- Listen to me.
- (laughs) Listen to me. The king of the castle.
- So this video today is all about how I got a new knife.
- No, it is not about that.
- Fine.
(whimsical music)
- [Kristin] It's the Kitchen and Jorn show.
- We went back to our favorite grocery store chain.
- Trader Joe's!
- Tr-tr-trader Joe's!
- She's a very busty grocery store.
(laughs)
- I was like, we should shoot a Trader Joe's video,
how about snacks?
How many snacks could there possibly be?
(silence)
- [Jen] Too many.
- [Kristin] Turns out, like 89.
- We're sorry, Kelly, what's the correct number?
Wow, so many!
So disclaimer, these were all the Trader Joe's
branded snack foods that we could find
in our local Trader Joe's, there are likely
going to be some more that you could find
in your Trader Joe's or some more online.
So we're going to do our best to group
all similar foods together so that we can
consolidate some of this.
- [Jen] So this is what we got!
- Look at all this stuff, we're still sorting it.
Like potato puffs; are they a puff snack
or are they a potato chip?
- [Jen] (laughs) Okay, well I think Brittany decided
what they were, she just threw them in that pile.
(laughs)
- [Jen] We got so many bags of tortilla chips
and no salsa because we're idiots.
Just like all videos, I know this looks like
a lot of food, it's a little grotesque.
Just so you know, we're not going to waste it, this food-
- We literally have a campus with like 400 people on it.
When you put out snacks for them,
it is literally gone in 15 minutes.
- That for every snack that Kristin and I eat,
Kelly and Brittany will be performing an original song.
(laughs)
- Song one:
♪ I love snacks. ♪
♪ They are my life. ♪
♪ I would like to make them my wife! ♪
- Except it's supposed to be Kelly and Brittany!
- I'm sorry! (laughs)
- So we're about to go eat some snacks;
it's going to be tasty and a little bit gross.
We're starting with the cheesy type snack.
- So we're also going to spend more time
on the snacks that are truly originals
and less on time things like--
- Pretzels!
- And corn chips!
- Because, like, it's corn chips.
- As always, the way we'll rank the food will be:
just okay, pretty good, and - [Both] really great!
- And then of course, for the stuff we really don't like,
there's penalty box bad!
- Blegh!
Our first snack of the day:
the organic mini cheese sandwich crackers!
- I think these are meant for children.
- Yeah, they definitely are.
- So they're perfect for us!
- Look at these puppies.
- Arf arf!
Basically a Ritz cracker.
So I think this is just okay,
you think it's pretty good.
- I think it's pretty good.
- Okay, so we're going to have to do rock, paper, scissors.
One, two, three, shoot!
- Aww.
- [Both] They're just okay.
- Oven baked cheese bites, imported from Italy.
- Arrivederci, my good (beep).
- Interesting texture, - Okay.
- it's kind of like the moon.
- This is a parmesan crisp.
Pretty good.
- Pretty good.
- How many have we done, two?
- Yeah.
They're flying by!
- Cheddar rocket crackers.
- These are Goldfish.
- These are also for children.
- Much more of a cheddar flavor than comparable snacks
but Kristin is a Goldfish connoisseur
so I'm curious of her opinion.
- Kinda bland.
- Really?
I don't know what I'm talking about.
These are just okay.
- Cheese sticks in cheddar.
I have a feeling these might taste like
parmesan crisps even though they're cheddar.
- Oh they're big!
They're like the spaceships but greasier.
- I am eating them off the table, so maybe I like them.
- You eat most things off the table.
- Shut up.
They're just okay but we're not going
to kick them out of the bed.
Baked cheese crunchies.
- I think these are like Cheetos,
but like not.
- They're Trader Joe-os.
- It's kind of like Cheetos but slightly less greasy.
- I like the way they taste.
- Oh, these are growing on me.
- They're pretty good!
Spicy cheese crunchies.
Y'all know how I feel about spicy snacks...
Some reason for a split second
I thought all of us in this room were named Kelly.
I was like, that's Kelly, that's Kelly, that's Kelly.
I'm still Jen, somehow.
Because you can taste the corn flavor a little bit more,
it's kind of odd with the spice.
- There's not enough fat to counteract
the acid of the spice.
- What about the salt?
- [Kristin] I think these are just okay.
- Reduced fat cheesy puffs.
Their take on, I believe, Cheetos Puffs.
- I'm shocked, I was expecting like,
this is mostly air!
- I think these are pretty good.
So the next category we're going to do is popcorn.
- I hate popcorn.
- I didn't know that.
- It's a textural thing for me.
- Organic air popped popcorn.
- It's just kind of packing peanuts.
- It really doesn't have buttery flavor to it.
- [Kristin] It's just okay.
- It's just okay.
But this is where we might actually get some butter,
because this is Trader Joe's Movie Theater Popcorn.
Yeah, this is the good stuff.
This is some buttery baby, I (beep) love it.
- It tastes the same to me.
- Just trust me Kristin; I actually like popcorn.
- All right, I will trust you on this one.
- [Jen] I think it's pretty good.
Heirloom popcorn with avocado oil and pink salt.
- This is delicious.
- You can definitely taste the avocado oil,
which is pretty cool;
it adds like a very nice, fatty flavor to the popcorn.
This is pretty good.
We got Kristin to like a popcorn.
Trader Joe's popcorn with herbs and spices.
- Kinda tastes like it's rolling around
in grandma's pot-pourri dish.
- Potpourri?
- Pot-purri!
- This is just okay.
Trader Joe's kettle corn.
It is sweet, it is salty, it's light.
- Mm!
Pleasantly surprised.
- Yeah.
- I didn't know popcorn could do this to me.
- Pretty good.
Caramel and cheddar popcorn mix.
- This better impress me or I will be
voting it off the island.
I think they're pretty good.
- These are just okay.
- Wait, did I like a popcorn more than you did?
- You definitely did.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
I win!
These are just okay.
- They're not just okay!
- If Kristin likes them, then they're pretty good.
- Okay.
- Trader Joe's Organic Popcorn with
Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
- We get it, you're organic.
- And a virgin.
I think this one's pretty good.
- No it's, what are you?
It's... it tastes... it... no.
- Tastes like popcorn that you dipped
in the olive oil of your pasta.
- I think you're hypnotized by the bag.
- No I'm not.
It's just okay.
White cheddar popcorn.
I like popcorn and I'm tired of this.
- Wow, that is the whitest popcorn I've ever seen.
- Cheesy, breezy, easy - Beautiful
- Pretty good.
We've basically already tried this: caramel corn.
- It's like a little caramel apple,
but, like, much easier to manage
when you're at the theme park.
It's pretty good.
- And the final popcorn: birthday cake popcorn.
- It's like Fruity Pebbles on it?
- Coated in vanilla glaze.
- I need to clear my little palate.
- I'm actually very curious.
They do taste a little bit like, I don't know,
birthday cake frosting.
- Pretty good.
Broccoli florets.
- These are just, like, dehydrated broccolis.
- But fried.
- Oh, yum.
- It's like it reeks.
Broccoli's one of those vegetables
that does not take well to being dehydrated.
I think broccoli requires water.
Um... oh god.
Eww!
Why are you like this?
I think they're penalty box bad.
I couldn't even finish them.
- Crispy crunchy okra!
Mm!
- Better than the broccoli florets.
(laughs)
- I don't like it.
- [Jen] These are just okay.
Corn, pea, bean and kee-no-ah crisps.
- Quinoa.
- Dammit.
These are pretty good.
- They're okay.
I feel like this video we really haven't agreed on a lot.
We've been doing a lot of rock, paper, scissors.
- You win, they're just okay.
- (laughs) You can't just let me win every time.
- Why not?
- Okay, (laughs) these are just okay.
- Fine, rock, oh okay.
Yeah, they're just okay.
Seasoned kale chips.
Ugh!
- Why is this happening to me?
- I don't like it.
- I actually don't dislike kale either,
but I think this is, like, nonsense.
This is penalty box bad.
- Veg... (retches)
- Please don't vomit.
- Vegetable root chips.
The root vegetables in here are taro, batata, and parsnip.
- These are the only veggie chips so far we've tasted
where it was actually worth dehydrating the vegetables.
These are really great!.
- Veggie crisps.
They're not going to be a substitute for potato chips,
but as a snack, I would love to eat these with a sandwich.
Pretty good!
Veggie sticks.
- They're like fries but they're like trick fries,
because they have vegetables in them!
Ehh, I'm not into it.
- These are just okay.
Inner peas.
(Kristin gasps)
- These also kind of look like
the veggie sticks we just ate.
- These are awesome!
- They taste really similar to the other stuff, though.
- No they don't!
This has more of a depth of flavor.
I think these are really great.
- Dehydrated beets.
♪ Just beets ♪
(EDM music)
- These chips would make for a great (whispers) ASMR video.
(scratching sounds)
- The problem is that
the beet definitely rehydrates in your mouth.
- I don't love beets so I think they're just okay.
Trader Joe's has a variety of seaweed,
so we're just going to try all of them at the same time.
Wasabi roasted seaweed with sea salt.
- I've actually never had seaweed before
in a non-sushi context.
- This is kind of a risk for your first seaweed experience.
It's pretty good, right?
- No.
- I overrule you!
- I'm going to defer to you on this,
because I feel like you like seaweed.
Roasted seaweed with sea salt.
- I feel like I'm not going to like this either.
- It's seaweed.
- It's slightly better.
- This one might be my least favorite
because this is teriyaki seaweed.
- This is the one I like the best, but still no.
- These are pretty good.
- We've come to the part of the video
where we have to eat all of the tortilla and corn chips.
This is going to be a bit of a speed run.
I don't know how many different opinions
I'm going to have about tortilla chips.
- In the video, you might not see our reaction
to every chip, but at the end of this section,
we will have the scorecard that tells you
where all of these chips ranked.
So if you're very curious, you can check out the scorecard
and see that for yourself.
The rolled corn tortilla chips chili and lime flavored.
I am into this.
- Oh my god.
- Really great.
Trader Joe's nacho cheese tortilla chips.
- This is Trader Joe's Doritos basically.
- Oh, exactly.
Huh.
- Oh I like these a lot.
- These are good.
- Let's be clear, these don't taste like Doritos.
- Pretty good.
Sweet potato tortilla chip.
- I love sweet potatoes.
- I am glad you do.
Can't really taste the sweet potato.
- No, you can't.
- These are just okay.
Quinoa and black bean infused tortilla chips.
I like the quinoa and black bean flavor.
It's just a starchy chip, which I love.
- You've sold me on this.
- I think these are pretty good.
(bouncy piano music)
Tortilla chips seasoned with Brussels sprouts,
garlic, onion and parsley.
I love garlic, I love onions.
- How do you season with Brussels sprouts?
It's like seasoning with water.
This is a very ambitious chip.
- Yeah, when you tell me there's going to be garlic
and I can't detect it, you break my heart.
They're pretty good, but give me the garlic.
Organic elote corn chip dippers.
They don't smell like Fritos,
but they kind of look like them.
- You definitely taste the elote.
- Yeah.
- Oh my god.
- These are great.
(bouncy piano music)
- Sweet plantain chips.
These look like little tongues.
- I think that they're not the best plantain chips ever,
but the night is not over.
- Yeah, they're pretty good.
Jerk style plantain chips.
The thing is, I don't mind the jerk spices,
that's the only thing I'm getting.
Like, I don't really get the plantain flavor.
- These are just okay.
- Roasted plantain chip.
They are very good, they lose a little bit of sweetness
because they're drier.
Pretty good.
- Even though I wanted to say really great,
but shh secret.
♪ Pita chip party! ♪
♪ Four at once, ♪
♪ It's a foursome. ♪
- Original.
- Salty, tasty, just the right amount of oil.
- I know, right?
- Pita chips are great.
Parmesan, garlic and herb.
What did we say earlier?
We said give me the garlic.
So garlicky.
- These are really great.
- You are the king of the castle.
- Multigrain.
This sesame cardboard is not bad.
- You can also tell that it's multigrain.
- There's more than one grain.
They're just okay.
- These are reduced guilt.
- Sea salt.
These are pretty good.
- It's missing some guilt.
- Trader Joe's peanut butter filled pretzels.
- This is going to be a problem for you,
because you don't like peanut butter inside pretzels.
- I don't; I don't like peanut butter at all.
- Peanut butter tastes like peanuts.
It tastes like baseball game.
Not that you should eat a baseball game,
but if you did...
- That's what it would taste like.
- These are pretty good.
- Peanut butter filled pretzels,
but these pretzels don't have salt.
Wow these are really sm... they're really smooth
they're (beep) hard to hold onto.
- These are disturbingly smooth.
I feel like we should blur this pretzel out.
These are pretty good.
- Honey wheat pretzel sticks with a
terrifying horror story of a man on the front.
- He's like, you want pretzels?!
- You want them?!
These are the same no matter what brand you get.
They're pretty good.
(bouncy piano music)
Gluten free pretzel twists.
If you're used to the taste of gluten free dough,
I think you will find these pretty pleasing.
- That said--
- They're just okay.
- We have less potato chips than we had tortilla chips.
Still a lot.
(playful piano music)
Okay.
- It's white truffle.
These are pretty good.
(snoring)
- Are you listening to her?
Or are you using it as a pillow?
- She's dead.
Classic potato chips.
These are some thin chips.
This is always going to be the best chip,
of course it's great.
Hawaiian style hickory barbecue flavor potato chips.
- This is really great, this is delicious!
The kettle cooked, it really just kind of like soaks it.
- Ghost pepper potato chips.
- It's haunted.
- How hot can they be?
(coughs)
- Flavor wise, like beyond the initial burn,
there isn't that much of a distinct flavor,
so these are just okay.
I wanted them to hurt us more.
The original olive oil kettle cooked potato chips.
- Oh wow, that's like, you can see through it.
- I mean you can taste the olive oil,
which I like.
- It's pretty good.
- What is being revealed is that
Kristin and I both have a preference for thinner chips,
so that's probably why the thinner chip,
we're enjoying more.
Sweet potato ridge cut.
♪ Open that bag, give me that chip. ♪
- Oh, she's shy.
No, no, no.
It's pretty good.
- Pretty good? Okay.
(bouncy piano music)
- These are the brown rice organic rice cakes.
- Why am I doing this to myself?
- I like it.
- What is wrong with you?
- I like all things rice.
It's just okay Kristin.
(bouncy piano music)
- How many do we have left?
- 15.
- 15?
- Nope, 16, I forgot the one in my hand.
- Oh my god.
- These are basically just Ritz crackers
with peanut butter instead of cheese.
- Ooh, these are delicious!
I think these are really great.
- Cornbread crisps.
- I like cornbread!
- I do like cornbread too.
♪ One crisp is all it takes ♪
- We don't have the rights to that song.
- You know what, I don't have the rights to you.
Open this bag - That's true.
Pretty good.
Sour cream and onion corn puffs.
It's like a little bit of an onion taste,
but not enough where it really makes a show for itself.
It's just okay.
And now for his brother!
White cheddar corn puffs.
They look like weird little intestines.
The cheddar flavor is a lot stronger on this one.
- These are just okay.
- Cinnamon apple snack sticks.
The apple flavor is really strong,
and then the cinnamon sugar is just a delight.
- Oh my god, these are delicious!
This is really great!
Did we find a puffed rice thing that I loved
and a sweet thing that you loved?
- Look at that.
- Baked churro bites.
I really hope these are good.
- Don't you disappoint us.
Would you like to eat a piece of caramel corn,
but you hate the parts of corn that are annoying?
Might I introduce you to churro bites!
- Really great.
Trader Joe's knows how to do cinnamon.
Grand slam, it's basically like Trader Joe's
baseball snack mix.
- I don't see any nuts in here.
- Yeah.
Basically just caramel corn with,
like, a hint of almond.
They're just okay.
Blueberry almond peanut date and nut bites.
The chia seeds and the cumflower seeds don't...
Ooh I said cumflower seeds.
- They're sort of like a Fig Newton, but naked.
- This Fig Newton (beep).
- They're pretty good.
- Bamba peanut snacks.
- This is like my worst enemy
and your worst enemy had a baby.
- All right, this is penalty box bad.
- It's penalty box.
- Such a weird snack.
Coconut sesame seed clusters.
- What am I holding?
I think it's funny the way it's served here,
because it's like we hollowed out a coconut
and then we put it's dead brothers inside.
- It's (beep) up.
As a snack, pretty good.
Crunchy nutty rice bites with quinoa and cranberries.
Oh whoa, they look like mean Rice Krispies.
- The face you made made me think
there was like, money in there.
- Wha?!
(laughs)
- I don't hate it.
Pretty good.
- Spud crunchies potato snacks.
They're dehydrated french fries.
- I hate this thing, I hate the whole family.
- I think they're alright.
I do hate their happiness.
They're just okay.
These are the Trader Joe's crunchy curls
with lentil and potato.
Whoa, that is a weird smell.
Smell that.
- Oh my god.
A rice snack but stale and curled for some reason.
And there's like, no flavor.
These are bad.
- Trader Joe's sesame sticks.
I knew these would be good.
- I didn't, and I was pleasantly surprised.
This is pretty good.
- Trader Joe's organic trail mix,
but these are only cashews, almonds, and cranberries.
So no chocolate, which seems bold.
It's good.
- It's probably actually going to help you on the trail.
- Dried baby bananas.
- They never had the chance to become adult bananas.
The smell is significant.
- (laughs) These are crazy looking.
Pretty good.
Guess what Kristin?
- This is the last one?
- It's the last one.
Mochi rice nuggets.
- I hate puffed rice.
I get that they've worked really hard
to get their band off the ground,
but I still don't want to eat their snack.
- They feel like they're just going to taste like rice puff.
These are just okay.
- Glad you finally came around
to the side of right and good.
We're finally done!
What is it like five o'clock?
That only took us all day.
My least favorite three were the okra,
the broccoli, and the crunchy curls.
- My least favorite three were the peanut bamba snacks,
crunchy curls, and the kale chips.
My faves are the apple cinnamon sticks,
parmesan, garlic, and herb pita chips,
and the sesame sticks.
- I agree with you that the apple cinnamon snack stick,
the churro bites, and the vegetable root chips.
- The biggest takeaway, a lot of snacks
don't taste that differently.
They're kind of all in the same snack family.
- But I appreciate the diversity in ingredients,
so that people with different dietary needs
can get what they want, so you don't feel left out,
that's good.
- Trader Joe's, you know what,
keep doing you, Joe.
- I mean, this isn't the last one we'll make.
- No, so we're going to keep doing you, I guess.
- We're going to keep doing you all day long.
(jaunty violin music)