I went through a phase of being really negative when I was younger. Everything
was wrong! Nothing was right! And it nearly ruined my life! I caught myself
and shifted, but you know, the antidote isn't blind optimism either. Here's how
I fixed my negative mindset. Let's go! Now point one. Let's start with what's
good about a negativity bias. What? Good? Yeah! You see there is such a
thing as a healthy pessimism. Now that's not actually negativity as
such. It's a healthy respect for the fact that things might not be as
easy as they seem, that things can go wrong if we don't take care, and
that things might not always go as well as we expect that they might. In fact
I owe some excellent results to the extra work and the extra vigilance
that came from having a healthy respect for what might go wrong. By the way,
I have to apologize, I'm recording this on a really hot day! But,
point two, an excessive focus on what can go wrong can disintegrate in
having a negative focus; at looking at the world through a narrow telescope
of negativity, especially if we think we're going to get some bad outcomes
and then we DO get some bad outcomes! When you're constantly expecting the
worst and you fulfill your own prophecies, because, point three, we
see more of what we look for, so if you're conditioned to look for the
negative in everything, you'll see the negative in everything. It's
like if you're looking for a certain kind of car, then all of a sudden it
seems like every other car on the road is that car! So the first
action point is not to lose that healthy respect for what could go
wrong, because that can serve you, but to condition yourself to look for the
positives in life, and appreciating what you have achieved rather than
obsessing over what you haven't. Some people talk about this as seeing
the glass half full rather than seeing the glass half empty! And on that,
I've got a joke for you. The optimist says the glass is half full, the
pessimist says the glass is half empty, and the engineer says the
glass is twice as big as it needed to be! Now if you're enjoying this
video so far do give it a thumbs up and don't forget to subscribe to the
channel and click the notifications bell so you'll get notified when more content
like this arrives. Now point four is to correct your perspective. If you think
about all the experiences of life, they could range from 0 which is terrible
all the way to 100, which is beyond amazing. And the truth of the matter is
that 98% of our life's experiences will exist within that narrow band in the
middle between 49 and 51. But we polarize, which means whatever's at 49
we experience it as if it's 0, and whatever's 51 we experience it as if
it's 100. It's like movies. Most movies are in that 49 to 51 range but the
movies at 49, they're terrible, those at 51 are beyond amazing! So the
second action point is to catch yourself when you're polarizing your
experience and put it back into that 49 to 51 box. Now point five is to tell
yourself the truth about where you are relative to your goals. You see we can
fall for a blind optimism where we just assume everything will turn out and we
don't have to take any particular care. And there's also a delusional positivity,
where we tell ourselves everything is wonderful when it actually isn't. You see
positive energy isn't about self-delusion, it's about having your eye on the goal,
and having faith in your ability, and, yes, optimism too, just not blind
excessive optimism, but mostly it's about having the habit of taking the most
positive action available at every juncture. And taking it with energy and
enthusiasm. It's about not being defeated by
setbacks. It's about positive navigation towards that goal, and you can't navigate
well if you're not being truthful about where you are relative to the goal!
Think of it like sports. In sports, positivity isn't about pretending you're
winning when you're not winning. It's about playing positively so that no
matter what the score is right now, I'm always playing the best move I can,
no matter what setbacks I've had, no matter how difficult it is, no matter
what the circumstances are. As opposed to playing negatively and self-destructively,
because people don't want to be around that. And, point six, playing positively
becomes easier when we're not coming from fear, ego, and insecurity. In other words
when we're coming from groundedness and equanimity. And if you want to learn more
about groundedness and equanimity then this video up here is going to help you.
And so the third action point is to learn the habit of being honest with yourself
about where you are relative to your goals and developing the habit of choosing the
most positive action at every juncture, and taking the action with energy
and enthusiasm, because people DO want to be around that! And by the way sometimes
the most positive action is to give yourself a break and to show yourself
some compassion and let yourself off the hook a bit now to build on this I recommend
that you watch this video here, but if you've already watched that, then try this video
down here instead. This is steve wishing you health and happiness and i'll see you next
week.