Heya playa, have you ever avoided approaching and starting a conversation with someone that you like
because you didn't really know how to carry that conversation forward and where to properly end it?
Well, I figured out the perfect thing to say during the conversation so that if you don't
know what to talk about you have the perfect escape plan without things getting awkward.
One of the major challenges with starting a conversation is that you're also going
to have to end it so you can work up the courage to go up to them and say hi
but what do you say at the end of it all?
"Hey, I want to get your opinion on something. Which movie series do you like more,
Harry Potter or the Marvel movies?"
"Oh um I think I'll go with Harry Potter."
"Harry Potter? Really? Okay,
hold on. I need to explain to you why Marvel movies are so much better. "
"Oh okay"
"Go back to the original lineage and storyline,
it tells a complete story across the 22 films originally starting with Iron Man."
"Oh boy what did I get myself into here? This guy looks like he's never gonna stop talking.
Oh man, I got things to do, how do I get out of this conversation? Do I interrupt
him? Is that rude? Do I just wait till it finishes talking? I really don't know..."
Just walking up to someone and starting a conversation does take a lot of courage but
you're not setting yourself up in the best possible way for them to
feel comfortable talking to you which is why you need to start using time constraints.
When you walk up to someone and start a conversation, let them know that you
have to head out in just a few minutes but you wanted to get their quick opinion on something.
What this signals is that you're interested in what they have to say and who they are as
a person but you're not going to keep them there talking forever.
There's not going to be this awkwardness at the end of the conversation because
you have something to do and that's going to be your reason for ending it.
A few simple examples of different time constraints that you can start using are
"I'm on my way to go meet up with a friend",
"I'm heading out to class" or "I'm going to grab something to eat".
This gives context to you approaching that person and lets them know where you stand
and approximately gives an idea of how long the two of you will be talking.
"Hey, I wanted to ask you a quick question. I'm going to meet up with a friend of mine and
we're going to figure out something to eat but what's a good place to grab food around here?"
"Oh um there's a pizza place like two blocks down.
They have the best pizza! You have to check it out!"
"The best pizza? Whoa, that's a pretty strong
recommendation! Is pizza like one of your favorite foods?"
"Oh my god, you have no clue! I'm like a pizza fiend. When you get in there
order the pepperoni slice. But yeah, like me and pizza we're like this."
Now the key here is once you establish your time constraint and you've asked that opening question
go deeper into the conversation.
Ask them follow-up questions.
Learn more about their interests and their hobbies.
Get them to open up more and most likely they will because they know
that you are not going to be there and just linger around.
They know that you're there for a set period of time so they might feel more open to sharing.
Plus, the major benefit here if you run out of things to say and you just don't
know how to keep talking to them you can always go back to your time constraint.
Let them know "Well it was nice talking to you but i'm gonna go meet up with my friend" or
"I gotta head to class now but I really enjoyed this conversation".
Now what if the two you are vibing, you're getting along everything's going great, but they call
you out and say something like "Wait a minute. Didn't you have to go meet up with your friend?".
Do you just abandon the time constraint and pretend it never happened?
No.
You stick to the time constraint but you find a way to work it into
the conversation so that it works in your favor.
The simple way to do this is to just flirt with them as you're wrapping things up.
You might want to say something like "Wow thanks for reminding me. I got so lost in
our conversation, you're just such an awesome person. We definitely need to do this again."
From there you can ask for their number, you can ask them out, take it wherever you need
to take it but what this is going to show them is that you're a person of your word.
You stick to the things that you commit yourself to and you're not
willing to just break them for a random stranger that you met.
"So pizza, ice cream, I don't even want to ask what else. If we ever
went out I know exactly where I would take you."
"Well, maybe but didn't you say you have to go meet up with your friend?"
"That's a good point. You know what let me text my friend really quick right now and let him
know I'm going to be a few minutes late because I have to ask this super cute girl for her number.
Question is, will she give it to me?"
Things might not always be so smooth in the beginning.
It might take some time and practice using time constraints in conversation
so that you can feel more comfortable talking to that person and they can
feel more comfortable opening up to you and knowing that the conversation is limited so
you both can make the most time of what you have together.
You also might be thinking, how do I flirt with them or how do I ask them
for their number which are two questions that I answer in the videos linked on the screen now.
Check them out guys and i'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.