I had to tell my grandparents, I think my boyfriend's cheating on me with my godsister.
I Had just transferred to a new high school, it was scary, I didn't know anybody there.
I thought that was going to be my only problem in high school
for the first time in my life I
started to experience really severe issues with my health.
I had all of these scars and
Open wounds on my back that I could never reach
So here I was in this new high school with an immune system that was just kind of falling apart on itself
But there was one person there who looked at me and said hey you are
Really amazing. It would make me feel like there was nothing wrong with me
He would be with me when I was sick. He would put lotion on my scars
First three months of our relationship, I was really really happy
But after three months he started to get possessive
Everyone I was talking to made him uncomfortable
It kept cutting off
People thinking one day. I'll make the right group of friends, and he'll be okay
And then it started getting worse
It didn't matter if it was my shoulder or my arm or my hands or my thighs he had
Had to be touching me, and I kept making all these excuses as to why it was okay.
So I kept going on like that
After about a year and a half to two years
-
My family decided they wanted to send me to the Philippines. My grandparents were over there,
And they wanted me to stay with them, and when I finally told him he started crying
He got really really upset and he said "you're gonna be gone for a month.
Why do you have to go now? Why do you why do you need to be going to the Philippines for a month?",
"I'll be here when you come back, but please", -
"just come back right away." and
I felt guilty because I was actually really glad that I didn't have phone service for a lot of it because I had an excuse so i was like
"I don't I can't contact you because I'm with my family", I
could just
Explore and be free with my family
we had taken these really cute pictures in the Philippines my profile picture for
The last year and a half of our relationship was a photo of the two of us, and I thought
You know I think he liked this one, and I hope it's been a year since I've changed it
But then my godsister started commenting on it
She thought it was really cute
and then my boyfriend started commenting too this is the first time my
Boyfriend has ever gone in along with a friend of mine. This is the friend I needed to have in my life
So that my relationship can be okay?
The next day he told me that the two of them had stayed up until 7:00 a.m.
Webcaming with each other and just talking
And I thought it was a little strange, but it was kind of cute
And then a couple days later. He told me I
Think we need to wait until you come home if we're gonna talk
I Kept asking him what's going on? What happened?
Are you okay, and he said no something's going on and it's not a good time to talk to you
And I was so upset like why would you just?
Cut me out like this
like I don't understand why you're doing this to me it hit me that something was going on between the two of them
And so I got angry and I messaged him, I told him what are you doing?
What's going on between you two because I don't understand and why can you talk to her but you can't talk to me
I had to tell my grandparents I
Think my boyfriend's cheating on me with my godsister
The same boy that had been to their 50th anniversary just a couple months ago
The guy I told them I thought I was gonna marry I came home
He met me at my house, and I had a box ready with all of his things
He was smiling the whole time
He told me you know I love you
and
My life will never be the same because of you but even at school
My ex would still comment on
All the things about our relationship that didn't work
He specifically told me if there's one thing I don't miss about our relationship. It
Was taking care of you when you were sick
My health hit its all-time low
It was like my body knew that he wasn't there to take care of me anymore
my hair started coming out I
Didn't have any energy to get up out of my bed
Everything about me was breaking and everyone could see it
I felt so bad because I knew it was killing my parents, but they were all I had I
Woke up
3 AM one night I
was trying to get to the bathroom because my skin was stinging I
Heard my mom crying
to my dad
she was so upset
she said this is getting so expensive
We can't afford to do this forever
My dad was comforting her telling her you know
We'll find a way to pay for things and we'll be okay, and it didn't even sound like he was convinced
And I realized
If there is nobody on this earth that I am doing any good for anymore
and if the two people I love most I
am hurting I
don't want to be here anymore
like i had suicidal thoughts
Before but this time I was sure I went to the bathroom. I took the rest of my steroids
i snuck down stairs and there was
About a quarter bottle of vodka in the fridge that none of us had touched
So I drank that with all of my pills
And I went back upstairs to my bed, and I went to sleep I didn't want them to think it was their fault
when and if I died
In the next morning I woke up I
Felt nothing
And have a stomach ache I didn't have to go to the bathroom
It was like I had never taken the pills at all
It was the worst feeling in the world
After I brought a year, I started getting better my skin started to heal up, and I wasn't perfect I
Went to this one acupuncturist who said
That it was because of my emotional state that my body wasn't able to produce
The healthy bacteria needed to make everything better
Now, it's five or six years later, I still hear his voice in the back of my head. I wish I could forget
But I'm here