Approximately 0.5% of the population has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissism has many forms and traits that can be hard to detect if you are not educated on the topic.
It can affect many relationships around the narcissist such as intimate relationships and relationships with coworkers, family, and friends.
Most people who are diagnosed with NPD are men.
A popular topic that has been trending over the internet the last few years is manipulation, or emotional abuse.
Many cases of emotionally abusive relationships occur because of a narcissist.
It is important that a person educates themself on narcissistic manipulation tactics, how to spot them, and safely remove yourself or another person from the situation.
These tactics are not only important for you, but for you to help educate others that are in need.
So sit back and stay with us to the very end. We have some interesting facts that may raise some eyebrows when you hear them.
Number 1: Sometimes the abuser is overly affectionate.
A form of narcissistic abuse can be the complete opposite of what society portrays as abuse.
The abuser can be overly loving and affectionate towards the victim.
This can be in many forms such as inappropriate gifts early on in the relationship, or the abuser can move too quickly for the victim emotionally and disguise that by expressing how much they love them.
This is a form of emotional manipulation, which is a critical sign of abuse but can be the hardest to detect.
The abuser can use phrases such as "I only act this way because I love you so much," or "I will do that for you if you agree to do this for me".
Everything centers around their emotional wants and feelings, belittling the victim’s.
Number 2: The silent treatment.
The silent treatment is another way narcissists can emotionally manipulate their victims.
They choose silence over discussing their feelings because they crave the attention the victim gives them to speak to them again.
When a victim or significant other begs and pleads for the attention of the narcissist, it empowers the abuser.
Many times the narcissist will begin the argument that leads to them giving the victim the silent treatment.
Even if they begin the fight, the victim has to apologize.
This tactic can be one of the worst ways to disable the communication process between the narcissist and victim.
The goal of the silent treatment is to guilt the person into talking to you and admitting they’re wrong even if they didn't actually do anything.
Now, this isn't saying that all people who use the silent treatment are narcissists, but this is to inform you of a known tactic narcissists tend to use.
Number 3: Gaslighting.
This may be the most common tactic used by people who are narcissists.
This is a tactic used by narcissists who feel like they don't have enough control over their significant other.
The abuser's goal is to convince the victim that they are mentally unstable or they don't have enough control over their own thoughts and feelings.
In most cases, the person gaslighting uses narcissistic manipulation techniques such as convincing the victim what really happened in a situation or what is best for them in life.
They want the victim to feel like they are the glue of the relationship.
The abuser wants the victim to need them even more.
Most victims in the beginning of the abuse start to notice the small forms of emotional manipulation and when they start to speak out, the narcissist will begin to gaslight the victim, telling them it's all in their head.
If convinced, the victims start to question their own reality; they let the abuser take complete control of the relationship and their own feelings.
One gaslighting technique to look out for is denial.
Denial is used when the victim speaks out or questions the abuser on something they did wrong and the abuser denies everything and then moves on to trivializing.
Trivializing is a complex word for a simple tactic. They continually tell the victim to stop being sensitive or "too dramatic" when they are upset over what the abuser did.
There are many gaslighting tactics out there but those two are the most used and can intertwine with each other.
Gaslighting is also considered a defense tactic of abuse because the abuser puts themselves in the defense side by making the victim appear as though they are mentally unstable or aggressive.
Number 4: Triangulation.
Triangulation is a narcissistic control tactic used often as a way to get rid of any outside influence towards the victim.
The abuser attempts to convince the victim that a person in his or her life is a bad influence, doesn't want the relationship to work, or the victim to be happy.
This is usually used when people outside of the relationship begin to notice and try to tell the victim about their toxic relationship.
When confronted by the victim about the accusations, the abuser will then direct and blame the friend or family.
They will claim that it is all the victim's fault for letting people who are against the relationship be involved in it.
They can convince the victim that the accuser is just against the relationship and they are picking the friend or family over them.
This can cause the victim to question or have self-doubt in choosing people to associate with that are not their partner.
Many times you can spot this happening in your relationship if your partner is against any friends or family who are not 100% on their side.
They are usually passive-aggressive towards that person or make small comments frequently about them.
Usually, they make enough that it starts getting into the victim’s head that it is everyone against them.
Remember, most of the time these accusations from the abuser are false or exaggerated, but seem real to the abuser and eventually the victim.
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Number 5: Moving the goalposts.
Moving the goalposts is a tactic that involves criticism.
Basically, it means that the person criticizing will keep finding issues about the victim to complain about and nothing is good enough for them.
You have to keep meeting new expectations although you have jumped through hoops for this person already.
It usually, but not always, occurs in relationships during arguments.
Victims can state why their abuser is wrong and lay out factual information why, but the abuser can find many different ways to not accept the facts and continue to find something to argue about.
As said before, it is not always in arguments; many times the abuser will move the goalposts about the victim’s life as well.
They will pick on careers, hobbies, or anything the victim enjoys or is involved in.
Signs to look for are your significant other always telling you you need to be better at whatever it is you are doing and finding many things to argue about when you stood your ground and fought back.
Number 6: Regression.
Regression refers to the act of regressing back to childlike behavior as an adult.
Many narcissists will whine and cry like a toddler would to get their way.
It can either guilt the victim because they associate their feelings with a child's or they’re annoyed with the behavior and will do anything to get it to stop.
It was proposed by Freud in earlier times as a defense mechanism to avoid talking and dealing with issues as an adult.
Narcissists will do it to avoid facing and dealing with troubles they have caused if the victim decides to call on their behavior and confront them.
Number 7: Malignant narcissist tactics.
Narcissism is highly complex and can be hard to detect at times.
It, at times, can only be seen if you spend time with a person to see if they show traits of narcissism.
Malignant narcissists are a more complex case because these people, diagnosed or undiagnosed, have narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial behavior.
Combining narcissistic behavior and the inability to socialize with others properly can lead to a dangerous situation.
This isn't saying that they are murderers, but it can lead to a very emotionally damaging relationship.
Studies have been conducted testing for narcissistic traits in people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder to see if they share any similar traits. The studies are still ongoing.
The tactics used by people who are considered malignant can be similar to those with the normal form of narcissism but have a more severe case of triangulation and moving the goalposts.
Malignant narcissists usually have a bigger ego to fulfill which can cause more verbal abuse towards the victims.
People who have antisocial disorder usually cannot empathize or show emotion for other people's wellbeing.
Combined with narcissism, this can be detrimental for the victim.
Number 8: Post-relationship troubles.
Educating yourself and others on tactics used by narcissistic people in relationships can save you or someone you know from becoming emotionally damaged.
Many victims of relationships with narcissists can leave everlasting imprints on them. It can be hard for the victims to recover and learn to really trust someone else.
It is so important to learn the tactics they use to lure and keep their victims in the relationship.
Narcissists project their psychological troubles and fears onto the victim to feel like they are not the only ones with these feelings.
If the victim is lucky enough to get out of the relationship, there are times where the narcissist will continue to use some tactics to get the victim back into their grip.
Gaslighting and trivializing are some of the main tactics used for post-relationship struggles.
Calling the victim sensitive or over-dramatic for ending the relationship can make them feel like they made a drastic choice over a small problem. That can rope them back into the cycle again.