It's the most beautiful day of your life.
Your wedding day.
You're a vision, transcending time and far away galaxies with just a bat of your eyelashes.
All eyes are on you.
You are a queen.
You are a goddess.
You are….
um, basically wearing a taffeta sea monster atop your bosom?
Hold onto your hat, because it's time for a look at the tackiest wedding dresses of
all time.
Million dollar baby
Infamously extravagant British fashion designer Vivienne Westwood knocked everyone out with
this showstopper at a runway show in Tokyo — where models actually walked a boxing
ring instead of a catwalk.
We love a girl who can kick some butt, but this look's down for the count.
Balloon animal
The husband-to-be of bride Su Xuenuo's was a multi-talented wedding entertainer and balloon
magician, so he crafted this look in just one night out of 600 balloons!
These happy colors would make anyone giddy, but maybe she still should've saved this outfit
for a birthday party.
That's where you can be the center of attention as a clown, not a bride!
Carb queens
Bae, we get it.
You've been starving yourself for weeks to fit into that dress!
But was wearing an actual wedding cake the best choice?
Artist Lukka Sigurdardottir created this dress that's completely edible, and even has a checkered
cake petticoat!
Not to be outdone, baker Valentyn Shtefano made this dress for his fiancée out of cream
puffs.
According to the Associated Press, "The dress — made of 1,500 cream puffs and weighing
20 pounds — took the 28-year-old baker two months to make, and by the end of the wedding
reception, bride Viktoriya said she didn't want to take it off.”
As if in response, Moschino creative director Jeremy Scott featured this daily nutritional
value dress on the Milan runway in 2014.
The all-over print featured the math on saturated fat, sodium, and high fructose corn syrup
in all your favorite guilty pleasures.
Like, for instance, those other dresses.
Make it rain
You might have arrived as Miss Wedding-Broke, but you'll be Mrs. Takin'-It-To-The-Bank,
tonight!
Designer Sabina Gorelik crafted this dress as part of a collection for Mercedes Benz
Fashion Week Russia in 2012.
In case you're thinking this was the craziest of her designs, her other signature bridal
couture included a shawl of white rubber gloves, a bottle-nipple bustier, and a skirt loaded
with champagne flutes!
Interesting...
Safety first This shimmering frock made out of condoms
— yes, condoms — caused some major buzz in Australia, where it got everyone talking
about family planning fashion!
"Connie", as this gown is known locally, may have been created for a good cause, but can
you even imagine the rubber train squeaking along behind you?
Grandma would be crying.
And not because she's happy.
Fries before guys
Fast food blew up the runway at Miami Beach Funkshion Fashion Week 2015, where Miami International
University student designer Ricardo Hardouin's McDonald's couture involved "900 white sandwich
wrappers, 60 yellow sandwich wrappers, and 20 fry boxes," according to Us Weekly.
And of course, the Hamburglar was sitting front row!
To infinity
This little lady broke the Guinness World Record with her wow-worthy couture.
That's 17-year-old Romanian model Emma Dumitrescu hanging on to a hot air balloon, as her 2,750
meter train earned top spot as the longest ever, in 2012.
Reuters reported that the dress took 100 days to make, with 4,700 meters of material and
1,857 needles!
And no one even got married in it.
Showered with love
Thank you, Alexis Mabille, for your Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2010 line.
You proved that if you're ever in a pinch, a shower-curtain dress lets everyone know
you're squeaky clean and not afraid to show it!
And is that a shower pouf on her head?
If you do go this route for your wedding, just make sure your gift registry has a lot
of towels.
Look ma, no hands
Tired of carrying your bouquet?
There's a dress for that!
Vivienne Westwood's Paris 2015 show gifted us with this beauty.
Oops, did you wanna show your face?
Not this time, babe.
But luckily, since you don't have to hold onto your lilies, you're free to wave to your
guests, hi-five your attendants, and constantly adjust your enormous beekeeper hat.
Something blue
Here comes the bride, all dressed in — toilet paper?
Ah, that's award-winning TP, thanks to 31-year old mother of three Amber Mills, who fashioned
blue Charmin into a wearable gown!
In just three months, the Dallas, Texas design rookie completed an old Hollywood glam look
that was fierce enough to take third prize in the Cheap-Chic-Weddings.com 10th Annual
Toilet Paper Wedding Dress Contest.
At last, a dress that looks good stuck to your shoe.
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