What is good everyone, it’s ya boy Motoki. How you doing, you good? I’m good.
Today you’re joining me in the kitchen because I have a very special video in store for you,
oh yeah
As you guys can tell from the title already, we’re getting baked. No no no we’re
not smoking weed okay. We’re going to be smoking crystal meth instead.
I’m kidding of course okay..
Maybe another video.
Okay but for real guys, today, we are baking a
cake. This cake is going to be my favorite flavor, vanilla. And it is going to be absolutely
delightful. Maybe chocolate is your favorite flavor, and that’s great and all, it’s just..
you’re wrong.
Vanilla is clearly the best, and today I’m gonna prove that.
Oh and I’m not using any of that premade cake mix bullsh*t okay no no no. I don’t
f*ck with that. We’re making a cake entirely from scratch..
Get it? Scratch? Kill me now.
The first step whenever cooking or baking is to make sure you’re wearing the proper attire.
And it looks like I’m going to have to change. I’ll be right back.
Ahhhh itsa me Motokioli a mama mia, just kidding, it was me all along you got pranked.
Hi, Gordon Ramsey? Yeah. There’s a new chef in town and I’m coming for you b*tch.
Okay enough chit chat, it's time, to get baked.
Ohh yeaahhh!!!!
First, we have to preheat the oven.
Let’s set the temperature to 420 degrees.
Oh and be sure to check
inside the oven to make sure that there’s nothing left behind from the last time you we’re cooking…
Kids...
So I've assembled all the ingredients. I’m going to be using
a recipe that my family has been using for generations and generations.
No not really I just found some shit online.
Now I just want to say if any of you are thinking Motoki, you’re a guy and guys don’t know how to cook.
Well listen here you sexist piece of shit.
You’re probably right, but I’m still going to try my best.
I’m taking this off, ya’ll got be pissed off. Take a bowl and mix together the butter and sugar. This cake,
butter be good you know what I’m saying..
There goes all my subscribers.
One cup of sugar..
Wait a second, how the f*ck am I supposed to know which cup to use?
I’m just kidding okay, I’m not a f*cking idiot. There you go. Let’s mix this bad boy up.
Hey everyone my name is Motoki, and you’re watching Disney channel.
Next, put in the eggs one at a time.
Psh one at a time? Please. Watch and learn boys and girls.
Haha oh yeah.
Ah f*ck, there are egg shells everywhere.
Let’s add that vanilla extract.
Now we add this sh*t.
Fun little fact for you if you’re running low on cocaine you can actually use flour instead.
OH YEAH!
I’m such a great influence on kids man.
Let’s add that baking powder.
I must say it’s looking pretty good. Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray where the f*ck you at? Now stir
in the milk. We’re going to be using almond milk because I’m lactose intolerant and
I don’t feel like sh*tting myself. Check this out.
Ohhhh. Mmm.
Wait guys, listen to this.
Mmm just how I like it. Mix until smooth. Well, I’d say we’re almost there.
Let me just grab by special mixer. Where did I put that thing. Ah, there it is.
I just love cooking, sometimes you’re having a bad day and you can just go home and beat your batter.
Now I’m just going to add my secret ingredient. Oh yeah. Well, I think we’re done here.
Let’s grease this pan up. I’m using butter but you can use spray, oil, lube.. Ohh yeah.
Woo that’s hot. Okay so while that’s in the oven I’m gonna go ahead and start on
the second cake. I wanna make this legit and do like a double layer cake. Now you might
be thinking, Motoki, why didn’t you just double the ingredients the first time you
we’re making a cake. Well, that would make a lot of sense, but I didn’t so I don’t
want to f*cking hear it. So instead of you guys watching that whole process again, how
about we cut to a little montage
Well, that was fun. 3, 2, 1, oh yeah.
Ohhh!
Not too bad huh?
Ta-da! Round two baby, yeah! So while that’s baking in the oven I’m gonna
start on the icing. Powdered sugar, butter, vanilla, milk.
Ohh, I should probably test this icing to make sure that’s it’s good.
Ah you know what? I didn't even taste it that time so I should probably try it again.
Ah you know what? I should probably try it one more time, to make sure it’s not poisonous or something like that right?
I don’t know how to level cakes or whatever, but I’ll give it a shot. Well this is working, I think..
until I cut my hand off. Well, could be worse. Mm, tastes like cake.
Just adding a layer of icing here. I think this is missing a bit of flavor huh don’t you think? Don't worry I know just the thing.
Babalababalabah.
little straw berry jam! That’s my jam!
End my misery please
I bet this is going to be berry good.
Here we go. Let’s ice this baby up.
♪ Ice ice baby. Alright stop, collaborate and listen. ♪
You know what, I’m surprised at how easy this was. I might even say, it
was a piece of cake.
It’s a little messy but hey, could be worse. I added some food
coloring to the icing so that I can do a little decorating. I’m not going to show you what
I’m drawing though, because it has to surprise. Oh, okay.. alright. Are you ready, for the
big reveal? You guys probably thought I did something stupid like draw a penis or something
like that. Well jokes on you.. because I drew two penises, that’s right.
♪They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine, and you’re not really fine
but you just can’t get into it because they would never understand♪
Well… that happened.
It’s okay though, I can still fix this yeah. Just give me one second and I’ll be right
back. Oh look what I have here? The cake that I made, and didn’t buy from the store..
Happy birthday to you. Well everyone, I think that’s it for this video. If you enjoyed
it, feel free to like, comment, maybe even subscribe, I don’t know call me crazy. I’ll
see you all next, Motoki Monday.