVES GOOD HEAD, BUT I’M NOT
THAT KIND OF PERSON.
THAT WAS A FUN LITTLE ROLLER
COASTER REACTION.
STOP THAT AND THEN APPROVAL.
WHICH IS WHERE YOU WANT TO LAND.
>> LET’S DO THAT JOKE AGAIN.
DO NOT EDIT THAT OUT.
SO JOE’S APPROVAL RATINGS
DROPPED TO 38 PERCENT ACCORDING TO THE LATEST FULL, THAT
TO THE LATEST FULL, THAT
HONEYMOON DID FASTER THAN OMAR O
DID HER BROTHERS.
>> JUST LOOK AT THE KEY
VARIABLES FOR A FOREIGN HAS BEEN
A DISASTER.
THEY WERE DOING DONUTS ON SOCCER
FIELD.
IS VICE PRESIDENT JOE WENT TO
FUNERALS AS PRESIDENT HE CAUSES
THEM.
IT’S AMAZING THIS JOKER HAS BEEN
IN POLITICS FOREVER IN THE
MOMENT HE’S PUT IN CHARGE HE I
WOULD NOT TRUST HIM WITH THE
KEYS TO A RASCALS SCOOTER.
I THINK THAT’S ONE OF OUR
SPONSORS.
INFLATION HITS AMERICAN
HOUSEHOLDS FOR AN EXTRA $175 A
MONTH WHICH IS WHAT HUNTER PAYS A MISUSE FOR A HAPPY ENDING.
A MISUSE FOR A HAPPY ENDING.
GAS PRICES ARE HIGHER THAN KAT.
AND WORK RHYTHMICALLY, BUT THEY
DIDN’T HAVE TO BEAR THAT’S
ANOTHER TAX TARGETING THE
WORKING STIFF, THE PEOPLE THEY
HAVE TO DRIVE TO PAY THEIR BILLS
INSTEAD OF CELL ARTS AND CRAFTS
FOR 100 MILLION.
THE GUY THAT SAYS THE BOOK
STARTS WITH ME SAYS IT’S NOT HIS FAULT THAT THE BUCK IS WORTH A
FAULT THAT THE BUCK IS WORTH A
LOT LESS THAN IT WAS A YEAR AGO.
CHICAGO, OR PEOPLE ARE GETTING
THEIR SHOTS FROM A BLOCK THEN A
SYRINGE.
IT’S CAPABLE OF PASSING IS GAS
FROM THE PURÉED FESTIVALS BRADY
HAS THE LUMP.
ALSO, THERE IS MORE COVID DOES
UNDER JOE AND JUST TEN MONTHS
WITH THREE VACCINES.
INSTEAD OF ALL OF LAST YEAR.
GOOD LUCK BLAMING IT ON FROM,
BUT OF COURSE THEY WILL.
REMEMBER THAT CONSTANT BODY CAMP
IT SHOWED UP EVERY DAY.
WE BELIEVE ATTRIBUTING EVERY
CASUALTY TO TRUMP EVEN IF THE
COVID VICTIM WAS 600 POUNDS,
NINE -YEAR-OLD AND HAD THE
CROWBAR THROUGH HIS HEAD.
IT, BUT THEY HOPED IT WOULD COST
TRUMP THE ELECTION, BUT IT DID
BIDEN PROMISE TO SHUT THE VIRUS
DOWN FOR THE ONLY THING HE IS
SHUTTING DOWN AS THE EARLYBIRD
BUFFET.
WHEN HE WINS, THE BODY COUNT
DISAPPEARS MUCH LIKE THE CNN
FACT CHECKING DEPARTMENT.
THEY PUT INTO STORAGE ALONG WITH
THE RATINGS IN THE CHRIS CUOMO
CAREER.
WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT ALL OF
THIS, JOE?
>> IT LOOKED.
IT SIMPLE.
ICE HOUSE THE OTHER DAY ON THE
TELEVISION, THE RADIO.
EIGHT TRACK.
IT’S SO SIMPLE.
IF IT’S GOOD, I DID IT.
THE BUCK STOPS HERE, IT’S ME.
IF IT’S BAD, IT’S THE OTHER GUY.
YOU KNOW WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT,
RIGHT?
SO JUST LOOK, IF YOU’VE GOT
COVID, THAT’S HIM.
IF THEY GOT NO COVID, THAT’S
MEAN.
OKAY?
THE BORDER, THAT’S HIM.
CRIME, THAT’S HIM.
NOW WHAT’S ME?
LET ME THINK OF SOME GOOD THINGS
HERE.
RAINDROPS ON ROSES AND WHISKERS
ON KITTENS THAT’S IT, BOTH OF
THOSE, THOSE WE’RE MEAN.
>> AT THE QUINNIPIAC TO MALAISE
SUMMARIZES THE BROODED PULLING
FINDINGS BATTLED ON TRUST,
GATHERED ON LEADERSHIP AND
OVERALL COMPETENCY HE CONTINUES
THE DOWNWARD SIGNED TO A NUMBER
NOT SEEN SINCE THE TOUGH
SCRUTINY OF THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION.
DID YOU NOTICE SOMETHING THERE?
HE SAYS THEY HAVEN’T SEEN
FINDINGS LIKE THIS SINCE THE
TOUGH SCRUTINY OF THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION.
WHICH THE DIFFERENCE HERE?
THEY’RE IS NO TOUGH SCRUTINY OF
THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION AT ALL.
THE PRESS LOOKS AWAY LIKE
THEY’VE BEEN SHOWN EROTIC PHOTOS
OF JOY BEHAR.
EITHER TRUMP WOULD HAVE BEEN THE
GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER IF THEY
TREATED HIM FAIRLY OR JOE BIDEN
WOULD BE THE PRESSED IT IS
MIND-BOGGLING.
WITH BIDEN, ITS PARENTS AT
SCHOOL BOARD MEETINGS THAT ARE
TO BLAMED OR THE UNVACCINATED,
OR FOX NEWS.
JOE WILL BE BLAMING THE GHOST OF
RONALD REAGAN WHO HE TALKS TO
EVERY NIGHT AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
MEANWHILE NO COMPARISONS BETWEEN
JOE AND TRUMP ON ANY VARIABLE.
WHY?
IF YOU SEE THAT, YOU WOULD SEE
THAT JOE DESTROYED BIDEN.
FIRST IMMEDIATE DIDN’T CARE THE
PRESIDENT TRUMP IMPROVE THE
COUNTRY, WHY WOULD THEY?
MOST OF THEM HATE THIS PLACE
ANYWAY BRADY HAD TO GO, HIS
LATE-NIGHT TWEETS GAVE ALL OF
THEM EARLY-MORNING ANXIETY.
EVEN WITH ALL HIS CASH HE STILL
WASN’T ONE OF THEM HE WAS ONE OF
US.
ALSO HE WAS A REPUBLICAN, SO HE
STARTS OFF AS HITLER.
WE’RE ON LIKE THREE HITLER’S NOW
. ONE MORE HITLER AND WE HAVE A
ONE MORE HITLER AND WE HAVE A
BOX SET.
CLAPPING FOR HITLER.
THEY GLADLY HANDED THE COUNTRIES
KEYS TO SOME DODDERING OLD
MENACE WHO GOES TO BED AT 4:00
P.M. BUT DOESN’T SEND MEAN
TWEETS.
THIS HAPPENS ALMOST EVERY TIME A
DEMOCRAT IS IN THE WHITE HOUSE,
IT’S LIKE WE KEEP PUNCHING
OURSELVES IN THE FACE TO SEE IF
IT HURTS AS MUCH AS WE THOUGHT
IT DID FOUR OR EIGHT YEARS AGO.
IT DOES.
AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT UNITY
PLEDGE?
JOE IS ABOUT AS UNIFYING AS
PARTING IN AN ELEVATOR.
JUST ASK KAT.
THE PROTECTED MEDIA’S PRECIOUS
MENTAL HEALTH WE SCREWED OUR
COUNTRY OVER, SO WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT
REASSESSING TRUMP ONLY MAKES
BIDEN LOOKS WORSE FREIGHT IF
BIDEN IS WORSE THAN WHAT THE
MEDIA CALLS AN EXISTENTIAL
THREAT, THAN WHAT DO YOU CALL
BIDEN, SUPERDUPER EXISTENTIAL
THREAT?
IF THEY CAN’T COMPARE BIDEN TO
TRUMP’S ACHIEVEMENTS, WHAT DO
YOU DO?
YOU TALK ABOUT JANUARY 6 AND
WHITE SUPREMACIST.
SUDDENLY CONCERNED PARENTS
BECOME DOMESTIC TERRORISTS, AND
SURPRISE, AND AMAZING, THE
FACEBOOK WHISTLEBLOWER WHO JUST
MIRACULOUSLY SHOWED UP ON 60
MINUTES WILL NOW BE TESTIFYING
AT THE NEXT JANUARY 6 HEARING
GREAT SO ONCE AGAIN THE MEDIA IN
THE DEMOCRATS OUR IN CAHOOTS
WHICH IS NECESSARY WITH THESE
PULLING NUMBERS, IF BIDEN GOT
ANY MORE UNDERWATER, HE WOULD BE AQUAMAN.
LET’S WELCOME TONIGHT GUESTS
THEY SAID IT COULDN’T BE DONE,
BUT IN 2002, THE FORMER STATE
DEPARTMENT SPOKESWOMAN MORGAN
ORTEGA’S.
HER NAME IS LITHUANIAN FOR HELPING GROUP REACH REACHED UP
HELPING GROUP REACH REACHED UP
FROM THE TOP SHELF.
I WOULD HATE TO SEE WITH THIS GUY WEARS ON LAUNDRY DAY.
GUY WEARS ON LAUNDRY DAY.
THE PARTY.COM FOUNDER.
AND WHEN SHE IS NOT BEING A DIVA
, I’M SORRY, WHEN SHE’S NOT
BEING A DIVA WHEN GEOS YOU KNOW
WHO I AM, SHE HONESTLY CAN’T REMEMBER.
REMEMBER. FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR KAT TIMPF.
SO MORGAN, I ALMOST WORE THE
SAME THING.
BUT I TALKED TO FOX AND WE CAN’T
WEAR THE SAME THING ON THE SHOW.
HERE IS THE THING, THIS GUY HAS
BEEN IN POLITICS FOR HALF A
CENTURY AND HE SUCKS.
THAT TELLS ME THAT NO MATTER HOW
LONG YOU’RE IN POLITICS, IT
DOESN’T IMPROVE WITH EXPERIENCE,
IT’S ACTUALLY PROTECTS
INCOMPETENCE WHERE IF YOU HAD
SOMEBODY LIKE TRUMP THAT HAD NO
EXPERIENCE TO A BETTER JOB.
WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT POLICY
AND GENERAL?
>> IT SUCKS PROBABLY.
HE HAS BEEN AROUND FOREVER AND
HE WAS SORT OF THE OF THE JOKES
OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY FOR A
LONG TIME, BUT YOUR MEMBER THE
2008 DEBATES WHEN HE WAS ON
STAGE, THEY RELATE CAN YOU STOP
TALKING JOE, AND HE WAS SORT OF
THE JOKE HE JUST STAYED AROUND
LONG ENOUGH AND ACTUALLY GOT
ELECTED.
HIS POLL NUMBERS ARE TERRIBLE
IT’S ALSO THE JOBS NUMBERS.
I THINK THAT WOMEN LOST 28,000
JOBS.
WE DIDN’T GAIN ANY JOBS COME,
BUT WE LOST 28,000 AND IT’S NOT
JUST BECAUSE I THINK BIDEN HAS
SEEN BETTER YEARS, I THINK THE
POLICIES ARE BAD, BUT IT’S FUNNY
TO READ THE BUSINESS HEADLINES
THEY WERE LIKE WOMEN ARE HAVING
TO STAY AT HOME BECAUSE DAYCARE
IN SCHOOLS ARE CLOSED.
WHILE, WHO ELSE IS GOING TO?
OF COURSE IT’S
DISPROPORTIONATELY AFFECTING
WOMEN, THESE BAD POLICIES.
>> MICHAEL, HER POINT ABOUT JOE
IS KIND OF LIKE YOUR STRATEGY AT
A BAR.
STAY AROUND LONG ENOUGH AND YOU
MIGHT GET LUCKY.
>> YEAH, RIGHT AROUND 2:00 A.M.,
EVERYBODY’S HAMMERED AND YOU’RE
LIKE JOE’S FEELING GOOD, AMERICA
.
WHO WANTS A GOOD SCREWING?
>> LAST CALL JOE.
HE WAS LAST CALLED JOE.
THESE BELOW NUMBERS, WHO IS
SHOCKED BY THESE CRACKS I GUY
THAT’S BEEN HORRIBLE FOR 48
YEARS GREAT OAK, NOW HE’S
HORRIBLE AT THIS JOB TOO GREAT
LET’S PUT HIM BEHIND THE WHEEL
OF A FERRARI.
ERECTED, WHO KNEW?
’S NUMBERS ARE DROPPING FAST
FRED.
>> HOW FAST?
>> FASTER THAN NANCY PELOSI’S
CREAMY PATTIES AT CHARDON A EVENT.
HOW FAST?
FASTER THAN HUNDRED BIDEN
DROPPING TO HIS KNEES AT A
PARMESAN CARPET CLEANING CONTEST
.
FACTOR THAN GAVIN NEWSOM’S MASK
AT THE FRENCH LAUNDRY CAFÉ.
IT’S FUNNY, THESE NUMBERS ARE
NOT A SHOCK TO HAVE THE COUNTRY
PRAY TO HAVE THE COUNTRY IS JUST
WE STARTED, WE’RE EIGHT MONTHS
INTO THE LONGEST GAME OF WE TOLD
YOU SO EVER IN THE HISTORY OF
MANKIND.
>> CARLY, YOU LOOK VERY SPARKLY
TODAY.
WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
MY PREDICTION IS THE WORST THAT
JOE GETS, THE MORE INTENSELY THE
MEDIA WILL FOCUS ON DOMESTIC
TERROR.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
IT IS INTERESTING BECAUSE AS YOU
KNOW, THERE ARE TVS ALL OVER THE
FLOOR HERE OF FOX AIR THAT SHOWS
WHAT’S ON YOUR, CNN, MSNBC, AS
WE ARE COVERING THE NEWS OF THE
DAY IT IS FASCINATING TO SEE HOW
THEY ARE REALLY STUCK ON JANUARY
BECAUSE THAT’S ALL THEY HAVE.
PRESIDENT BIDEN, IF YOU THINK
ABOUT WHY HE WAS ELECTED TO
OFFICE, IT’S REALLY TO BE A
PLACEHOLDER PRESIDENT.
NOBODY VOTED FOR THEM BECAUSE HE
INSPIRED THE MASSES, THE PEOPLE
THAT DID JUST DIDN’T WANT TRUMP.
LIKE YOU SAID, THE POLL NUMBERS
ON THE ECONOMY, AFGHANISTAN,
FOREIGN-POLICY, CRIME, THOSE ARE
OBVIOUS BECAUSE WE’RE OBVIOUSLY
DOING BAD IN THOSE AREAS, BUT
THE POLL NUMBERS ON BIDEN’S
PERSONALITY ARE REALLY
INTERESTING.
IZZY ON IT?
THAT DROPPED 20 POINTS OVER THE
LAST EIGHT MONTHS.
THAT DROPPED 11 AND HIS
PERSONALITY WAS HIS.
AND BUTTER FOR THE FACT THAT HE
WAS GOING TO BE A MODERATE ALSO,
THAT’S NOT THE REALITY RIGHT NOW
.
>> I DON’T THINK IS
BREAD-AND-BUTTER.
IT’S GOT TO BE SOMETHING SMOOTH.
IT EASILY DIGESTIBLE.
STOP SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE,
CAT.
WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
THESE PULLING NUMBERS FOR JOE
BIRD WILL THE ADMINISTRATION
CHANGE COURSE?
THAT’S SPECIAL RECOURSE KIND OF
QUESTION.
>> OF NEVER BEEN ON THAT SHOW,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
LET’S SEE HOW I DO.
NOW, I DON’T THINK THEY’LL
CHANGE COURSE BECAUSE I DON’T
THINK HE’S THE ONE THINKING
ABOUT IT AT ALL.
I THINK WHATEVER PEOPLE TELL HIM
TO DO, HE SAYS OKAY, HE READS
OFF THE PROMPTER, AND THAT’S ALL
HE DOES FOR THEY STILL KEEP
GOING BACK TO THE TRUMP THING
BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE THEY SET
THE BAR THEY SAID IF YOU DON’T
PUT FOR THIS GUY AND TRUMP AS
THE PRESIDENT, ALL OF
CIVILIZATION WILL COLLAPSE AND
EVERYONE WILL DIE.
AS DUMB AS THAT IS, PEOPLE
BELIEVED IT TO RATE PEOPLE WERE
REALLY CONCERNED THAT THAT WOULD
HAPPEN.
AS THINK THERE ARE STILL GOING
TO BE PEOPLE HANGING ON SAYING
AT LEAST CIVILIZATION HASN’T
COLLAPSED, BUT AT THIS POINT
WERE GETTING CLOSE.
>> IT WAS APOCALYPSE EVERY DAY
WITH TRUMP.
AND NOW IT’S LIKE DOOM, BUT
EVERYBODY’S JUST PRETENDING.
>> IT’S NOT OUR FAULT.
EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG
INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON FIXING IT