(crowd applause)
You know, there are certain patterns to lie.
And we don't always get to choose
(indistinct chatter)
how things are gonna unfold.
You know, if you get a get a child
that has something in their life that disrupts
the normal developmental stages,
(clears throat)
we can't ignore that that's gonna have an impact.
You know, when you're born,
you start forming certain attachments,
when you have physical contact
with your mother and your father,
you learn that human contact is okay.
You learn that when somebody reaches for you
that that touches for comfort, it's not a risk.
And so that's where we form attachments.
And if you don't have that,
then it's very possible to form attachment disorders
and if a child is ill,
and they spend a lot of time in the (mumbles)
or they spend a lot of time in the hospital,
in and out they have a chronic disease,
that can really take away a lot of that bonding time
between a mother and child where they would be
in physical contact,
and they feel the warmth
and the comfort and even hear the heartbeat of the mother,
those things that are so essential,
that can affect how that child can bond later in life
at 20 30 40 years old.
And you can't ignore just because somebody gets
over a physical illness that there weren't problems
with developmental stages early on.
And when somebody has a chronic disease early,
that writes on the slate of who they are,
and then if that child doesn't adjust well,
and so they come into conflict with authority,
and now they're going into like juvenile detention
or into some kind of group home or into foster care.
Now you add to that, institutionalization.
And then we see all of a sudden,
this kid doesn't fit in somewhere.
Well of course they don't,
because they've never been socialized.
They didn't get the developmental aspects
that they needed when they hit those benchmarks
and then they weren't socialized along the way.
So you need to ask yourself,
If you've got a child that didn't go down the path
where they had normal developmental opportunities,
are they doing what they're doing
because we miss some of those things?
Do you need to go back and close the gap
and catch those things up?
And if the answer is yes,
there's help for doing that.
Study that, ask for help,
get the kind of guidance that you need.
In this case, today, we got a 15 year old kid
that's out gang banging. Why?
Because that's the group where he found acceptance.
He didn't find it at home,
he didn't find it at school,
because he was out of sync with the rhythm of everyone else.
So he found a group that didn't have much
of an admission criteria.
Unfortunately, that group is criminal.
So we've gotta the reset the button.
We gotta hit the reset button
and see if we can get back in sync
by taking him completely out of that environment.
When Gabe got cancer,
our entire lives turned upside down.
Now we have to save him from this gang lifestyle
that he's trying to lead.
Stop calling the cops on.
You don't expect me to call the police
when you're running away, stealing, guns.
I sometimes feel that when he went through his treatment,
the chemo took a piece of his soul.
It was like a switch flipped.
He was angry, became very aggressive, verbally, physically.
He was not himself.
(dramatic music)
At 10 years old, he was definitely starting
to hang out with the homies, the thugs.
At age 12 Gabe broken to an elementary school
and vandalized it.
He was served two weeks in juvenile hall
but he was placed on probation until the age of 15.
At age 13, he had tried cocaine
and I heard that he was also popping Xanax.
Last year Gabriel with came storming through the door,
he was covered in blood.
I thought his nose was broken.
We robbed the wrong person who is a homie
We stole guns from him. Okay, on accident.
He said that he had broken into a house
and stole some firearms.
The gang members beat the crap out of him.
I'm not from the hood
but I kick it with the homies.
My day's pretty simple. I just get up, call the homies.
They'll just come to my house and then we'll just post up.
We just get like, tequila, beers, smoke weed sometimes.
Usually we just mob it, and then if anybody starts tripping,
then we start tripping too.
If you're walking around at night,
you're probably gonna get either jumped or popped at.
A couple days ago I was just posted, sitting there,
and then out of nowhere I heard like pop, pop, pop.
Then I turned around and like,
there's like a laser right next to my homies head.
Then we started running hella fast.
I'm beefing with a lot of people.
Is there like a hit on you?
I don't know
You don't know?
I don't snitch. I've never snitched in my life.
So I'm not gonna say like, where I was at,
who got shot, who I think it was.
I can't say I'm from the gang,
but I kick it with all the homies from the gang.
The first time I got locked up in juvie it was cool.
I was like, (beep) yeah,
I'm gonna to be here with my homies.
And I did like 50 days.
I'm off probation now, so I'm just chilling
cause I'm maxed out.
I've already been locked up 11 times.
I'm trying to get my felonies on my record.
I'm not trying to be in the system locked up my whole life.
I told my parents that I wasn't gonna go back
but they don't believe me.
Ask yourself if your kids really a bad kid
or if they're just out of sync
because something threw them off
in their early developmental stages.
(robust music)