what is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and this beautiful woman with me right here
is doctor who also happens to be my mom say hi mom hi Chris yeah so she she
might go by Carrie but to me she's mom but yeah anyways some of you or a lot of
you saw my video I just did about suicide awareness with Kate Spade and
Anthony Bourdain passing passing away in the last week but my mom not tell him a
little bit about what why you're a doctor would you specialize in well I
have a doctor degree in clinical psychology but I specialize in addiction
for the last 20 years yeah my specialties treating addiction and
other mental illnesses because something that isn't coming up enough like we see
suicide and things like that but like both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain
struggled with addiction and more and more news is coming out and we wanted to
talk about this because there's a there's a huge lack of awareness when it
comes to addiction especially when it comes to alcoholism alright like a lot
of people when they think addiction they're thinking oh the opioid epidemic
yes that is a huge problem but you must
understand that tens of thousands of people each year are dying from
alcoholism and I think this is a perfect example too about how the statistics are
kind of screwed up you know what I mean like it doesn't necessarily say they
died of alcohol poisoning it's a result of alcoholism leading to
depression leading to suicide like can you talk a little bit about what how
alcoholism leads to suicide well at the end of the day you could have depression
before you have alcoholism or even abuse let's even just go alcohol abuse and I
don't think it's about non awareness I think it's starting to get to me I'm
getting frustrated because I think it's about denial
I think everybody's educated about oh we shouldn't drink or do drugs too much and
be an addict but it's okay to self-medicate a little
bit I mean I cannot tell you how many how much frustrated I am that nobody is
shocked in the field of addiction that Anthony Bourdain and Katie spayed hung
themselves were not shocked abusing alcohol whether you're diagnosed as an
alcoholic or not and you're struggling with depression or anxiety the
likelihood that you're gonna eventually harm yourself harm somebody else is
extremely high yeah and a lot of people I got shared at multiple times on my
channel we're talking about my story like like especially with my drinking am
i using I got to a point where even though I wasn't going to kill myself I
wanted to die and that's something else obviously where people just drink
themselves to death you know what I mean but something else like what we're
talking about like the depression like you know depression come before or the
depression come afterwards like it could be either way like some people
self-medicate with alcohol but then alcohol long-term abuse of it can also
start to make you feel more depressed right right it doesn't matter the
chicken came before the egg that's not that important what matters is we tell
you when you're struggling with any mental illness is stopped addictive
drugs why we're trying to treat the mental illness so so Kate Spade it came
out the Kate Spade her husband you know they they were separated stuff and part
of the reason that he left was because of her drinking life course so do you do
you think especially with like the denial and stuff like what about both
sides of it do you think like the actual alcoholic has denial do you think the
people around them has denial - okay so I'm not that upset with the alcohol
addict okay because it's a mental illness they're going to be a denial I
am more upset with the people around them that join in in the denial or turn
a blind eye so at this point I'm not even looking at Kate Spade and Anthony
Bourdain I'm looking at the people that knew these people at histories of
abusing substances and and are not confronting dude we're not going to
drink with you dude we're not gonna have you on our show
drinking you're an you're a confessed addict yeah okay or yourself medicating
because anxiety disorder is not appropriate right we're not okay with it
so let's talk about this real quick a lot of people watching my channel or not
addicts and alcoholics like what what should a person do like what should a
loved one do if they see the person is has a drinking problem
we're not make boundaries clear set loving boundaries we're not gonna drink
when we're around you I have a case right now that just blows
me away but I could go on for hours I'm not gonna drink around you we're not
we're not a drinking family I'm not okay with you drinking when we go to a
restaurant it's got to be a theme this is an illness mm-hmm okay
it's not okay it's like in our family Christopher well we have Thanksgiving we
just don't have booze or alcohol around right we don't have big family functions
because of it but it's a loving gathering because we all know there's no
need for it yeah and like we look at like celebrity culture too like it's
everywhere with the partying and the lifestyle yes like that so so yeah it's
difficult for them to even avoid situations where where there's not going
to be alcohol let me let me say this I get that all the time like Kerry they're
gonna be around booze anyway they're gonna be it's all over the place yeah
but my home and my family is my castle yeah they're my safe net they're my love
I don't care if I go to a friend's house and AB alcohol I have a right to leave
yeah but in my family in my home yeah and you guys know I could die and you're
still sitting around drinking next are you insane I mean there's something
wrong with you yeah it's like sober sober coaches sober companions and stuff
like that like do you think like especially celebrities like they should
hire somebody or events or whatever you know like Kate
Spade she was a well I think they're just like in our 12-step programs
there's 12 step programs that are in recovery yes I believe in sober coaching
they have to have somebody that understands yeah near there yeah cuz
yeah that was that was part of the issue was like even if friends and family
members cut me off and I go to plenty events where people didn't know like
people didn't know that I had a problem so I could drink all willy-nilly around
them and stuff right but but that's another issue that therapy and
counseling can kind of cover okay so yes you're right but Anthony Bourdain was on
TV drinking as he's going to these cultural events and everybody CNN knew
he was a drug addict yeah this is something this is something that I deal
with with my clients all the time too like all the time they there is this
lack of understanding that just because you are addicted to heroin doesn't mean
you won't have a problem with alcohol I tell them all the time I see people come
in they come in from eff they come in they come back for alcohol they come in
for pain pills you know they come back for benzos you know we balance from one
thing to another because at the end of the day addicts and alcoholics we have a
problem dealing with life and we find anything and all sorts of toxic
behaviors to do things for some people it's gambling for some people sex some
people are shopping you know what I mean but like can you talk a little bit to
that like Anthony Bourdain was a recovering heroin addict and you showed
an article on Facebook where Anthony Bourdain says this and this is something
that you and I in the addiction field have to fight through every single day
where people say I'm a special case I'm a special case not many people can quit
not people can quit heroin and drink alcohol but I'm I'm special I'm
different can you talk a little bit about that by going from one substance
to another why that doesn't work well because it's so funny when he said
I'm an unusual case no dude at the end of the day you weren't unusual at all
it's a physiological issue it's a neurological issue yeah
located in the mesolimbic sisters so Anthony Bourdain could say whatever he
wanted but we as scientists and clinicians we know after the Bourdain
you have the same neuro-pathways the same structures and every other human
being as so the likelihood you're gonna play this off and be unusual is pretty
slim yeah well yeah my dad has diabetes like I relate addiction to diabetes a
lot like could you imagine if a diabetic was like no I just can't eat cake but
I'm a special case and I can eat a bunch of candy bars like it doesn't make sense
because like you're saying this is a physiological thing and like that's
something that I try to you know explain to clients like I do a lot of groups on
the brain science of this thing I'm like you react only to this substance like I
love you know even though there's a lot of anti 12-step people out there like I
love in the doctor's opinion where it relates it to an allergy that's when it
first clicked for me I'm like oh it's like an allergy like what kind of
lunatic would go and eat peanuts have an allergic reaction and then be like okay
well it's just these peanuts I can go have those peanuts like nobody in the
right mind would do that for some reason with addiction it is and like it makes
sense to me alcohol even you know recreational drug use it's so encouraged
by society and things like that like it makes sense that people you know they
try to they may go into this denial but something I also teach about is the
problem with the prefrontal cortex and the prefrontal cortex is therefore
logical decision making you know what I mean
so like I'm gonna do a video this week on this but like that's one of the
number one reasons for relapse is because people are incapable who have
addictions of making these logical decisions they need someone to guide
them they can't do this with their own thinking right but then we have a
society and family members that that have this distorted thinking to
they're making him sicker and yes I always hear you can only get sober and
want to get sober for yourself but I am a big proponent that we don't live on an
island alone right so I am holding a lot of other people responsible for these
deaths that I see yeah sorry do you do you think do you think that there's a
lot of people out there who want to get sober but their families like families
or friends purposely enable them because it might mean they have to change what
they're doing let me tell you the worst thing I see the worst thing I see in my
profession and trust me I consult on a weekly basis with families as that
everything has to change and they're not ready to go to any lengths
I have wives that want their husbands to change but they will not change their
drinking ever your wine at the house three times a week but they're adamant
that their husbands shouldn't drink what do they expect oh yeah a commitment from
the family from everybody and guess what we are self-centered human beings at our
core selfish and oh it's all about us this human issue it was so funny I'm
gonna tell you a funny story real quick my comments and some other people didn't
read but don't read my comments but I made a video the other day and I was
discussing this I said you know by nature we're selfish and self-centered
we immediately think of ourselves we've chorus we do this on a
subconscious level we don't even realize it so I say that statement and this
guy's in the comments he's like dude no disrespect but you literally just proved
my point we keep when you saw me say that you
immediately thought of yourself you think everything is directed towards you
everything so so here's the thing anybody else out there who is either
struggling with addiction and wanting to get clean or know somebody who should
get clean like let's talk about this do is it a necessity is it absolute
necessity that you need your family support in order to get so I don't like
absolutes Chris come on yeah okay nothing's absolute all right it sure
makes it a lot nicer and I think this to recidivate some rape for relapse is less
but is it ultimately has to be no of course not but come on you have to have
a support system there's a high likely that yeah yeah so what what should a
person do who doesn't have a supportive family let's say it's a mom dad a sister
a brother the brother wants to get sober everybody in that house drinks and uses
what should that person do everybody uses then that's where we get the person
to attach to a support group of clean and sober individuals like what like
what so we're gonna go there right now
okay well of course a 12-step program you about miss anonymous you have smart
recovery pick up where she left off this is gonna be a theme this week because
I've been doing weekly topics on the YouTube channel this week I'm gonna be
talking a lot about so this is one of my issues when it comes to people like that
who dislike support systems they say oh
you know do transcranial magnetic stimulation like people don't realize
that first off first off just saying those things 12-step programs are free I
don't know if people got the memo but a lot of addicts and alcoholics have
destroyed themselves financially most of them don't have insurance so unless
you're gonna like federally fund people to get transcranial magnetic stimulation
you need to step off but the second thing is
so many people do not have supportive family members they don't have that
supportive family so they need to get involved and I tell people I don't care
what program you work just work a program go to 12-step meetings go to
smart recovery refuge recovery I love that but these are people who will be
there to love and support you when the people who raised you and the people you
grew up around will not do the same you know so it's absolute little wet but it
just drives me nuts when people try to talk down on these support systems but
hang on Chris we all know that not one we call different treatments modalities
never do you just use one modality so even with magnetic stimulation you
always have to add another thing with it oh you just have one thing by itself
okay not you always add a plethora of different types of treatments yeah your
addiction let's talk about this real quick too because it's gonna help with
the topics I'm gonna talk about this week so with with the vast majority of
people struggling with addiction having a mental illness as well dual diagnosis
like do you feel that people even if they do fully embrace a 12-step program
or smart recovery or celebrate recovery or refuge recovery they should also be
seeing a therapist they need to be assessed for their for
the other we call that a dual diagnosis so you want to make sure what that other
diagnosis is and that needs to be treated in addition to their 12-step
program yes yeah no it was really interesting I might do a video on some
time I was watching this video about this guy he actually he lost two sons to
suicide and he was I don't know if you've heard of like that low-dose
ketamine treatment for depression that freaks me out but they do it once every
six weeks and they like these doctors were really good they said this is not a
fix this is not a cure you need to go go do psychotherapy as well you know what I
mean like they're like basically the cat the low-dose ketamine treatment
to get you to a place where you're not feeling suicidal where you're open up
kind of like what you do with neurofeedback you know getting them to a
place where they can start where other things start working even better right
and I don't let anyone do neurofeedback by itself in fact I won't treat people
unless they're doing counseling or 12-step program or medication management
I won't neurofeedback because I won't take their money like that yeah it won't
work yeah absolutely so so yeah yeah so yeah mom let's wrap
this up I'm gonna do without road stuff they don't know it's being weird and my
phone my battery's about to die but anyways anyways everybody we're gonna
wrap this thing up and thank you mom for coming and talking about this very
serious subject so yeah everybody if you've been paying
attention if you need help go get help without your family watch this video and
have them support you and help you out they can go to a therapist I can go to
al-anon and all sorts of stuff what what am I missing here mom what can the
family do or what should people do if I need to get help
well the family can get a consultation with an addiction treatment center
consultation again al-anon support there's other support groups in addition
ellinon for family members but i would say if they need help they can call a
treatment center to find out what they can do and feel free to reach out to me
on instagram at the rewired soul or twitter at the rear on soul or email me
the rewired soul at gmail.com if you need resources to go out and get that
help but again mom thank you thank you so much for joining me you're beautiful
and lovely as always but everybody we're out of here and
don't forget to subscribe if you haven't yet and we'll see you later