[laughter]
We're Chip and Joanna Gaines.
We take the worst house in the best neighborhood-
and turn it into our clients dream home.
Do you have the guts to take on a fixer-upper?
We're here today to reno the Gillibrand house.
Now the Gillibrand's are a real special family.
Dale Gillibrand suffers from IBS,
PTSD, UCPPS, UTI, URI, VCVFS,
and crabs.
And his wife Gadget who
formerly his own tumor that had removed and jarred
now suffers from crippling
anxiety, IBS, and cranklin'.
So we're real excited to be able to do something nice
for them by fixing up their house.
Now to fully redo the interior and exterior of
this 4-bedroom 5-bathroom 6,000 square foot house we have about
a 500 dollar budget,
which should be more than enough.
Oh man I am so excited!
I'm like a dog about to be let out of his cage -
(singing) Who let the dogs out?
Uh you're 'spose to just -
Nope!
Chip? Bud?
Oh hey babe.
What have you been up to?
Oh babe I just spent the last six hours
vintage globe shopping. Hardest job in the world.
Wait.
Hold on. Okay.
Why, why is the bedroom not done?
You've had two hours and thirty-three--
thirty-four! Minutes to finish it. So?
Oh well, we-we ran into a couple issues I mean first I fell doing my ceiling fan impression-
Wooooah Woooah Woooah
Oh yeah!
And I don't know why but my left hand has been hurting me all day
That's cause you're hammering through it.
Oop. Yep. That'd do it.
Today we're bringing by the kids to help us finish up the house.
They love helping.
Oh man I love our kids! We got so much in common.
I really got that childlike spirit - and mind!
Literally.
My doctor says my brain's the same size as the average
six year old's so me and the kids get along real good!
Jojo.
Jojo look.
Joey.
Jojo look!
Babe.
Babe look. Ahehe.
It's time to show the Gillibrands their new house.
The fixer-upper is finally ready,
and I'm not talking about the house.
(yelps in pain)
I swear to God if you're even capable of having
something that resembles a thought in that sawdust clogged child-sized brain of
yours and it is not of me being the most angelic creature on God's green earth I
am gonna have you drywalled into a house and
you will never be heard from again.
She's a hoot.
So, Mr. and Mrs. Gillibrand, are you ready to see your fixer-upper?
[Door thuds]
What do you guys think?
This is awful! Y-you just destroyed my house.
What did you do?
My house! My-
[angelic choir]
[deep drum]
[angelic choir]
[angelic female solo]
I think they loved it.
Oh me too.
Good job babe.
Aw you too babe.
oh...
Mmm