- Full-body contouring.
- What is it?
- It sounds silly.
- I can do it. - Let's try it!
- Let's pump it all over this body.
(metal squeaking)
- I know that it has the word contouring in it.
Full-body contouring is when you put
a bunch of junk on your arms
and try to make people think you
go to the gym more than you do.
- It's like a mirage, right?
- It's like paint by numbers, for your body.
- It makes you think something is there when it's not.
I don't regularly contour,
mostly just cause I don't know how to do it,
but I think it looks really good when people contour well.
- Yeah, when people contour well it looks amazing,
which is why it's really sad that
we're doing this, ourselves. - Yeah.
- I think that it's gonna go really well,
and I think that people are gonna laugh,
and we're gonna have a good time,
and we are going to-- - Look toned?
- Look toned and tanned in the middle of February.
- Hell yeah let's (beep) contour.
- Let's do it, hell yeah, (beep) cont, let's contour.
I'm going to be contouring my chest, arms and legs.
- I'm going to be contouring my arms and my legs.
- It would be helpful if we had a tutorial.
- Oh my God! - Oh my God!
Amazing! - Oh.
- Okay, we're gonna watch this, see what happens.
So you basically, you draw lines
where the muscles would be if you weren't a lazy fuck.
Okay.
Oh, uhh!
I didn't even notice that.
Well that's good.
Good that he has working pectoral muscles.
There's a lot of fucking steps to this. (laughs)
I bet if we like screenshotted it,
we can figure it out just from that.
- That's real.
- Okay, let's try it.
- So I'm trying to just put darker color
wherever a crease would be,
and I'm also trying to match it
to the screenshots we took of this tutorial.
- Oh, maybe you did the smarter thing.
- I do like the way this feels.
It's very relaxing to just brush.
- Oh, no, that's pink.
Nope, I am pale.
I am pale like moonlight.
- So then you take the lighter color,
and you trace over your darker color--
- Yeah, like that, so it's like that.
Look at my muscles. (both laughing)
- I'm giving myself kisses with this beauty blender.
- That's good, you deserve kisses.
- Time to blend. - I'ma blend.
This is actually enough of a workout
where I could have defined muscles
if I just learned how to do this correctly.
Then I wouldn't have to, like,
draw brown smiles on my arm. (laughing)
This looks great!
I shoulda used the powder.
Mine just kinda looks like I
have, like, a real busted vein.
- The cream seems more difficult
to blend than the powder-- - Yes.
- 'Cause the powder was really easy to blend, I think.
- Yeah, this is super hard to blend.
This doesn't look like anything. (laughs)
I look like the guy, in like, the camp of zombie survivors
who's been bit but hasn't told anybody yet.
(laughing) And is like "it's fine!"
(laughing)
I'm gonna try the other arm with the powder.
Oh, I am, I am right-handed so this is tough.
(laughing) Boop.
(both laughing)
- Two gentle balls. (laughing)
Just like gently cupping my ear.
- You know it's bad when you have
to give up and let Jen help you.
(both laughing) - Yo but, true.
- While I contour my boobs, Jen is gonna do her other arm.
- Mmm hmm. (upbeat music)
- I remember seeing someone on Oprah
do this a long time ago, and they're being like
"a non surgical way to have bigger boobs".
(both laughing)
- A non surgical way to get bigger boobs
is just, like, eat more popcorn,
and you'll have beautiful, big popcorn boobs.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Does that work? - I mean, you know.
- This one didn't turn out as well,
but I mean I think I'm done,
and I do enjoy being done while
Kristin still has work to do.
Is that one of my hairs on your boob?
- Yeah. - How did that happen?
(both laughing)
- I love how even my fake boobs are uneven.
This is close.
- Not bad, actually.
- Yeah. - It looks pretty good.
We try really hard. - We try really hard.
We're just not very good.
I look like I have very tall tits.
- Ow, son of a bitch.
How are you supposed to find where the muscle is?
(pen clunking)
- It's very clear that you're better at this than me.
- Thank you, I very rarely hear those words.
(Kristin laughing)
- Hold on, I will blend you.
There we go. (laughing)
- Ticklish! - Sorry.
(laughing)
- [Jen] Good job. - Good job us, we did it.
- Good job. (hands smacking)
- Nice.
(sign whooshing and squeaking)