-Today is Friday.
That's usually when I catch up on some personal stuff.
I check my in-box or I check my e-mails.
I send thank-you notes.
And I was just running -- [ Cheers and applause ]
I was running a bit behind today.
-Really? -Yeah.
Anyways, I'd like to write out some thank-you notes right now.
Is that cool with you guys? [ Cheers and applause ]
James, can I get some
thank-you-note-writing music, please?
[ Soft music playing ]
-Wow. Look at that. -Wow!
-Thank you, Three Wise Men bringing gifts of
gold, frankincense, and myrrh, for showing us
you clearly never have been to a baby shower.
It's like, "Diapers. Diapers."
[ Soft music playing ]
Thank you, tinsel, for showing me what my tree would look like
if it went through a '70s glam-rock phase.
-Nice! -Yeah.
[ Soft music playing ]
Thank you, Christmas, for being that special time
we reflect on the Holy Trinity --
regular, cheesy, and caramel.
Mix them both. Oh, you rebel!
[ Soft music playing ]
Thank you, Christmas lawn inflatables in the morning,
for looking like Frosty went a little too hard
the night before.
-Oh, no!
-[ Yawns ] Leave me alone.
"Wake up, wake up, Frosty."
-Blow me up.
-Ugh!
-Mm, Frosty!
[ Soft music playing ]
-Thank you, Christmas dinner,
for basically panicking and being like,
"Uh, let's just do Thanksgiving again, plus ham.
Yeah, that's what we'll do.
I don't know. Sure."
[ Soft music playing ]
Thank you, stores that offer gift wrapping,
for being a fun way of asking,
"Hey, want to be stuck here for an extra 40 minutes?"
I guess so.
[ Soft music playing ]
Thank you, wrapping gifts yourself,
for taking 10 seconds to go from "This is coming out great" to
"I mean, I don't need to cover the whole box."
No one looks at the bottom. -Yeah.
-Come on, it looks gorgeous.
Take a picture of it, yeah.
And save that wrapping paper. I want to use it next year.
[ Soft music playing ]
Thank you, eggnog, for easily being one of the top-five nogs.
Easily. -Easily, yeah.
[ Soft music playing ]
-Thank you, Rudolph saving Christmas,
for proving that Santa can make truly anything in his workshop,
as long as it's not headlights.
"Rudolph, you get in front, and --"
"Huh?" -Oh, no!
[ Soft music playing ]
-Thank you, sugarplums, for sounding suspiciously like
someone just trying to rebrand prunes.
"Uh, they're sugarplums.
-Is that the last one of 2021?
-[ Chuckles ] Wow.
This is the last one of 2021.
We're all here together, sharing this experience.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ A shared experience ♪
-I know. I love it. So happy.
Well, I want to thank each and every one of you
for coming out tonight and laughing...
[ Cheers and applause ]
...cheering...
[ Cheers and applause ]
...hooting...
[ Audience hoots ]
...hollering...
[ Crowd cheering ]
...yelling.
[ Crowd cheering ]
Whispering...
...loving... -Aww!
-...caring... -Ooh!
-...being jealous... -Ah!
-...being... [ Laughter ]
Yes.
[ Soft music playing ]
Thank you, Santa Claus, for festively testing
the limits of breaking-and-entering laws.
There you have it, everybody.
That's our last "Thank You Note" of 2021.