-Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
You're here. That's right. [ Cheers and applause ]
Ah, I'm happy. Thank you for watching at home.
Well, guys, everybody's talking about this.
Today, President Biden challenged
former President Trump to two debates,
and Trump accepted.
[ Audience ohhs ]
Yeah. Trump agreed to the debate.
He said, "I'll be there assuming it's okay
with my parole officer. I will..."
[ Laughter ]
The first debate will be next month,
which is the earliest a presidential debate has ever been.
And if we're being honest,
an early-bird debate feels right for these guys.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, Biden and Trump will meet June 27th on CNN,
and one of Biden's debate conditions
was not having an audience.
So that explains why it's on CNN.
[ Laughter ]
Another condition from Biden
is that he wants microphones that automatically cut off
when a candidate hits their time limit.
-Audience: Yes!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Which -- Which will work right up until
Trump walks over to Biden's podium.
"And that's why...
As I was saying over there...
More wall!"
Okay. Thank you.
Yep. Microphones that automatically cut off.
Biden got the idea after his last press conference
when his staff was like, "We need a microphone
that automatically cuts off."
Biden and Trump also accepted an invitation from ABC
to debate on September 10th,
and the winner will have the option of being President
or the next Golden Bachelor.
So that's -- it's a tough call.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Tough call. But get this.
Biden actually made the debate challenge to Trump
in a video that he posted. Take a look at this video.
Ooh.
[ Laughter ]
Biden's talking smack! -Yeah!
-Usually, an 81-year-old doesn't get this riled up
unless you park in front of their house.
Like, "Oh, you listen to me!
Get off my lawn... [ Mumbling ]
...do it twice!"
[ Mumbling ]
Thank goodness they had subtitles, right? I gotta...
[ Mumbling ]
"Twice!"
Meanwhile, yesterday during Trump's trial,
his lawyer grilled Michael Cohen
on how he called Trump a Cheeto-dusted cartoon villain.
[ Laughter ]
It was pretty interesting, but that's not all he called him.
Michael Cohen also called him...
[ Laughter ]
A lot of nicknames.
Wow.
[ Applause ]
Well, switching gears, Boeing announced
that its first crewed space launch has been delayed again
due to a helium leak in the spacecraft.
A spokesman for Boeing said... [High-pitched voice] "Come on, guys.
Give us a couple weeks to work out the kinks.
We're human, just like you are. We make mistakes, and we try..."
A helium leak. It's not every day
Party City gets a call from NASA.
Like, "What?"
Have you guys seen this?
The Paris Olympics is providing athletes with twin-sized beds
that have cardboard frames to keep them from having sex.
[ Laughter ]
If they wanted a bed where sex was guaranteed to never happen,
they could have just used the one from my college dorm.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, that's right. They said all athletes will have beds,
except for the badminton team
who they don't have to worry about.
Actually, they do have these things. They're called anti-sex beds.
We have a photo. This is real. Look at this. Yeah.
The anti-sex part is that that guy will always be there.
"What are you guys doing? What are you talk--
What are we gonna talk about?"
Some entertainment news. ABC just announced
that Joan Vassos will be
the first-ever Golden Bachelorette.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah.
There's a lot riding on this. Based on last season,
Joan could be making a three-month commitment.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, it's gonna be awkward
when Gary, the Golden Bachelor, shows up like,
"Guess who's single again! Hi!"
Well, listen to this. To promote their new
Dolly Parton doughnut collection,
Krispy Kreme is giving away free doughnuts
to fans who sing one of her songs.
Yeah. Not to be outdone,
Dunkin' Donuts will give you a bucket of stale Munchkins
if you say, "How do you like them apples?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
"I got her numba."
Well, this is interesting.
New data shows that Americans spend 10%
of their TV viewing time on YouTube.
Yeah. Yeah.
When they heard that, other platforms were like...
[ Goat screams ]
[ Laughter ]
Because they're falling behind. I mean, the news
really hit them out of nowhere, kind of like...
-Bye!
-[ Screaming ]
[Bleep, bleep]
-But here's the thing.
When asked why they're doing so well,
YouTube didn't really have a solid answer, kind of like...
-Jonathan just got an awesome face-paint job.
What do you think?
-Yeah, they -- they want to celebrate,
but they also don't want anything to backfire,
kind of like...
-Ready?
-Four, three, two, one!
[ All scream ]
-Meanwhile, Netflix is looking at YouTube
as a major threat that must be stopped, kind of like...
-Let me see what you have!
-A knife! -No!
[ Laughter ]
-But, hey, even if their numbers come crashing down,
I'm sure they're gonna be okay, kind of like...
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, the media landscape is changing,
but we shouldn't jump to any conclusions, kind of like...
♪♪
-♪ Sail ♪
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
"I'm out!"
Hey, guys, I read that the winner
of the $1.35-billion Mega Millions jackpot
is being sued by his family
for breaking his promise to share the money.
When asked if he's still glad he won the jackpot
after it destroyed his family, the man said, "Hell yeah."
[ Laughter ]
And, finally, in Iowa,
a sheriff's department is being sued
for allegedly spending county-jail funds
on a cotton-candy machine,
an ice-cream machine, and laser tag.
In the sheriff's defense, he just turned 7.
We have a great show, everybody.
Give it up for The Roots! Come on!
♪♪
-♪ Progress manifest, science and film ♪
Anybody try to stop me from comin' through
♪ Like Chaka Khan, I feel for you, unh ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hey! Aw! Thank you very much, everybody. I appreciate it.
Thank you for being here.
We have a great show for you tonight.
You can see him in the new series "Bodkin,"
which is streaming now on Netflix.
Will Forte is here tonight!
[ Cheers and applause ]
The best. -The best.
-Will Forte is unbelievable. Do you have any Forte stories
you remember from "Saturday Night Live"?
-Oh, my God. None that I can tell on TV.
-Yeah. Do you remember when he had a neck beard?
-Yes. And he grew...
-He shaved -- He shaved -- He had a beard.
And then he just shaved it from here to here and stopped here
and had just a neck beard.
Do you remember once he gave me a jigsaw puzzle of his butt?
-[ Laughs ]
-I'm not gonna put this together. Yeah.
Also, guys -- Oh, this is our big --
This is our big Chicago night here at NBC.
This is a big deal. We love these shows.
They are the stars of "Chicago Med," "Fire," and "PD,"
which airs Wednesday nights on NBC.
S. Epatha Merkerson, Miranda Rae Mayo,
and Jason Beghe are joining us! -Come on!
-They're the best shows. We love them.
And we have a great performance tonight from the cast
of "The Great Gatsby" from Broadway!
[ Cheers and applause ]
It's fun. It's great.
Guys, it is time for "Tonight's Show" Hashtags!
Here we go. -♪ Hashtags ♪
♪♪
♪ Hashtags ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Now, we do this thing every week
where I send out a hashtag
and ask you guys to respond to that topic.
And since college graduations are happening,
I sent out the hashtag "gradvice."
Gradvice -Ah.
-Yeah, and I asked you to post some funny
or weird advice to new graduates.
Within a few minutes, it was a trending topic in the US,
so thank you for playing along.
Now I thought I'd share some
of my favorite "gradvice" posts from you guys.
Here we go. This first one is from @RyanBartholomee.
I like him. He says...
[ Laughter, applause ]
That's good advice. Yeah, that was great.
This one's from @SafetyPuppy. -Oh.
-She says...
[ Laughter ]
They're gonna give me a free bumper sticker.
[ Laughs ]
This one's from @JohnNailsj57. He says...
[ Cheers and applause ]
This one's from @UTJonesy. He says...
[ Laughter, applause ]
In Jesus' name. Amen. -[ Laughs ]
What? What? -What? What's going -- What?
I can't talk to...? -[ Laughs ]
-It's good advice.
Uh, this one's from @scotsandlit. She says...
It's like, "Oof. It's cold tonight."
[ Applause ]
This last one is from @TrivWorks. They say...
[ Laughter ]
-There you have it. Those are "Tonight Show" Hashtags.
To check out more of our favorites,
go to TonightShow.com/hashtags.