• From household items shoved up people’s rectums to ¬¬¬¬¬¬a puppy that swallowed
a serrated knife, we count twelve of the strangest objects that have turned up in x-rays!
12 – Delayed Proposal, • A New Mexican man hoping to walk the plank
with his long-term girlfriend planned a foolproof marriage proposal.
He invited her to her favourite café and hid the engagement ring in her milkshake.
• Unfortunately for him, the future Mrs Idiot was particularly thirsty for milkshakes
that day and ended up ingesting the ring and requiring an x-ray.
• The man’s proposal had to be delayed until the ring completed its gross journey,
but, hey, they got there in the end.
There’s a story for the grandkids. 11 – Wrong Incision,
• Australian Patricia Skinner suffered the pointy end of medical incompetency in 2002
when a surgeon left a pair of surgical scissors inside her stomach after routine bowel polyps
surgery.
• Skinner was in agony for eighteen months and compared the pain she felt when driving
over speed bumps to being kicked in the stomach with steel-capped boots.
• Medical staff refused to hear her complaints because they were sure it was ordinary post-surgery
pain and that she was exaggerating.
Two eventual x-rays were ran because they didn’t believe what they were seeing the
first time.
• During those eighteen months, the scissors had travelled from her abdomen to her coccyx,
and had become overgrown with her body tissue.
Operating surgeons had to remove a chunk of her bowel to get them out.
Gross.
10 – Butt Fly Spray, • This unidentified male patient deserves
props for trying to spice up his sex life, but he probably should’ve sprung for an
actual safety tested sex toy, rather than picking up the nearest household object – in
this case, fly spray.
• After inserting the cylindrical can into his own rectum, the patient was admitted into
an operating room for a colostomy.
• Red-faced and under general anaesthesia, a dilatation of the anal sphincter was performed
and the spray can was safely retrieved.
High-fives all around.
Any bugs living up his ass would’ve got a huge shock.
9 – Ass Egg, • Which came first?
The chicken, the egg, or this weird deviant who managed to force a chicken egg where no
chicken egg had gone before.
• Actually, unlike the previous entry, this patient didn’t engage in egg-to-ass self-relations
for any sexual reason.
She was a Middle-Eastern woman in her sixties who, according to village tradition, inserted
an egg into her rectum as a form of palliative treatment.
• Apparently, this is thought to ease discomforts when there’s no medical alternatives around.
I think it’ll catch on.
8 – Nail in Head, • No, this isn’t what happens when you
piss off the Tooth Fairy; it’s a building site incident that went horribly, horribly
wrong.
• Apparently Colorado construction worker Patrick Lawler thought the pain he was experiencing
was just a regular toothache.
Imagine his dentist’s surprise when a four-inch nail was found passing from the roof of his
mouth all the way up into his brain.
‘Dianne … Cancel my 2.30.’
• Other than some blurred vision, Patrick experienced no other problems, so did nothing
about it for six days.
• Retracing his week, he recalled how a nail gun he’d used had backfired, firing
a nail into a nearby piece of wood.
Although he hadn’t realised at the time, a second nail had also fired, lodging about
an inch and a half into his brain and narrowly missing his eye.
7 – Puppy Swallows Knife, • Given the opportunity, babies will eat
anything and it looks like puppies are just the same.
I’m not sure what compelled it to do so, but this St. Bernard pup decided to ingest
an entire thirteen-inch serrated knife … Maybe it was covered in peanut butter or something.
• The poor Floridian pup had the blade lodged between its stomach and esophageus for almost
four days before its owner finally took it in for an x-ray.
Surgery was performed and the knife was successfully removed.
No puppies hurt in the making of this video!
• After the close call, the puppy reassessed its diet and has now switched to smooth-edged
spoons. 6 – Toothpick Scissors,
• Yes, that’s a pair of scissors in this person’s throat, and no, it isn’t some
sword swallowing stunt gone wrong.
Apparently this Chinese citizen needed a toothpick after their meal, but since none were on hand
they used scissors instead.
• It was at this moment that the person’s hilarious friend decided to tell a joke.
It must have been a real knee-slapper because the person holding the scissors laughed so
laugh they swallowed the scissors whole.
• Time for a quick PSA.
Everyone, you shouldn’t run with scissors, or put them inside your body.
Like, seriously, if humanity gets any dumber we’re going to have start wearing bubble
wrap suits whenever we step outside.
5 – Vibrator and Salad Tongs, • You know those times when you feel frisky
but you’re alone, or conventional person-to-person sex just isn’t doing it for you anymore?
This unknown male patient sure does, which is probably why his instinct was to reach
for his roommate’s vibrator.
• As you can see, he obviously took his experiment too far and probably should’ve
attached a piece of string to the end.
Desperate to retrieve the swallowed-up sex toy, he reached for the nearest utensil he
could find: a pair of salad tongs.
Unfortunately, his rectum was insatiably hungry that day and he ended up losing the salad
tongs as well.
What a serious case of the Mondays!
• Patients caught in situations like this often delay their inevitable trip to the ER
because they’re embarrassed.
However, this guy must’ve quickly realised his situation was hopeless.
4 – Python Eats Electric Blanket, • A twelve-foot Burmese python from Idaho
grew tired of eating mice and disobedient children, so decided to have a go at his owner’s
delicious-looking queen-sized electric blanket.
• The owner kept the blanket inside the python’s cage for warmth, and it’s thought
the snake may have gotten confused during its rabbit dinner.
It probably realised its mistake halfway through, but was like, ah well, I’ve come this far
… It even ate the electrical chord and control box.
• Life-saving surgery commenced and the snake lives on … possibly to eat a lamp
or small side table come next feeding time.
3 – Cement Enema, • Proving there’s no depths to how depraved
and stupid the human race can be, two homosexual men redefined bizarre by pouring liquid cement
into the other’s anus during a kinky sex session.
• Of course, the funnelled-in cement didn’t stay liquid for long.
When it hardened – nope, I will rise above that pun – it turned into a huge mass of
cement and required surgery to remove.
• I’m not sure what other possible outcome they expected, but, hey, after the weeks of
shitting blood were over, I’m sure they looked back fondly on the experience.
Tick that one off the bucket list!
2 – Cobblestones Swallowed During Lovers’ Tiff,
• A woman in China went to downright extreme measures to get her boyfriend’s attention
during an argument.
She was so upset she swallowed an impressive twenty cobblestones in a sort of bizarre attention-seeking
protest.
• The stones knocked about inside of her for awhile.
She thought eating and drinking would flush the stones out, but was very wrong.
Like expensive surgery wrong.
• Oh well.
Good practice for when these dysfunctional idiots have kids.
1 – Live Ammo Round in Butt, • A London WW2 veteran who suffered terrible
haemorrhoids used a live artillery shell to push them up into his rectum.
Probably would’ve been safer to take a cue from the salad tong guy, but I guess he had
to use whatever was on hand.
• He did this a few times until one day he pushed it too far and the ammo became stuck
in his anus.
He was rushed to the ER to get it removed – yep, that’s a Code Brown – and admitted
the shell was live and that it could explode at any moment.
• An actual bomb squad had to be brought in to assist in the shell’s removal.
I’m sure they all washed their hands afterwards and laughed about it over cake.