-It's been a humiliating week for MAGA politicians,
as Donald Trump came face to face with Stormy Daniels
in his criminal trial and one of his leading VP contenders,
South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem,
was grilled repeatedly after she got caught lying in her book.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪
Trump's trial keeps making history.
It's already the first-ever
criminal trial of an ex-president.
It's the first time
an ex-president has been found in contempt
and threatened with jail time.
And now it's also the first time an ex-president
has come face to face with a porn star he had an affair with
while she describes the position they were in,
the silk pajamas he was wearing,
and the magazine she spanked him on the ass with.
I mean, unless you count the time
John Adams was caught in a compromising position
with adult daguerreotype model Rocky Waters
in a copy of "The Farmer's Almanac."
Oh, they left that out of the Paul Giamatti mini series.
"Oh, Abigail, I am vexed...
and horny."
Good news for Giamatti.
All the kinky stuff they took out of "John Adams"
they put right into "Billions." [ Chuckles ]
I have a sincere question.
How are they going to teach this era of history in high school?
They can't say most of the words.
A frazzled gym teacher will have to cover it in sex ed.
"Alright, kids, settle down.
We're, uh...We're gonna be covering STDs here today,
uh, the do's and don'ts of safe sex, and, uh...
oh, right, 45th president of the United States."
Seriously, how are teachers supposed to handle it?
Even news anchors can't report the news without turning red.
-In the courtroom, uh, our reporters
in there are sending us notes,
updates every second that they can.
And Mr. Trump's defense attorney, Susan Necheles,
is saying, "We're informed the second witness
today will be Stormy Daniels.
We want to renew our objection to her testifying,
particularly about any details of any sexual acts."
That is Mr. Trump's, uh, attorney there.
"Do you mean more than just, 'We had sex'?"
Judge McCann asks the defense attorney, Susan Necheles.
"Yes, Your Honor," Necheles says.
So, Judge Merchan there establishing that, uh,
beyond "we had sex" is what they're talking about.
Hoffinger, the prosecutor, says they're being careful
to omit some details that are "too salacious."
Um, again, this is where we are as a country right now,
that we are having this discussion and this debate
in the courtroom.
Prosecutors is also saying -- is also saying,
"In terms of the sexual act, it will be very basic."
I can't believe I have to read this on television.
"It's not going to involve any descriptions --"
-Better you than me, Jake Tapper.
-"It's not going to involve any descriptions of..."
uh, of anything in particular, so...
-They're bullying Jake Tapper! [ Laughter ]
I'm surprised his voice didn't crack.
"Uh, it's not going to involve any descriptions of..."
"Say the words, dork!"
[ Voice cracking ] "...sexual acts!"
[ Laughter ]
Journalists are reacting to the news the way
my friends and I reacted when the principal caught us
looking at a "Playboy" during recess.
"You hold it, Jake!" "No!
You're the one who found it!"
"Ugh! Who's this loser on the cover, anyway?"
[ Laughter ]
"No wonder they left this one in the woods."
Here's what they wouldn't say.
A prosecutor told the judge that...
I had two different simultaneous reactions when I heard this.
"Thank God" and "Why not?"
[ Laughter ]
Because when someone says,
"We're going to talk about his genitalia,
but don't worry, we won't get into specifics,"
it's impossible to think, "But why -- What are the specifics?"
I really -- Don't get me wrong. I really don't want to hear
about Donald Trump's weird penis, but also,
I kind of want him to have to hear it.
Someone reading a description of your weird penis in court
sounds like a dream you'd have after eating a Hot Pocket
you found on the train.
Would be so funny to hear it described with him in the room,
just for the chance that during Stormy's testimony,
Trump would sneak a glance down at his pants
and the courtroom artist would capture the moment.
[ Laughter ]
Or maybe just be so nervous as she was describing it
that they would just add sweat drops from a "Cathy" cartoon.
All in all, it was not a fun day for Trump,
and it'll only get worse on Thursday
when Stormy returns to the stand.
Now, she's there to establish her credibility as a witness
and recount what happened,
given that it's central to the alleged crime.
But Fox News host Sean Hannity thinks prosecutors have
an ulterior motive. -Why was she in the courtroom?
She was there for one reason,
and this is - this should scare every American.
She was there to humiliate and embarrass Donald Trump.
-Look, if you don't want an adult film star testifying
in a trial of a former president,
don't vote for a president who slept with an adult film star.
And you might say, "But I didn't know!"
You might say -- You might say, "I didn't know
he slept with an adult film star before I voted for him."
And the reason you didn't is because he paid her off
so she wouldn't tell anyone.
And that's why she's in court, and that's the reason.
The fact that he's also humiliated and
embarrassed is what's called the legal term "a bonus."
[ Laughter ]
Also, Sean, you don't need a grand conspiracy
to humiliate and embarrass Donald Trump.
You just need to play video clips of Donald Trump.
No one could embarrass him more than he's embarrassed himself.
He definitely dances like nobody's watching.
He dresses like Darth Vader
if the Death Star had a softball team.
There's nothing Stormy Daniels or anyone else can say
that would be more embarrassing for Donald Trump than this.
-We are a nation that just recently heard
that Saudi Arabia and Russia will [muttering indistinctly].
[ Sighing ] Oh.
[ Laughter ]
-True story -- that's the same noise Trump made
when Stormy spanked him with a magazine.
[ Muttering indistinctly ]
[ Laughter ]
So, Trump was humiliated in court,
and yet he was somehow
not the most humiliated Republican politician this week
because there's also South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem.
You might remember her as the leading Trump VP contender
who, in her book with her name on it,
volunteered the information
that she once killed a puppy out of nowhere.
No one forced it out of her.
She sat down at the old Remington and thought,
"What's a good yarn for my new book?
Something that lets everyone learn what makes Kristi tick.
Oh, right!
[ Typewriter clacking ] Blew dog's brains out."
[ Typewriter continues clacking ]
[ Clacking stops ]
[ Laughter ]
Hello, typewriter repair shop? [ Chuckles ]
[ Laughter ]
I think mine's haunted.
[ Laughter continues ]
[ Inhales sharply ]
"How long does he want me to play the typewriter?
Until he stops moving his fingers,
but I'm not looking at him!
Oh, boy!
[ Laughter ]
Well, in the same book where she bragged about killing a dog,
she also claimed to have met North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.
And now it turns out that did not happen.
-In the very aptly titled memoir "No Going Back,"
Noem writes...
And tonight, the governor's team is admitting
that the story is not true.
Kristi Noem never actually met with Kim Jong Un.
-On Sunday, the book's publisher said
the passage is being removed at Noem's request.
-As soon as it was brought to my attention,
we went forward and have made some edits.
-"As soon as it was brought to my attention"
is such a weird thing to say about a book you wrote.
[ Laughter ]
So clearly what we're finding out,
Noem did not actually write
or even really pay attention to what was in this book
when it was being written by some other person.
Did they at least tell the ghostwriter who Kristi Noem was,
or did they just hire a coked-up Hollywood screenwriter
and tell them to go nuts?
"Yeah, man. [ Sniffles ] So she's from North Dakota,
so this book could be a real snooze.
I'm thinking we put in that she stared down Kim Jong Un
and also maybe, I don't know,
should we say she shot a [bleep] dog?
[ Laughter ]
Should we do that?
You wanna sell books or you wanna sell books?"
[ Laughter, applause ]
But even if Noem wanted to claim
that the book was written entirely by a ghostwriter --
Oh, was that...?
Earlier, the typewriter?
[ Laughter ]
Does Sound Effects think that's what a ghostwriter is?
[ Laughter ]
But even if Noem wanted to claim
that the book was written entirely by a ghostwriter
who made up the story without her knowledge,
that wouldn't hold up either because she read the audiobook!
She even posted clips of herself recording it.
-"Perhaps the most significant takeaway so far is
that more freedom, not more government, is the answer."
-Probably knowing Noem, she'd probably say,
"As you can see in the clip, I wasn't wearing headphones,
so there was no way to hear the words coming out of my mouth."
[ Laughter ]
So Noem presumably made up the story,
or at the very least, read the part about meeting Kim Jong Un
and didn't raise any objections about the fact
that it didn't happen.
And now she's going on what can best be described
as a humiliation tour,
where she tries to promote the book in interviews
but ends up getting grilled.
Every interviewer across the political spectrum
has been fairly asking her the same simple,
straightforward question --
"Did you -- Did you, though, meet Kim Jong Un?"
And she keeps giving the same insane robotic non-answers.
-Did you meet Kim Jong Un? -Well, you know,
as soon as this was brought to my attention,
um, I certainly made some changes.
-So you did not meet with Kim Jong Un?
That's what you're saying?
-You know, I met with many, many world leaders.
Many world leaders. I've traveled around the world.
I've traveled around the world.
I should not have put that anecdote in the book,
and at my request they have removed it.
-That specific meeting didn't happen?
-I'm saying that I'm not talking about that meeting.
I'm not talking about my meetings with world leaders.
-It's a simple question -- did you or did you not
meet with Kim Jong Un? -That's the answer
that I have for you, is that I'm -- It will be adjusted,
and as soon as I became aware of it, that content was removed.
-But why did you remove it?
Is it because it's untrue, that passage?
-No. I've been -- This is something
that I think is -- I'm not going to talk about.
I don't talk about personal meetings with world leaders,
and I'm going to continue to stay there.
-But clearly, if you're taking it out of the book,
it's because it's untrue. -I've given you my answer,
no, and that's not the answer.
I would say that, you know, this is something
that I asked to have adjusted and have the content
and that name removed,
and that is -- that is truly what the action has been.
-So you didn't have a conversation with Kim
when you were at the DMZ? -I don't have conversations
about my conversations with world leaders.
-But an anecdote indicates that it happened, right?
-I'm not going to talk about my conversations
with world leaders.
-Man, she nailed it. [ Laughter ]
Put the controversy to bed.
This is the smoothest PR tour I've seen
since Prince Andrew claimed he lost the ability
to sweat in the Falklands War.
[ Laughter ]
It's amazing that virtually every interview
she's done on every network, from CBS to Fox to Newsmax,
goes the exact same way.
I bet when she sits down to dinner with her family,
even her kids are like, "But did you meet Kim Jong Un?"
Obviously she didn't.
She lied, got caught lying, and now she's removing the anecdote
but is doing this bizarre thing where she just won't admit it,
leading to mind-boggling exchanges like this one.
-You said when you learned of it, you immediately took action.
You recorded the whole book and the audiobook.
You read this whole passage out loud.
Why didn't you take it out then when you read the audiobook?
-You know, I've traveled for years.
I've been involved in policy for almost 30 years,
and so I've gone all across the world.
I've met with world leaders.
-So you didn't realize when you recorded the audio book?
-...when I was brought to my attention and it was --
I asked the publisher if they would remove the name,
and they did. -Okay. I just --
But you didn't answer my question.
When you record-- You posted pictures and video
of yourself recording the audiobook.
When you recorded your own audiobook, you didn't notice --
-I'm not going to discuss about
my meetings with world leaders. -I'm not asking you to.
I'm asking you about recording the audio.
-Did you want to talk about something else today?
-No, I just wanted to know.
I mean, we're just trying to get a straight answer from it.
This has been... -Well, you did.
-She's digging a hole so deep she could bury a dog in it.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Kristi Noem's getting grilled harder
than criminal defendant Donald Trump.
Not only is she making Trump look good by comparison,
she's making Kim Jong Un look good by comparison.
For all we know, she was gonna meet him and then right before
he said, "Wait, isn't that the lady who killed her puppy?
Uh, no, thank you.
I'm a monster, but I'm not that."
[ Laughter ]
Arguably the worst part for Noem
is that she's been told multiple times to her face
by right-wing media figures
that she's no longer in the running to be Trump's VP.
-Governor, if you asked me a month ago
who's at the top of the list to run with Donald Trump,
I would have said your name. -Mm-hmm.
-If you asked me that same question this morning,
I don't even think you're on the list.
-We've been consumed with e-mails saying,
"I won't vote for this person.
I won't vote for Trump if she --
if he puts her in the vice presidential spot."
-Well, I'll tell you, Stuart,
I'm sorry you're not hearing from real Americans
that live on farms and ranches.
-She's right. Real Americans know what life is like
on the farm -- herding the cattle,
tending the soil, lying about, meeting Kim Jong Un.
[ Laughter ]
You know, down-home, salt-of-the-earth stuff.
I'll admit that my knowledge about farm life
begins and ends with the song about Old MacDonald,
but as far as I can remember, there wasn't a verse
about a dog that ended with
"a bang bang here and a bang bang there."
[ Laughter ]
But this is the perfect encapsulation
of the MAGA movement -- it always leads to humiliation.
It's a lesson everyone who has ever associated themselves
with Donald Trump has learned.
If you want to be in his orbit,
you have to be willing to trade your dignity.
And Trump himself is now
experiencing that reality firsthand.
Although, from what we've heard in court,
he seems to enjoy being humiliated.
When Stormy testified, he could be heard saying...
-[ Sighing ] Oh.
[ Laughter ]
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪