Kofi Kingston won! Seth Rollins won! Becky Lynch won… even though the finish looked
like it was botched! But what did it cost? ...everything.
I’m a very tired Oli Davis, press the thumbs up button, give us a subscribe and answer
our question of the day in the comments down below: Was the Ronda Rousey finish botched
[06]? Because I’ll be replying to people FROM OUTTA NOWHERE!
Also vote in the poll above my head to give your rating for the show, where you can choose
from: Best of Both Worlds, Great Per View, Thumbs in the Middle, Meh Per View and Worst
of Both Worlds. While I review all NINE HUNDRED HOURS of the Longest Show of them All WrestleMania
35.
The kickoff show kicked off WrestleMania’s theme this year: titles changing hands. As
before you could even get over Pat McAfee wearing a suit with shorts - or a skirt? - Tony
Nese beat Cruiserweight Champion Buddy Murphy in a shock victory.
The WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal came next, where all the main roster ladies not
booked on the main show just walked out in one big entrance. Including Ember Moon in
a rather lacklustre return from injury. The Battle Royal was pretty sloppy at the
start, but got surprisingly fun at the end, including Moon getting a great showing, Lana
dressed as Wonder Oli, I mean Wonder Woman, and an inspired final three of Sarah Logan,
Asuka and Sonya Deville - where Logan won! They’re pushing Sarah Logan...right over
the top rope when Carmella reveals she never got eliminated.
Some people say Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder vs the Revival had no build. That’s incorrect.
There was a bit of build, it was just three months ago.
It’s a shame, because this match got really good when Hawkins finally hot tagged in, leading
to a surprise roll-up on Scott Dawson to end his losing streak and become the new Raw tag
team champions. Revival to AEW confirmed.
Luke Harper also just randomly returned from injury walking out for the Memorial Giant
the Andre Royal Battle. SNL’s Colin Jost and Michael Che hid under the ring while everyone
else got eliminated - including Ali potentially injuring himself by smashing his face on the
commentary desk - and appeared at the end for a ‘bit’ with Braun Strowman and Jost’s
therapist / quite obviously a wrestler wearing a suit. Braun won in the end making it his
second pointless rumble match win! Maybe your trophy can wear your Greatest Rumble belt.
We’re two hours in. Only six more to go with the main show!
Alexa Bliss’ first act as WrestleMania host is… to introduce another WrestleMania host
- Hulk Hogan! Yay, he’s a big sta-...wait, wasn’t there a controve-
No time to think about that as Paul Heyman’s walking down to the ring. Because Brock Lesnar
isn’t hanging around if he’s not in the main event, the Universal title match is going
to happen right now! This was a great way to kick off the main
card, with Brock destroying Seth Rollins around the ring. But despite all the suplexes, the
F5s, the surprise match placing, Seth had Brock’s number: his testicles. Building
on the angle from Monday’s Raw, Rollins, fighting for the morally good, hit a low blow
and three curbstomps on Lesnar for the win. I love that Seth won, but I don’t think
that fits his babyface character, and it would’ve been more effective to just beat Brock clean.
It’s not like he needs protecti-oh God, he’s winning the belt back next month.
AJ Styles and Randy Orton put on an excellent match next, mainly because Randy actually
cared for a change. He wrestled with an extra ferocity - with headbutts, uppercuts and an
amazing high angle superplex. AJ beat him in the end, though.
Then Lacey Evans walked onstage and then back off it. At least that’s out the way!
The Usos were one of the few acts to retain their titles next in a fun four-way against
Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev, The Bar, and well-known, established tag team Ricochet
and Aleister Black. This was a very fun 10 minute match, the highlight being an extended
Cesaro swing on Ricochet while Sheamus overhand clubbed everyone on the apron. This match
was also where I officially came last in WrestleLeague Season 1, meaning I’ll be making a music
video of HBK’s entrance song Sexy Boy soon. Because I’m just a Sexy Oli.
Just when you’re worried WrestleMania might only be an enjoyable night of very good in-ring
wrestling, Shane McMahon and The Miz put on arguably Sports Entertainment of the night.
I was very much sports entertained. And it’s mainly because of this guy, Miz
Dad, who tried to confront Shane, but suffered death by potatoes.
This unleashed fury Miz, and him and Shane brawled around the arena, though the entire
foreign commentary buffet table, up and over onto a golf cart buggy and then a huge suplex
off a filming platform. But because Shane landed on top of Miz, McMahon won! This was
genuinely so much fun. Now someone please check on Miz Dad.
The women’s four-way tag couldn’t follow them, unfortunately, and they had the weakest
match on the card up until this point. But the IIconics won, though, stealing Beth Phoenix’s
win, so that’s something that’s happening!
Then came the emotional highpoint of the card - Kofi Kingston vs Daniel Bryan [30]. Kofi
easily got the biggest reaction of the entire show, which is what happens when WWE go with
crowd momentum, and the babyface roster was brilliantly shown backstage cheering him on.
The match itself was terrifically worked, with Bryan always having a submission answer
to Kofi’s comebacks… until he didn’t, when the New Day took out Rowan on the outside
and Kingston hit the Trouble in Paradise for the clean win.
Everyone, us included, went legit wholesome nuts, with fans literally jumping up and down
with joy and the New Day crying in the ring . If only WWE.com didn’t release Kofi’s
“There’s a New Champ, yes there is” t-shirt on their website mid-way through the
match, or rather obviously have the new title belt in shot by the announcer’s desk. You’re
exposing the business, New Day.
And that’s where we all decided that’s enough wrestling. Problem was, there were
four hours left. Which included: SNL hosts Che and Rost getting butt examined
by Kevin Nash and Scott Hall dressed as doctors in a thing that actually happened!
Samoa Joe choking out Rey Mysterio in 1 minute to retain his US title.
The crowd barely reacting to Roman Reigns beating Drew McIntyre.
Ron Simmons saying Damn at the B Team.
And Elias playing the drums, then playing the piano, then also appearing on the stage
with a guitar while also still playing the drums and the piano, and then all the Elias’
playing a song together. Which was interrupted by a video package hyping
the debut of Babe Ruth, that actually introduced Doctor of Thuganomics-era John Cena, who did
a ‘rap’. And by ‘rap’, I mean ‘a rhyming piece of spoken word’.
I’ve got to be honest, I’m not entirely sure any of that happened because I could’ve
just passed out and I’d eaten a lot of pizza during the women’s tag match.
Even though Batista tripped over the 2nd rope when he got in the ring, he still had a cooler
entrance than Triple H, who’s annual WrestleMania entrance midlife crisis was Mad Max themed
this year. A franchise that’s about three years from relevancy.
They had a 25 minute match that would’ve been much better in just 15. The memorable
spots were there - Triple H plucking out Batista’s nose ring, the spear through the commentary
desk and a powerbomb on the steps - but it needed to be punchier to keep the tired audience’s
attention. Ric Flair gave Trips the sledgehammer to pick up the win. It was great having you
back, Dave.
Apart from the length, this next match was WrestleMania’s only major negative. Baron
Corbin beat Kurt Angle.] That was the match. That was the match that
happened. It was disappointing. It was awkward. Kurt missed a moonsault, and Baron hit the
End of Days. Angle put over a guy on the way out, which is how it should be - but Kurt’s
entire second WWE run has been a complete waste, and this was the little bit of corn
on top of a large pile of crap. It’s sad. It’s damn sad.
Finn Balor looked great as the Demon as always, but credit must also go to Bobb-eye Lashley
with his contact lenses and far more vicious wrestling style. The Demon won with the Coup
de Grace.
Alexa Bliss announced the totally, 100% legit attendance figure of 82,256, and then R-Truth
and Carmella did a dance break to try wake them all up because it’s finally time, after
seven hours that absolutely flew by, for the main event…
Charlotte Flair came to the arena in a helicopter, referencing her father’s Great American
Bash entrance from 1986. Ronda Rousey got Joan Jett and the Blackhearts to play her
out live. And Becky Lynch… just walked down the ring actually. Which was all she had to
do, as it woke up the crowd for the first real sustained time since the Kofi match.
They proceeded to have a pretty decent triple threat. It was a bit sloppy or stagey at times,
but Ronda screaming ‘bitch’ at Becky, Charlotte, the crowd and a table that had
been set up in the ring covered that rather well.
Rousey’s heel fire was brilliant, unloading knees and punches on both Lynch and Flair,
and when it finally came down to a Becky vs Ronda face off, the match levelled up in drama.
They had a great strike exchange, Ronda hit a jumping knee, she rolled through for the
Piper’s Pit, which Becky reversed into a crucifix pin… and she won the match.
It was a really weird ending, especially as Ronda actually had her shoulders up as the
referee counted the pin. There’s two main possibilities here - either
this was the planned finish, giving WWE a reason to set up a Ronda vs Becky rematch,
or the pin was botched, and the referee wasn’t meant to count.
Either way, it came off as a flat end to an otherwise enjoyable match, and a rather limp
way for Becky to win both titles.
Overall this is possibly one of the best WrestleManias WWE have ever put on - from the babyface trio
of Seth, Kofi and Lynch winning, to the surprisingly awesome McMahon vs Miz match. But the show
was three hours too long, and draining the crowd’s energy that much affected the experience.
Nothing reached the highs after Kofi’s title win midway through, because the crowd were
too tired. It’s both a totally obvious and completely avoidable mistake, so WrestleMania
35 gets a Great Per View.
Watch me, Luke and Laurie play WWE 2K19 on our sister channel ScreenStalker by clicking
the video on the right! And find out all the details on Bret Hart being attacked at the
Hall of Fame. I’ve been Oli Davis, and that was wrestling.