- Hi, I'm Joe Manganiello,
and I'm here with BuzzFeed to read your thirst tweets.
(laid back music)
"I really find Joe Manganiello hot,
but I refrain from saying that out loud in public
simply because I can't pronounce his last name."
That's a pretty common issue.
It's Manganiello,
as long as you hit the hard G, Manganiello or,
Manganiello, as if you are going to talk dirty about me
in Italy.
"Joe Manganiello's butt is the butts of butts.
Hashtag, butt."
Is that like the equivalent of the King of beards?
The butts of butts.
"Who awakened your butt sexuality?
For me, it was Joe Manganiello."
Well, thank you for admitting that, publicly.
"My aunt looking at a shirtless picture of Joe Manganiello.
Yeah, I'd let him eat crackers in the bed."
Where all of these crackers in bed.
I don't ever think I've eaten crackers once in bed.
Was that like an old West saying?
Like, "All we had was hardtack
to eat in bed after copulating."
"I want Joe Manganiello to rip me in two,
then my life will be fulfilled."
Yup, I think that's slang for something else.
"Joe Manganiello as Deathstroke is what my bussy deserves."
Or bussy, actually.
A good friend of mine actually explained to me
what B-U-S-S-Y means and now I know.
I'm guessing this involves cosplay.
I'll leave the samurai sword at home.
"I would happily rip off my arm
to have Joe Manganiello in my bed."
But how would you hug me then?
"Apparently Joe Manganiello is the creator of death saves
in DnD.
That fine ass man is also a geek.
Sofia Vergara is living my dream."
Yes, I have a street wear line called Death Saves.
A geek, I guess, yeah.
You know, an intellectual.
"I called Joe Manganiello daddy
in front of my actual daddy."
I think that would be awkward for everybody involved.
Don't you think?
"I'm always a slut for wawa and Joe Manganiello."
I guess you like convenience store hot dogs.
I mean, the fact that I'm in that
category of happiness with convenience store hot dogs
or slushies, like I'll take it.
"Joe Manganiello is so (beep) fit,
I'd lick barbecue sauce off of his pecs."
As long as it wasn't like a super high heat count,
I would allow that.
As you get into the hotter sauces,
you start to get some burning on the skin.
Especially the nipples are very tender.
"My husband keeps asking for a threesome
and I'm all like, sure but,
I didn't know you knew Joe Manganiello."
(laughter)
I don't think you know my wife, Sophia Vergara.
She's Colombian, I don't think she's gonna go for that.
"Joe Manganiello is six five?"
With exclamation points and a question mark.
"I want a piggyback ride followed by sexy time."
Is this all happening in your mind
at some sort of County Fair?
Maybe there's a fantasy about hurting your ankle
or something and needed to be carried around.
"I just wanna stuff Joe Manganiello in my bra
and never let him out."
That's a big bra.
I would even allow you to have a baby Bjorn
just to make it easier.
"I don't care if Joe Manganiello has a wife,
I want him to pork me."
Well, I love the use of the word pork.
I haven't heard that since "National Lampoon's Vacation."
Good for you for using the eighties movie term pork.
"I want Joe Manganiello to give me beard burn on my thighs."
Well, you're catching me at a point with a goatee.
We gotta catch (mumbles) after shave before the next role.
"I'm not saying that I'd let Joe Manganiello
raw me into the ground, but I AM saying that I'm hole."
H-O-L-E.
Okay, I mean this is descriptive.
I think we have some great imaginations.
Raw me into the ground is going to enter my lexicon.
I know I'm gonna start using that phrase
a lot more than I currently do.
Those were pretty funny and imaginative.
Thanks to everybody who wrote them.
I think we have a lot of young literary talent,
is my big takeaway from all of these.
Thank you, BuzzFeed,
for such a crazy experience.
And go see "Archenemy" in theaters
and on video on demand December 11th.
Thanks, everybody.