- [Christian] Today is hike day.
That's a nice graphic.
The plan is for me to go from here to here, but sadly,
along the way, I'm told there are challenges.
Delivered to me with this challenge master, Phoebe.
Yeah, she looks happy now,
but she won't be when I fire her at the end of this hike.
The question is, "Will the adventure king himself,
Christian Hull, who's also a big growth boy,
make it to the top of Mount Coot-tha?"
We haven't even started.
That's a killer spider, Ben.
That will kill me.
I was standing under it and then I felt it do its thing.
(Christian shrieking)
What was that?
Okay, well, we haven't even started.
We have gotten, I'd say, six feet from the entry.
Let's just get this over with.
I just wanna rip this hike off like a bandaid.
What are you doing up there?
- We're gonna get challenges.
(beep)
(beep).
- Ooh.
Sorry, I'm now in a really aggressive mood.
I'm in survival mode.
Let's just get this over with.
(upbeat music)
- Come on, come on, come on.
Challenge number one.
- I already hate this.
I hate this so much.
- You must complete this slide puzzle in 60 seconds.
Do this correctly in 60 seconds,
your reward will be two hiking sticks
to help you along the journey.
- Great.
- Fail, and you must wear this weighted vest.
- No, I'm okay, I'm okay.
Oh, it's really heavy.
60 seconds.
- Yeah, how do I put a timer on my thing?
- Oh, no, no, gimme, gimme.
- Ready and go.
(upbeat music)
- Actual bullshit.
(upbeat music)
- [Phoebe] Tick-tock. - Okay.
- [Phoebe] Tick-tock. - Oh my gosh, here we go.
Oh my gosh.
It's taking me forever.
Come on, who bought this cheap shit?
- [Phoebe] 30 seconds remaining.
- Oh that's bullshit
I want the hiking stick, I'm not wearing the vest.
Where's four?
There's no four.
Oh, there it is.
How do I get three?
- 10, nine, eight.
- Oh no, I did it.
I had done it.
Oh, it jumped out of my hand.
Oh, fuck it's like 50 kilos.
- This is probably like five or 10.
- How long do I have to wear this for, the whole hike?
- No, just until we get to the next challenge.
- Okay, which is how far away?
- A kilometer away.
- No, that's not fair.
- Yeah, you got a light bag, so that is fair.
- Can you get the puzzle then?
Thank you.
Get the puzzle.
(Christian shrieking)
There's a spider there.
Oh, it's a leaf, it's a leaf.
Look, look, look, look, it looks like a spider.
All right, get the puzzle and I'll see you
at the next challenge point.
It's really heavy.
I need to concentrate so don't talk to me.
This is really heavy.
This is stupid.
I'm already carrying an extra 30 kilos than any of you guys.
Don't look at me like that.
Come on, keep up guys, come on.
You're slowing us down.
Can you watch where you swing that stick please?
I just wanna shut off my calves.
Phoebe, stop.
Oh my God.
Oh.
You want that stick.
Oh, (beep) you little bitch, stop it.
Now can you get a good shot of my calves?
And as I walk away.
- [Phoebe] Practicing.
- Shut up, we're getting calf shots.
My shoulders hurt, my back hurts.
How far are we?
- [Phoebe] We're gone.
- We're 270 meters.
(Christian chuckling)
- See the things I have to deal with?
Everyone's like, "Ooh, I'm sure you'd love
to take a walk with Christian,
he's a really nice boss." - Phoebe, pay attention,
there is treacherous terrain here.
- Obviously, he cares if I fall over.
- Yeah, because she had a premonition last night
that she was gonna fall and hurt herself, so you go first.
- I couldn't sleep 'cause I kept having
the recurring dream that at this exact rock here,
that I fell and I gashed open my elbows and my knees.
- Off you go, you lead the way.
(stick whooshing)
That's disappointing.
(upbeat music)
- Checkpoint, checkpoint.
- Ah.
- You may remove.
- Ah, free.
Just read challenge two please.
- This will challenge your knowledge.
You claim to be a thoughtful boss.
- Yes, I am.
Not claim, I am.
Thank you, I am a thoughtful boss.
- Can you tell us each team member's birthday
including your best friend, Trudy's?
- Yes, absolutely, I can absolutely do that.
- So if you get all three correct,
(flabbergasting atmospheric tune)
Who wrote this?
- [Ben] What does it say, Phoebe?
- What do I win?
What do I win?
- Get all three correct and you get to leave Phoebe behind.
- Oh no.
Oh, that's so mean.
(Christian wheezing)
- Fail, and you must hike the next leg handcuffed to Phoebe.
(Christian laughing)
- If I fail, which I won't because I'm a thoughtful,
considerate boss who knows that your birthday
is on June 19th.
Ben's birthday is on December
- Five.
- 11, 11.
And Trudy's birthday,
- [Ben] Your best friend.
- My best of 15 years is May.
Joking, guys, I'm joking.
Of course is May 2nd.
- Incorrect.
- Oh shit, shit.
Stop.
- Stop doing what?
- Being yourself.
Stop being you. - You stop being yourself.
- You stop being yourself. - You stop being yourself.
This way.
- Oh my God. - This way.
- I'm not a dog.
(Christian shushing)
Can we please just enjoy the sound of nature?
- Yes, of course.
Can't you hear the sounds of nature?
- No, I can't.
- Really big spider.
(Phoebe giggling)
- I just wanna hear the sound
of the chainsaw. - The chainsaw.
- I just wanna hear the chainsaw.
(Phoebe muttering)
- [Phoebe] God, what is my job?
- I need you to be quiet.
I get nervous.
- Oh my God, what are you doing?
- Don't touch my hands.
Thank you, let's go.
So we need to work really well as a team here
because I don't want either of us to fall in this mud.
- So you're not gonna push me in?
- No, it's a great idea though.
But no, don't be silly.
- I reckon we get down and we jump over.
- Can we hold hands?
- After you just urinated?
- [Christian] Oh, that's a good point.
Too late now, seal has been broken.
Okay, three, two, one.
We did it.
We did it, didn't we?
We did it. - We is the keyword.
- [Christian] We did it.
(Christian laughing)
All right, we've finally untied ourselves.
Go ahead to the next challenge.
Oh my God.
I'm so tired, I can't go on.
Look how steep that is.
(upbeat music)
- Hurry up.
- [Christian] You know I'm trying.
I walked into a spider's web,
I've rolled my ankle, I'm tired.
(Christian shouting)
The plant life hurts.
- Challenge number three.
Are you ready?
- No, no.
Tone down the excitement.
- Solve this riddle.
Answer the riddle correctly
and guarantee me a delicious treat for you.
- Oh, food, yes please.
- Yeah, it's a treat.
So if you answer incorrectly,
you have to wear this cow costume.
You're so, so hot. - Are you kidding me?
I have to wear these?
(Christian wheezing)
What's the riddle?
- The more I dry, the wetter I get.
- Oh, God, I wonder what the answer to that riddle
that I definitely have no idea.
My guess is a towel.
- [Phoebe] But how did you know that?
- [Christian] That's the easiest riddle.
- [Phoebe] Correct.
- Yay, treats, give me the food.
- [Phoebe] Before I do.
- If you answer correctly.
Please let this be a voucher for a chairlift or something.
Congratulations, here is another riddle smarty pants
if you can correctly answer this riddle,
Phoebe will have to wear the cow costume.
- I didn't sign up for that.
When did you do start throwing in things like this?
- [Ben] You won't get it, don't worry.
- What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?
Are you surprised that I got the answer?
Silence.
It was silence and I knew it.
You look so stupid.
Suddenly, I'm really, really enjoying myself.
I just want you to know I'm a kind and considerate boss.
'cause I won these
Ben, would you like some?
- [Ben] Thank you.
- She's really turned into a cow.
No, sorry, sorry can't help you.
Busy eating chips.
Let's go.
Come on, come on Phoebe.
You really need to get a move on (laughs hysterically).
Oh, I'm loving this.
The other disappointment I have for you moving slowly
moving slowly (laughs hysterically).
God, she's really milking this, isn't she?
(laughs loudly)
- [Ben] See, we don't have a cow?
(indistinct)
- God fill that breeze, Phoebe.
It's really nice.
I feel really bad.
- My God.
- I think we should let it.
You can take it off.
You're welcome.
- [Phoebe] Oh guys, I actually can't lift my leg up
'cause it's stuck.
- Well, hurry up.
- [Phoebe] I'm alone and joking though.
- [Christian] Take it off.
I said you to take it off.
- [Phoebe] What here and pull down the slip bling.
- Well, that's not my fault.
- [Phoebe] I mean it is,
you're the one that got the answer correct?
- Yes 'cause I'm smart and a kind and considerate boss.
- [Phoebe] I need your help.
- No (laughs loudly)
Is that sweat or water?
Oh my God your back is dread (retching).
- I told really hot and sweaty, help.
- I am.
- I'm stuck.
I almost fell over.
I forgot my feet.
- When you fall down no on me, please.
Why is my zipper on my hundred dollars bag broken?
And why are there rocks in here?
The next open bit where,
why are you putting rocks in my back?
(Christian coughs)
I'm sure I just I breathed in a (indistinct).
This is the (indistinct)
So for the next part of the video,
we're just gonna have a bit of a quiet moment.
We're gonna hike to the top and then we're gonna get
to that stunning view and then we can just have a great time
and everything will be great.
Thank Christ.
The view from here is (clicks) the only reason
why I'm pushing forward.
Let's do it.
(relaxing music)
It's easier if you gonna move forward.
(bright music)
(upbeat music)
- [Phoebe] Challenge number four,
ooh, this is a good one?
- Is it get a helicopter and get the hell outta here?
- Can you correctly tell us,
- I don't feel well, sorry, go on.
- Can you correctly tell us what your follow account
on Facebook is?
If you get this correctly,
you will get to experience the breathtaking view
at top of Mount Coot-tha with a full cheese platter
and a glass of champagne and binoculars.
- Oh.
- How if you fail to?
- Yes.
- If you fail for this correctly
then you can only, you have to hike all the way to the top
and you're only allowed to look at the view
through these glasses.
- What are these?
- These make everything look like a kaleidoscope.
So you can't even see the view.
(Christian laughs)
- Oh, oh they make me nauseous.
Oh no.
- The time has come.
- 1,228,447.
- Bye bye.
- Oh that's bullshit.
That is where's my-
- 1,263,425 - No, no.
(upbeat music)
- [Christian] Am I looking at it?
They're fucked up.
And now I feel nauseous.
I just need to hold.
Wow, it really looks so confusing.
I can't see anything other than dizzy.
I feel dizzy.
Wow, phoebe you're just, you're really missing out.
You're missing out Phoebe.
The view's so pretty.
God, poor thing.
I'm faking it 'cause I can't get to the top.
So I just be gonna be wrong with the footage (laughs).
- [Ben] You're so close too.
- Now I have to go back down.
It's really dangerous.
I'm really scared.
I hate this so much.