It's literally a glass of wine.
Yeah, I know.
You don't know words to anything ever.
No, you know that I just sing songs the way I hear them.
Like that Katy Perry song, Hot and Cold, when I thought
it was "I'm curry and you're glue"
for about six months...
Now tell them about the time where I swept you off your feet.
Excuse me! Excuse me!
How about you tell them the story of when I swept you off your feet?
I was the one who contacted you and said let's date.
Asked you on a date. Asked you out.
Yes, you came running.
Sexed you first.
Excuse me. How can you say that you did anything?
Because! - You did nothing.
I wooed you like a princess. - Excuse me, excuse me
I know. Now look at how the roles are reversed! - You are Rapunzel
Wait!
I was prince charming
I was the one who kissed you first. - Princess Charming
No!
Yes Rosie!! In the car park.
You were like.."you're gonna kiss me aren't you" - Only cause I let you.
Please!
I brought you flowers. - I took you..I
Excuse me. I payed for everything.
I bought all your drinks, I bought you flowers, I bought us tickets, I bought food
I took you to heaven.
It took you a month to take me to heaven.
I took you to heaven on the second date.
Ehm, excuse me. I wanted to make it perfect for you!
Ok, ok. No I'm telling you.
No I'm telling you!
No! I am telling you
Put your barriers down and just tell them that it's true
that I took you to heaven on our second date
and you didn't take me to heaven until a month later
Ok, it's "taking to heaven".
No I love it. We've said it now.
It's like that one time that you called "taking a shit" "laying a some cable"
And now every time it's I'm gonna lay some cable. I just layed some cable on your cable.
So Rosie sends me a private message on twitter saying
"Are you single?" And I'm like "Yeah, but you're not."
And you were like "Actually I am." and I was like "fresh wound, fresh wound"
You were like "Oh you naughty girl, you are not single."
And you said "You got a boyfriend!" And I was like "No I don't"
Aw, you remember my exact words!
You remembered my exact words!
Nice to know that you remember. I always feel like I remember more than you.
I remember I sext you a picture of my boobs when I was in uni.
I met Rose outside the cinema
at 8:30
brought her flowers
on a Thursday
the 20th of October
And, ehm. We were early for the film so we took Ro... I took Rose and her flowers
to Heroes
The bar - and bought her drinks all night
I was like "So Rosie do you come here often?" You loved that bit.
Yeah, that was funny. I was like "Yeah actually I do." -"Yeah I do actually, It's my local."
And, ehm, my, that's... We've mentioned it before but
Meg, who everyone has gone mad for
Sexy Meg
In our Birmingham meet and greet video
I've said it in another video. I call her sexy Meg
Sexy Meg was there, my good friend. She didn't realised I was on a date
And ehm, she came up to me and snogged me on the face
well tried to but she had red lipstick on so I sort of.., and I was on a date.
And there I was... It's alright though cause, let's be honest, a year later I kissed Meg.
I, I made you kiss Meg though.
I instigated that, not you.
You made us stop straight away.
Yeah, but I still... it's over now. I thought I'd get it over with.
We went back to the bar, got a bit drunk. Then I had to walk Rose to her car
I was drunk. She wasn't as drunk because she had to drive.
So I wasn't drunk at all, Rosie!
Well, you probably had like two, three drinks.
I had two gin and tonics.
Yeah, and I probably had five.
I walked Rose back to her car. And she lent against the car. Didn't get it.
And I said "You're gonna kiss me aren't you?"
She was like "Yeah." And she kissed me.
So I put my... put my knee in her crotch.
and she went "Ohhh!!" - That's bullshit! - No, that's not!!
That's bullshit! I did not moan! - And then, and then..
...Rose drove home and apparently I only knew this, found this out later
Fist Pumped on her way home. And I went clubbing.
We saw eachother two weeks later. Second date.
Ehhmmm.... I met you..
in the carpark - Yes
And...you bought me sweets - I bought you some sweets from the ehm...
from the history, National History Museum in London. -That's it.
And I took you..
cause it was around Halloween
cause it was obviously October
I took you to see fireworks, and we held hands and we watched the fireworks
and then I took you into mine
showed you around my flat. You loved it.
And...
you tried to sex me. And i was like "No, no, no!" Being a classy lady.
Bullshit!
You...We sat on your sofa,
we were watching daily Grace - Yeah, i got on you and kissed you
Listen, hold on one second please, let me finish this.
You showed me DailyGrace for the first time...
I didn't even know- - And Mamrie Hart and JennaMarbles...
Rosie, hold on
And then you got on me, started kissing me and I was like "Woah".
And then you made me get on you and you took my dress off.
I did not make you get on me. You got on me and you took your dress off.
Wow
And you were like "Oh, oh, take off your pants" and I was like "No." Cause I was good
That's such a lie! You were on your period!
Actually, I told you I was on my period.
Was that a lie?
Why? Didn't wanna fuck on the first date.
You could have just said that.
Nah! You would have been pushy.
Which one is the third date? Third date was when I had my lesbian denim on.
I rolled my video camera
And I said ehm... and... it was when - We made the video on the bed where I rocked up in my leggings.
Was it? - Yeah!
Ohh!
See! Didn't hold out for that long, did you?
Stop taking my glasses and my jumper and my virginity.
and the..
When did you first have sex ,how old were you?
I was 15 but I was almost 16. Almost.
I tried to wait until I was 16. I wanted to do it prom night.
Really? Romantic.
I asked him to prom. We were gonna go to prom together. And we ended up going out.
Ehm, and. We tried to wait till prom but...
We didn't make it. I was almost 16 and we were in a loving relationship. We were together for years after.
That's nice.
I was 17 and a half and I knew him six days
What? He was really hot!
Oh we can tell that now I'm doing the girlfriend tag I'm coming across classier than you actually
Damn it. You're right!
I fell into broken glass once nearly having sex.
I'm a tramp.
Anyway... Yeah I had sex in a Mini. As in the old fashioned Minis
Difficult. Made it happen.
Actually I didn't...
she didn't...
Did not happen
I was really disappointed... It was literally my second time having sex with a girl and she didn't you know
and I was like "What's wrong? What am I doing wrong?" And she was like "Nothing. It's just that, you know, we are in a public place in the middle of day and we are in my car."
And I was like "But still."
Don't knock the camera!
I've been really good, because I only ate ice cream and had diarrhoea three times this year
Like four times this year.
Sorry Rose. Did that wake you?
It woke, China.
"I think I need to fart" and I lifted up
Don't you remember when that guy said one thing to us when we were walking down the road
"You lesbians" We were like "Fucking what?"
"What? What do you want?"
We were chasing him down the road. We chased him.
"Fuck you! Fuck you!"
No, he was like "Lovers." And I was like "Yeah!"
And you were like "You got a fucking problem?"
When are we gonna have our Christmas Day?
Christmas Eve
Yeah, but what if I'm working? Which I think I'm going to.
But if you're working Christmas Eve you don't work all nicht until the morning, do you?
Well yeah.
Well if you are working until two in the morning we will have Christmas at two thirty in the morning.
Two in the morning? Yeah.
Have you ever fallen asleep during sex, because I have.
Never.
Oh I'm sorry. I forgot it was still going...
That's what she said.