So, I have made it no secret that given
the opportunity, I am always willing to
help. So for example, a couple months ago
when I was launching the Free Freelancer
coaching program, I put it out there that,
if you are in a situation where beyond
your circumstances, you're unable to
afford the program, it's, it's quite an
investment, that I'd be willing to figure a
way to make it work for you to contact
me, if it was based on circumstances way
beyond your control. So for example, if
you grew up in a war-torn country and
you managed to find your way to be
following me on YouTube, bettering
yourself and trying to create a better
life for yourself, definitely going to
find a way to make it work for you and
then this process, I got some emails and
some contact, and one of the emails that
was quite interesting from a great woman,
a great person but one of the things that really
stood out to me and in the email she
brought up being held accountable, and
she said that, "For sure, you can agree Dan,
that the most important thing a coach
can do is hold someone accountable, and I
need someone holding me accountable so I
can get my life together." And of course,
what did I say to that? No. Nope. Not going
to be me. Not in a million years is that
going to be me. I have zero interest in
holding you or anyone else accountable.
Does that make me a bad coach? Isn't a
coach someone who's supposed to hold you
accountable? You know, have to-do list and
checklist and say, "Hey, did you follow
all these goals?" Being accountable based
on being accountable to someone else is
only going to get you so far in life, and
I think a good coach is someone who's
going to help you create that
accountability in yourself, so that
you're not dependent on another person.
Now, yes, this might be a bad business
model, I'm sure it would work out a lot
better financially if I made everyone
dependent on me. But I think learning to
be independent, to be driven by yourself
and have that kind of internal
accountability is really important, and I
want to go through a few ways that you
can start doing that here and just why
it is so important. So, unless you grew up
in Southern California with some really
hippie parents, most of us dart life in a
position of being held accountable. From
being a kid to going to school, it's always
based on these external accountabilities
right? You do your homework or your parent
gets mad or your teacher gets mad at you, you
know, you behave a certain way, you follow
these rules, you show up on time, not for
you but because there'll be a
consequence. It's very old-fashioned,
carried in the stick, right? It's external
motivation. Do this or be punished, do
this and get rewarded, rather than doing
something for intrinsic or internal
motivation. Now, this can become a problem
as people try to transition either from
school or from a traditional job to
being an entrepreneur, someone who is
supposed to hold yourself accountable
and it's always better, I think, to be
intrinsically motivated or be motivated
by a mix of internal and external
motivation. So yes, you might want that
fancy car or to impress those girls, or
to buy that nice home, but you should
also have some kind of internal
motivation tied to your work and your
cause and that's going to give you the
most well-rounded fuel to keep you going
to the good times and the bad. So, if
you're trying to go through this
transition, yes, having someone like a
coach or an accountability partner can
be a good way to bridge the gap and
maybe help you get through some tough
times, but it's not a sustainable way to
operate. I cannot think of any really
successful entrepreneurs I know that are
still driven by an accountability
partner. Now, with that said, we all use
some level of accountability we set up
through things like mastermind groups or
just making commitments to people we
know or to ourselves. What I have found
is that, being accountable or following
through on your word, it's a bit like a
muscle. The more you use it, the more you
can rely on it and the stronger it is. So
what I would suggest doing, is start off
by becoming accountable to yourself on
small things. Make little commitments
that you can do, that you know you'll
follow through on. An example I used on
one of our group coaching calls the
other day was around leaving the last
piece of desert. You know that last piece
that's going to be the best, make that
your rule that you never eat the last
piece. It's going to challenge you, it'll
be a little hard, but you'll do it and
you'll start to make your word mean
something. And this is what's really
important, is your word needs to mean
something to you and that's how you
start to build that self accountability.
So with that, one is like I said, building
small things that you can say and then
do, and then say and then do and keep
building that muscle till eventually you
can use it for larger and
larger commitments. The other thing is to
stop saying you're going to do things
that you're not actually going to do. An
example I'll give you is learning Czech.
So, I have lived here in Prague for two
and a half years now, and when people ask
me are you learning Czech, I say, "Nope, I
am not." Now, of course this comes off as
like some rude American who doesn't want
to learn the local language, and I'm okay
with that perception. But the truth is,
when I first moved here, I started taking
private Czech lessons. And then, I went
and traveled for a bit and I forgot all
the Czech. Then, I took private, oh not
private, I took group classes every day
for two weeks intensive, then I went to
Brazil, speaking kind of Spanish, trying
to get by with their Portuguese, came
back, forgot all the Czech. I realized
that the way I was approaching learning
Czech was not going to work, and that
probably to learn it, the best way for me
would be to go off to some small town
for three months and just do intensive
work for three months, where I would not
be interrupted by another trip in
another language. So, I've committed to
not learning Czech right now, where I
just don't do it, and so when I do commit
to learning it, my word will still mean
something, rather than what I might have
done before which is to say, "Yeah I'm
kind of learning, you know, it's going okay,"
but not having that mean anything, right?
You can apply the same logic to health, to
routines, to eating well. If you're not
going to eat healthy, just say you're not
eating healthy and own that. And yes, it's
not the best necessarily, necessarily
thing to do, but it's going to at least
start building that muscle of your word
meaning something, of it holding true
right? There's power in your words. Now, I
am not saying there is no value in
external accountability, there definitely
is. I've written articles myself talking
about different tools I've used.
Particularly myself, I like public
accountability. So, making a big claim
where if I don't do it, I'm going to be
shamed and embarrassed basically, I'll be
held a liar which is something I don't
want to be publicly. So, I definitely use
these tools and I'm not saying there's
not a place for them, but what I am
saying is, if you base everything you're
doing on being held accountable by
someone else, you're going to be stuck in
this cycle of dependency and you're not
going to have the true motivation that
it takes to really accomplish a lot of
great things, where, whereas if you're
motivated by more intrinsic
stuff by yourself, you're held
accountable to yourself, you're going to
have a lot more power there. And so, keep
this in mind that, in general, being
accountable to yourself and following
through on the things you'll do becomes
a habit and it becomes a muscle. So, the
more you do it, the easier it becomes. I
do not claim to be in this place now,
probably somewhere in the middle but I
remember at one point when I was
starting as a copywriter and I was
really dialed in, where if I said
something, it would happen. Like I would
get up at 6am and go run in the cold, it
didn't matter. I had built this habit of
my word meaning something over and over
and over again, and it became really
powerful. And then, eventually, I shattered
that and it screwed me up. I had this
whole power I've built and then I let it
fall apart, and then have rebuilt it at
different times and stuff. So it is
habitual and it is based on basically
building it up, and so if you're
somewhere right now where your word
means nothing, like you often flake out
on plans, maybe you say you're going
to do something and you don't and you're
not even upset that you didn't, because
you just expect not to follow through on
your words, first off, come on, you can do
better than that. Secondly, build it up
gradually. Pick something small, like I
mentioned the desert example or
something like that, that you can just
build up that accountability, that
willpower, that follow through and just
more and more make your word mean
something, and stop saying you're going
to do things you're not going to do. I
think it's much better to just say,
"Not going to do that," then say
you are, but knowing in the back your
mind you're not going to, because that just
erodes the power of your words, which can
be really powerful if you use them the
right way. If you've enjoyed this video
be sure to subscribe here so that you
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