Transcriber: Mualla Salah Reviewer: marwa el-faki
Hello everyone.
I'll start.
Ever since we were children,
we've been told not to judge a book by its cover, right?
Well, I'm here today to talk about how do people
judge people by their appearance,
and their outfits, looks, and everything on the outside.
Basically, I've been living my whole life outside Sudan
and then when I came here, I've been suffering
from the fact that people do judge people
by their outfit, appearance, and everything from the outside.
People [have] been telling me,
that you should change your whole style.
How do people expect me to change my whole style,
all of a sudden?
If I'm not convinced with the thing,
I wont be doing it.
I'm not really saying that the way I dress up,
is really perfect and fashionable and everybody is dressing up that way.
No, I'm just saying that
to move from one place to another
it takes baby steps, not one step.
You won't even be convinced of it.
I had this friend that's has been forced --
Actually, she was also living outside of Sudan,
and when she came here,
her mom was afraid of the fact
that people here judge people by their outfits and appearance.
So her mom didn't even let her take baby steps,
to move from skinny jeans to skirts,
from t-shirts to tall thing and so,
she just made her wear Abaya.
So the girl was not convinced with the fact
that she is wearing abaya from t-shirts and skinny jeans.
So what she was doing
is, she leaves the house wearing it,
and when she comes back home, she's wearing it also.
But when she is with us, she'd be taking it off.
This is not good.
She is a good girl, I know that.
So when she got scolded by the driver,
thinking she is a bad girl
because she takes the abaya off
and gets into the house wearing it.
Why would her parents put her in such situation?
To cause her to -- even if she might disgrace the family name --
this is something (god forbid) --
She won't be able to walk on the streets
with her head up.
So, why would her parents put her in such a situation?
So that she endangers the family name,
or even herself.
That was the point about my friend's story.
But now when we get back to me,
let's say people right at this moment,
many of you are judging me, you would be like,
This girl that standing up there,
doesn't pray,
or doesn't even know how to pray,
or she doesn't know about her religion, and so.
So guess what?
I do know about my religion
as much as anyone my age should know.
I've been to Arabic school.
I've never been into English schools my whole life.
And yes, this is a bomb,
don't let your jaw dropped,
But I pray. Can you believe it?
Nobody can seem to believe it. (Applause)
That was the point.
That's what I get when people see me pray.
I do pray.
Once, I had this friend up,
we suddenly figured out that we are neighbors,
she was with me at the school, and then
she decided suddenly to come to my house.
No phone call, no nothing.
So, I was praying at the salon,
and she came, and the girl was so shocked,
she didn't even consider that I was praying.
She came and stood next to me and goes like,
Are you serious?
(Laughter)
Actually she is kinda softy, she was like:
Are you serious? (With an accent)
That's what she said.
So she couldn't seem to believe the fact that i was praying,
she was about to tell me:
Do you even know where is the Qibla?
See how offensive is that?
That's offensive, right?
That was one, the other one,
was with me and my cousins,
it was Ramadan 2010, the twenty seventh.
So, we decided to go to Altahajud prayer,
and we found our neighbor in front of us.
And then she poked her friend,
she was like, isn't this Inaam's daughter who wears pants?
She couldn't seem to believe.
I'm not sure if she didn't believe that I'm wearing abaya,
or that such a girl is coming to the mosque to pray.
So she judged me because they think that
girls who dress up this way,
means they don't pray,
and they're probably bad girls.
And they have something in their minds that everyone
that is dressing up decently
means he must be praying, an he prays the whole night long.
That's a definite thing.
And they think that, everyone dressing up
decently means everything is perfect
and everyone dressing up this way
it means he is a bad person
and have many inappropriate things in his life.
Well, I have a point here that,
not all the girls that dress up inappropriately
regarding to our community's traditions and costumes means they are bad.
They are not as bad as their outfit seems,
nor the girls who dress up
decently are as good as their outfit seems,
that's a fact right?
(Applause)
That was part one of my speech,
when I go to part two,
I want to talk about how people, like --
We get disrespected --
We get disrespected in streets, university and everywhere.
It was my first day,
I am a freshman actually, that's a fact.
It was my first day at the university, I was happy
it's my first day in university.
We have our grandmother
who's responsible for the outfits,
and she stops anyone she doesn't like the way they dress.
So she goes like,
she called me saying,
"Come, come here my daughter,
What is this you are wearing?"
And then after that
she does a really irritating and disrespectful sound.
(Laughter)
That was really disrespectful.
That was really irritating.
You see that's how you get disrespected in such place.
That was one. Other one:
It was only the first week in university,
and you don't know people that well.
So a dude came to say hi
in an inappropriate way according to our community.
According to our religion, customs and traditions.
So when you stop him
he goes like,
I thought you were "americanized".
I thought you would be cool with that,
but you ended up as a closed minded person.
They think that an open minded person
is the person that doesn't follow his traditions,
customs, and religion
and he could be cool with anything.
Then I'm a closed minded person
I dont really care.
But i follow my traditions, customes (Applause)
and religion and I love the fact that (Applause)
I'm proud of the fact that I'm Sudanese,
and I do follow that.
That was how you get disrespected.
Actually, I think not only girls suffer from that,
but also boys. Here in Sudan
I don't know if it's in Sudan or the whole Arab world.
They think if a boy make an afro hair,
or a proper low waist jeans he's a bad dude.
Don't you guys suffer from this?
When you coming out of the house,
your father goes like, pull up you pants boy.
So that was about boys.
Actually, people don't get judged only into a good person or bad person,
they can also judge you into a poor person or a rich person.
OK, here is an example:
I had this friend and she used to dress up poorly.
It was only the beginning of the year,
so we didn't get to know her closely,
so one day she missed her ride home,
so we decided to take her with us
and then, when we were close to her house,
the girl was pointing, that's it, you stop here.
And then when I was trying to figure out
what's this and I look up,
I see a palace, and I say:
Are you serious? That's your house?
You see how offensive? That was offensive to her.
She goes like: Yeah!
I didn't intend to stop the bus driver
and then I'm like, "Are you serious?"
And then we stopped.
When she stopped everybody had their lower jaw drop.
We were so shocked as we judged her to a poor person.
And she like they say "can buy and sell us"
She is very rich and her father was something.
You see that's how you judge people.
My message to deliver here today:
It's not all about your appearance
or your appearance is what matters.
It's all about good manners.
Good manners are not looks or speech.
They are life situations.
"Manners are life situations"
and that's how I'm surviving.
(Applause)
And that's how I'm surviving.
They try to prove something
I do prove them wrong.
And then when you like
when you go back you find out that you're not perfect.
Nobody is perfect.
So before pointing at anyone
make sure your finger is clean.
Thank you.
(Applause)