Though fans take Martha Stewart's advice on cooking, gardening, hosting,
and housekeeping as gospel, her private life is possibly even more fascinating — and, at times,
it's put her through hell. Though she seems to always come out on top,
that doesn't mean things have been all pies and rainbows.
Before becoming a household name, Martha Stewart was born Martha Kostyra to Martha
and Edward Kostyra in Jersey City. She took the last name Stewart when she married Andrew Stewart
in 1961. The pair met on a blind date when she was working as a model, and he was studying law. She
was only 19, and he was 23 when they exchanged vows. They stayed married from 1961 to 1990,
having their only child, Alexis Stewart, in 1965. During that time, Martha started to build
her lifestyle empire, but their union was less idyllic than the glossy image they projected.
In an unauthorized biography on the domestic goddess,
"Just Desserts," Jerry Oppenheimer asserted they had a rocky relationship and that
Martha treated Andrew badly. A source close to the couple told Oppenheimer:
"Martha would start arguments over the most trivial subjects,
and they would go on and on and on. There were times when there was utter and complete
tension and long hostility-filled silences between them that you could cut with a knife."
On top of all those arguments, the couple was reportedly unfaithful to each other. A friend of
the couple claimed to have overheard an argument between the two and recalled to Oppenheimer:
"The subject of affairs came up ... Martha asked Andy for details, but he was reluctant
to tell her anything other than to say yes, he had done that, and so had she."
After years of marital difficulty, Martha and Andrew Stewart separated in 1987 and filed for
divorce in 1990. Although their relationship wasn't perfect, Martha took the ending hard.
After their divorce was finalized, she gave an optimistic spin to the public, telling People,
quote, "The life that I had is over ... And what has taken its place is better." But, according
to those close to the issue, what happened behind closed doors was much more harrowing.
Martha's former friend Mariana Pasternak told the New York Post:
"I think that Andy leaving her made her feel undesirable."
Soon after their relationship ended, her ex-husband started
dating and eventually married Martha's former assistant,
making the end of their relationship even more painful. Pasternak recalled seeing Stewart hit
herself and pull out chunks of her own hair due to the distress the divorce caused her.
The divorce was also very hard on their daughter, Alexis, who stopped speaking to her father after
their split. Martha told New York Magazine that this was very hard on her ex-husband,
who loves their daughter. But, quote, "she can't forgive him [for] his behavior."
In 2020, Martha spoke more candidly about how hard the experience was for her, telling People:
"Getting divorced was a terrible thing for me, because we were the first to divorce in
my family ... And that we haven't spoken since the divorce is even more painful."
Martha Stewart's father died in 1979. Edward Kostyra worked as a pharmaceutical salesman
and fathered six children, of whom Stewart was the second to oldest. The loss of her father
was particularly heartbreaking because of how close they were. During a Larry King interview,
Stewart recalled how her father instilled her love of gardening and her work ethic by
instructing her to remove the grass from their cobblestone path when she was three. She said:
"So I sat out there all day, you know, and I became his pet because of that."
Speaking about their special relationship with Makers, she explained:
"I was his favorite child. It's odd to say, but I was definitely his favorite child."
According to Stewart, her father would make himself available whenever she
needed someone to take her somewhere or to explain "the facts of life" when
she had questions that others wouldn't answer.
Her father was a huge inspiration in her life who taught her to work hard
and aim high. The businesswoman recalled fondly:
"He also always gave me the advice, 'Martha,
you can do anything.' which was very positive advice for a young girl at that time."
The loss of her father was deepened for Stewart because he passed before
he could see just how much his daughter accomplished.
"What do you think, mom?"
"I'm thinking that these are bed linens."
Although Martha Stewart is known for her illustrious career, her family life has
always been more challenging. In her book "Whateverland: Learning to Live
Here," Martha's daughter Alexis opened up about their less-than-perfect mother-daughter dynamic.
Her daughter wrote:
"Martha was not interested in being kid-friendly."
According to Alexis, although her mother built a career off her homemaking expertise,
she grew up without any prepared food in the house and had to wrap
her Christmas presents. And they didn't celebrate Halloween at all.
"'Halloween,' she wrote. 'There were no costumes. There was no anything. We
turned off all the lights and pretended we weren't home.'"
Alexis also found it impossible to live up to her mother's standards, She said:
"If I didn't do something perfectly,
I had to do it again. Martha does everything better. You can't win!"
Between Martha's demanding career and perfectionism,
the Stewart home was a difficult place for Alexis to grow up.
Martha herself admits that their relationship is far from perfect. Speaking to People,
Martha explained she spent much of her daughter's
childhood commuting to New York for her catering business. She admitted:
"I tried to involve her in everything, but the minute she could leave home and go to boarding
school, she did. Our relationship has always been a difficult mother-daughter relationship."
But despite those challenges and low points in their relationship,
Martha added, quote, "She would do anything for me, and I would do anything for her."
Though Martha Stewart is known for her impeccable taste and acumen as a businesswoman,
she's often remembered for one of the lowest points in her life. Stewart was accused of
insider trading after she received a tip from her former stock broker to sell ImClone's
stock in 2001. She was indicted by a grand jury on counts of obstruction of justice,
securities fraud, conspiracy, and making false statements.
The trial was heavily publicized, tarnishing Stewart's reputation at the time and forcing her
to resign from her position as CEO of her company, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Inc. Though,
she did stay on as chief creative officer. After pleading innocent, Stewart was found guilty of
conspiracy and obstruction in 2004. She was sentenced to five months in federal prison.
Years later, she spoke to Katie Couric about how harrowing her sentencing was to her, admitting:
"It was horrifying, and no one — no one — should have to go through that kind of indignity."
She didn't feel her time in prison helped her to grow or taught her anything, telling Couric:
"That you can make lemons out of lemonade? What hurts you makes you stronger? No.
None of those adages fit at all ... Nothing is good about it, nothing."
Still, she seems ready to move on.
"I don't want to be defined by a moment in time.
That was a moment. It's past. I don't think about it anymore."
It seems Martha Stewart has had many tricky family dynamics over the years. Along with
her messy divorce and challenging relationship with her daughter, Stewart also went for years
without any contact from one of her siblings. Frank Kostyra is Stewart's younger brother, and
the pair were estranged for five years. Following his sister's 2004 conviction, Kostyra told the New
York Post that his heart went out to his sister. Watching her in federal court, Kostrya said:
"I could see the horrible agony and heartache in her eyes and in her face."
Although this was a distressing time for Stewart, seeing her in that position was what it took for
Kostyra to remember their familial bond and finally heal the years-long rift between them.
Though he didn't share specifics on their falling out, Kostyra said:
"Martha and I have always had a lot of sibling rivalry — I remember us lying on the floor biting
and scratching as kids, trying to get each other to say, 'Uncle,' but she would never give in."
After the trial, he wanted to be there for his sister despite their differences.
He felt that many people misinterpreted Stewart as arrogant on the stand. He said:
"I just wish people remembered that Martha is a human,
a precious human who's going through a tough, tough time."
In 2014, Martha Stewart experienced a sudden and tragic loss when her younger sister,
Laura Plimpton, died unexpectedly. Plimpton was the youngest of the six siblings,
making her death all the more shocking. The 59-year-old mother of three died in a
hospital after suffering a brain aneurysm at home. Although she was several years younger
than Stewart, the sisters shared a close bond. Speaking to Larry King, Plimpton said:
"I think Martha and I have a very special relationship. I was five when she got married,
and all I wanted to do was be around her, her husband,
and then when Alexis was born, I just wanted to take care of Alexis."
On top of their close family bond, Plimpton also became an employee of
Stewart. The pair worked together for over 25 years, with Plimpton writing,
editing, and researching content for Stewart's company. In a memorial for Plimpton, published
on her The Martha Blog, Stewart wrote that her youngest sister was "beloved by all." She added:
"We are so sad but also happy that Laura had the foresight
to donate so many healthy organs to needy people."
Stewart endured yet another death in the family when her younger brother, George Christiansen,
died at home of a suspected heart attack in 2017. Following his unexpected death,
Stewart's spokesperson asked for privacy, telling Page Six:
"Martha lost her youngest brother, George, suddenly and unexpectedly earlier this [past]
week. The family requests that you respect their privacy during this time of sorrow."
Though his death was tragic, Stewart and Christiansen had a close relationship and
many happy memories together. Christiansen was a contractor who led a relatively quiet
life compared to his celebrity sister but was reportedly very close to Stewart. He
appeared on her digital show, and his company, Pequot Remodeling,
worked with Stewart to remodel her home, which she called Turkey Hill. Christiansen was quoted in
the book "Being Martha," speaking about his fond childhood memories with his sister. He had said:
"It was all about going and finding a piece of land and living off of it,
learning how to get back to nature. Listening to banjos, listening to folk music,
discovering Leadbelly and the Mamas and the Papas. We used to have the greatest evenings
with a bunch of hospitable people. Martha would make pies and other things for the occasions."
Following her divorce, Martha Stewart has been relatively private about her dating
life. She was known to date "Silence of the Lamb" actor Sir Anthony Hopkins
for a brief period in the '90s, but speaking about their relationship,
Stewart admitted she couldn't separate the actor from his frightening character Hannibal Lecter.
"I went out to dinner with him a couple of times, but all I could think of was Hannibal Lector."
Her next known relationship was with billionaire Charles Simonyi,
which lasted 15 years, according to Distractify.
Since then, Stewart has remained publicly single,
but that doesn't mean she's not looking for love. It's just been difficult for her to
meet her match. Speaking to Chelsea Handler, the domestic maven said she's had many crushes
that lead nowhere because the object of her affection is married. She dished:
"That's where I meet men. They're all married to friends of mine or something like that."
She also struggles to move on from those crushes because she always
wonders if it's worth holding out for something to change. She said:
"You wanna believe that 'Oh, maybe this relationship that they're in
is temporary. I always think, 'Oh, gosh, couldn't that person just die?'"
Handler clarified that the person Stewart was speaking of was the wife of her crush,
which Stewart confirmed with the caveat, that she didn't mean in a painful way.
Stewart also admitted to using dating apps for a time, though she has since given up
on them. It seems like finding the right partner remains a challenge for Stewart.