[Music]
The person I'm touching right now whenever I
shake your hand like this instantly you
get the worst case of the jock itch ever.
Oh my god! It's like your balls are on
fire. You'll be scratching and adjusting
but when I let go that feeling goes away.
But when I grab on to your hand again,
Whoa!
Ten times worse than the previous time!
It's like your balls are on fire! You'll
be scratching and it's a--- But when I let
go, it'll stop. Little rest and relax.
Right there! The person touching right now,
whenever you hear this next piece of
music Mexican jumping beans in your
shoes to become active causing your feet
to go 100 miles per hour into an Irish
jig. Not only way your feet being 100
miles per hour, your entire body will
transform into that of Michael Flatley
of the Riverdance you're the lord of the
dance, the lead river dancer putting on
one hell of a show. Whenever you hear
this piece of music. Listen to it
carefully record each every note deep in
your subconscious mind.
So whenever you hear that piece of music is
it gonna leap out of your head in
front and center stage and begin putting
on one hell of a show. And yours? Chris.
Good to have you here Chris nice to meet! Who came
with Chris tonight make some noise. He is
Chris!
[Music]
[Applause]
Say how about giving your friends a
great big round of applause. These people
right here sharing their personalities
with you. Here we go! Back him up! back him
up! Back him up! It's riverdancing time!
Here we go! Back up! Up! Oh the more you
clap, the faster they can go!
[Music]
Hey! Show some fancy! Show some fizzy oh!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You guys come
on back have a seat! Whoa! I was, I was
doing a show! You're totally interrupting
okay. Hmm! I'm sorry. You're fine, you're
fine, you're fine, yeah! you're fine now.
Hmm! The music. You didn't know and what?
The music! Yeah! the music! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! I understand! I understand fam so
you looked like you were dancing now. You
breathing heavy. You a smoker? No! Just
breathing heavy! Yeah! Fat. Fat! Okay! Okay!
All right!
Are you Irish by chance? No, German! German.
Oh! Okay! All right! Okay! I loved you!
By the way, I loved you in that mall cop
movie. You're fantastic Chris. what is it
you do sir?
Truck driver. And the way from Sydney?
Australia! Sydney Australia. I have a good
good friend in Sydney. He's in prison
right now, but true story, actually true
story.
No, it's fortunate. I am, yeah! For him and
for the rest of the world. Okay! Ah! And
what and you said? You're from Sydney? Yes.
And what do you do there? Truck driver.
Right! You said. Good thing, and what you?
Huh! What kind of things you home? Just
like all around Sydney. Mmm shops and
stuff.
[Music]
Where you stand! Where! Yeah! Oh! Yeah!
Bally's! Oh Nice! There. It's nice and no
ballroom? No. No ballroom, it's getting
great! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Totally good to
have you here! Good! Good to meet you! Good
to have you here! All right Mr. Fun
appointment, don't worry. It's not
contagious. Chris's not contagious. This
fight. Like it. No! No! It's fine. It's fine.
It's and you're not gonna get it. It's
fine. It's fine!
You see and I saw it as if I know. So it
only, it only affects Australians. You
finally get closer. No Frank! No! No!You're
fine. What? what is it? You know, you can't
get close to me. You won't get it. Don't
worry but there's no point in testing it.
What do you do for a living sir? Refinery
operator. Refinery operator. And new from
already came Kansas. Good to have you.
It's riverdancing time! Here we go! back
him up! Back him up! show him what you can
do!
[Music]
[Applause]
One, two, three, boiling. Whoa! Jesus! Nice!
Holy son! Stand! We step you, step right.
Here he's and then you stand right over
here. Okay and hands out! Hands out like
this hands out like this! All right! Okay!
Okay! Thank you Jackie!
That's a little hand sanitizer there for
you guys.
There you go maybe for me just in case
because somebody...
[Music]
Your wife wants a little more of her.
Yeah!
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
Hmm I feel better! You feel better!
[Applause]
What you doing later? No listen! listen! I'm
flattered a little curious but no. Um
Just, just, just so you know that when
you're when you're reaching over it, that,
that was, that was my majestic!
[Music]