If you play Overwatch, chances are you thought,
"You know, it might be fun to play as an archer once.
I know. I'll pick Hanzo."
Chances are also good that your team yelled at you
for daring to pick him.
Calling someone a Hanzo main
has become an insult levelled by kids on the schoolyard
and political action committees, seriously.
In the last election cycle,
a political action committee brought out a billboard
calling Trump a Hanzo main.
Why?
How could one hero get so much hate?
And if he does, why do so many people pick him?
Hey, my name is Dave,
and today, we're bringing you the top nine reasons why you,
yeah, you, you right there pick Hanzo.
Number nine: You think you're better at aiming than you are.
Some people have incredible aim,
and there's a number of heroes to accommodate those people,
your Widowmakers and your Anas,
heroes who rely on consistent accuracy to do their job.
And when they do it well, the results are devastating.
You play Hanzo because he makes you feel like
you're one of these incredible snipers,
even when you aren't.
And I know what you're thinking, "But I kill people all the time!
Check out my Bronze Elimination medal,"
and you might kill people,
you may very well get sick headshots.
Even if you are killing with consistency,
it's a psychological trick of Hanzo's hero powers.
The Sonic Arrow gives you a better idea
of where to direct your rain of arrows.
It's easy to score headshots
when you know a mass of bodies is about to round the corner.
And the Scatter Arrow lets you turn misses into hits.
Not only that, but arrows are bigger than bullets,
and so it's a tad easier to score a hit
than it would be with a sniper rifle.
Even if you're contributing to your team,
it has less to do with sick aim and more to do
with the sheer volume of shots you managed to send out.
You might miss 99% of the headshots you aim for,
but if you fire 2,000 arrows,
you're still going to do pretty all right.
Just understand, you're not Legolas.
You're more like the Persian archers in the 300.
You don't have to aim that well
when you can shoot an entire cloud of arrows.
Number eight: You're trying to make a statement.
Every friend group has that one guy
that defends Hawkeye in The Avengers.
He's important to the team
because he's versatile and resourceful.
Yeah, sure.
If I ever need someone to shoot a USB stick
into a port from 20 feet away, I'll call Hawkeye...
Or not because I could just call Iron Man
who can beat up all the bad guys
and just plug the USB stick in like a normal human.
People like defending Hawkeye.
If you're playing Hanzo,
it might be because you are that guy.
You don't need to spend long with Overwatch
to see people making fun of Hanzo and Hanzo players.
Search for Hanzo hate on the internet
and a slower computer might buckle under the sheer volume
of mean-spirited jokes and confused Hanzo memes.
You feel something.
Deep down in your heart,
something you thought had been lost to you
after years and years of gaming, compassion.
And like the Grinch, your heart grew three sizes
and you decided you were going to be a voice for the voiceless,
a champion for the weak, you were going to be a Hanzo main.
Frankly, you don't do much better
than anyone else catching flak
and perpetuate the stereotype that Hanzo players
don't think about their team comp
and don't play well.
Number seven:
You have a pathological fear of reloading.
I imagine that
when they're not fighting together on the battlefield,
D.Va and Hanzo get together
and talk about how reloading killed someone they love.
Not having to reload is an incredible ability
and making these two heroes stand out.
You're smart enough to recognise the value of this.
You never have to stop firing.
If you're playing Soldier: 76,
you are a terror of the battlefield for 25 rounds.
Then, for 1.5 seconds, you might as well be a 2-year-old.
That 1.5 seconds can kill.
You fear it, you avoid it, so you play Hanzo.
Some people think reloading is neat part of shooters.
In the heat of battle,
you have to make the split-second decision
on whether or not you can survive the delay
while you get ready to get back into the thick of battle.
Reload at the wrong time and you'll get yourself killed.
But if you wait too long to reload,
you'll be forced to once your clip runs out.
It helps keep each fire fight interesting
and it's why it's an important part of shooters.
You, on the other hand, envision a better world
where you can fire arrows constantly
without ever having
to make one of the most interesting decisions
in the game.
Number six, someone took your hero
and you're angry about it.
You were going to play Reinhardt.
You were going to be a tremendous team player,
helping your team push forward while keeping them all safe.
You were going to protect everyone
from a D.Va ult using your shield.
You were going to charge a Bastion off of a cliff.
You weren't just going to be a team player,
you were going to be the team's anchor.
And then some jerk snatched it all away
from you by picking Rein first just like that,
some fast fingers snatched away
all of your dreams and happiness.
Your noble heart turns black.
You're not even sure if you want to win anymore.
You could leave the match,
but that would make you look like a cry-baby.
You could throw the match, but that would get you reported.
No, you're stuck here.
If you're on voice chat,
you could beg or yell to try and get this person to switch.
But they'll just mute you if they haven't already.
No, you're stuck here.
For the next six minutes,
you're going to have to play as somebody you don't want to.
In your brooding, you turn to Hanzo.
You know he's one of the most controversial picks.
Hell, you might hate him, too.
Under normal circumstances,
you'd never pick him,
but your team hates him, and you hate your team.
The enemy of your enemy is your friend.
Number five: You've got the wolf legendary skin.
When you buy awesome clothes, you want to show them off.
Hanzo's legendary skins
are some of the coolest cosmetics in Overwatch.
You can be Young Hanzo who has a pouty mystique
that could put a '90s boy band to shame.
You can also be Wolf Hanzo,
which is not only a pretty rad skin
but also changes his voice lines and sound effects.
When you normally fire his ult,
the twin dragons make an awful wailing noise
that sounds like a car horn slowed down.
The wolf skin doesn't get rid of that
but at least it covers it up with a sweet wolf howl.
Also, when he's using his Sonic Arrows,
he'll instead say, "The wolf marks his prey."
I don't know what he means exactly,
but given that wolves mark territory,
I like to believe that this Hanzo
is tracking enemies with urine-powered arrows.
All of this is to say that
if you're lucky enough to nab this skin,
it's perfectly natural to want to try it out.
And if you bought it with gold,
you don't want it to seem like it's going to waste,
so of course you're going to play Hanzo,
even if you're not very good with him
and even if he's not a smart tactical choice.
And he is almost never a smart tactical choice.
Number four: You're stopping someone else from picking Hanzo.
Sometimes you just know
someone on your team is going to be a problem.
You don't have proof,
but you know this person is going to pick Hanzo
and they're going to suck.
So you take one for the good of your team.
You bolt and pick Hanzo before they even get the chance.
Your team might hate you for this.
After all, they might not have the same instincts you do.
But you know in your heart of hearts
that this is for the best.
You can endure the raging complaints of your team.
What you can't endure is a bad Hanzo,
which, if that's how you feel,
then you probably hate Hanzo more than we do.
In that case, we salute your dedication,
unless, of course, you're just saying all that
to justify yourself picking Hanzo.
You wouldn't do that, would you?
Number three: A Hanzo ruined your day that one time.
Every now and then, a Hanzo connects
and their headshots are devastating.
If you play more than an hour of Overwatch,
you're going to come across someone on a tear
that absolutely ruins your day.
You won't get anything done.
Try to ult, headshot.
Pushing the payload, headshot.
Pushing forth from the safety of a Reinhardt shield,
get hit by his ultimate,
which he earned from all those headshots.
At this point, you have three options.
One, explain this away as bad luck,
two, convince yourself you encountered
the rarest of creatures, a good Hanzo player,
or three, assume the hero is better than you thought
and start playing him yourself.
Of course, the Shimada bro doesn't work
as well in your hands,
he never does, and yet, you'll persist,
ever chasing the dream of once ruining someone
with Hanzo as badly as you were ruined.
Number two, you're working on a headshot montage.
It's fun to beat up on Hanzo,
but we can't deny that he's fun to watch
when he's raking up headshots.
Hanzo montages are a thing of beauty.
And the best part, because it's a montage,
it's very easy to cherry pick your best moments
and leave out everything else.
Unfortunately for your team,
they're innocent bystanders in your quest
for some choice footage.
This match, to you,
is one well-placed kill from across the map.
To your team, you're standing back at spawn
and shooting arrows.
If you watch a lot of these videos,
you'll come across one or two where the uploader
also includes recordings of their teammates
begging them to switch.
The video goes on to show them pulling off
only the most incredible feats of sniping,
but you always have to wonder,
"Did all those clips really come from the same match?"
I'd be willing to bet that in more than one of these cases,
the complainers were right and that any skill on displays
are the result of Hollywood magic.
Number one, despite everything, he's a blast to play.
He's not good in most scenarios
and he doesn't fit into the competitive meta
at the time of writing,
but sometimes, that doesn't matter.
Hanzo is great fun.
He has neat movement options, he can see through solid walls,
and eating enemies with giant twin dragons
is never not funny, seriously!
Watch the panic in the enemy team next time you ult.
It's joyous.
If this sounds like you,
stick to Quick Play and you'll be fine.
If people want to complain there, then that's on them.
Those of us who play Hanzo or Winston
or Tex Symmetra deserve a place to play, too.
You can't choose who you love.
And if you love Hanzo, then go ahead and play him,
and don't care about the haters.
And there you have it, the top nine reasons why you play Hanzo.
Any Hanzo mains out there with a rebuttal?
Any other reasons why you pick Hanzo?
Be sure to let us know in the comments.
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Thanks for watching, everyone,
and I'll see you next time, your Hanzo main.