June 1st is World Narcissistic
Abuse Awareness Day.
It's dedicated to educating and preventing
the psychological abuse caused by narcissism.
Most people may have heard about it, but
there's still a lack of awareness about it.
So our Wellness expert,
Doctor Heather Hans is joining
us this morning to help us out.
Good morning, Doctor Hans.
I love saying that, Doctor.
Yeah, by the way, Heather got her PhD.
Just. A couple weeks ago, Right.
Exactly. Yeah.
Well, congratulations once agai.
I'd love to say that.
So talk to us about narcissistic
abuse for people who may
have never heard this term,
What specifically does it entai?
Yeah, so people who have narcism
were didn't develop what's called ego
strength when they when they were little.
And ego strength is what allows
people to tolerate stress,
postpone gratification and curb selfishness.
And so they need constant
admiration and validation.
Some of them will use self pityo
get attention and they get very
angry when they don't get it ort
their way at all because they fl
entitled and they tend to blame
other people or situations on tr
own for their own unhappiness.
But the most dangerous part is that they
lack empathy and they exploit or
people for their own gain consciously.
And that's abusive.
And that kind of abuse can cause damage in
the victims of in the brains of victims.
So victims often cope by becomig
people pleasing to avoid further abuse,
and also by denying that the
situation is as bad as they fee,
and then even projecting more
positive traits onto the narcissistic
person than they might have.
And a lot of,
a lot of times people aren't
even aware that they're in these
situations because narcissism is
a very manipulative disorder.
So people tend to blame themsels
when they're abused.
It's so fascinating listening to you speak.
I imagine most people at home
that are watching this right no,
we have all dealt with this to a
degree in some form of fashion.
So to help protect ourselves from this,
how do we go about spotting thi?
And then other degrees to protet
ourselves? You're
absolutely right.
It's so bleak, but we all face ,
so we need to talk about it and.
The first thing is always
safety and boundaries.
Narcissistic people don't have
boundaries and they will target
people who are willing to bend
their own boundaries to make the
narcissistic person more comfortable.
So you can have empathy but also have
strong boundaries at the same t.
This is more about having the courage
to face the rejection that wille
from them when you do set boundaries.
Second thing is to really foster
your autonomy and individuality,
because narcissism can when you're when
you've been a victim of narcissistic abuse,
you can lose your identity.
And children of narcissistic parents tend
to be conditioned to conform and submit
so that they lose touch with who they are.
And a couple ways to foster
individuality is to know what
your values are and live by the,
and also make independent decis.
And then third,
third tip along those same lines
is to use your free will to dirt
your life in a healthy,
positive direction.
Because narcissistic people tend to want
the all the freedom that they can have,
but they want to control other people.
And anytime you're in that kind
of unfair or unequal relationsh,
that's a sign of a narcissistic dynamic.
So you want to disengage emotioy
and just focus your thoughts and
behaviors on what helps you feel well.
Terms of this ourselves,
it breaks our heart having this discussion,
but it's so important for the
people who have been through ths
or going through this or sadly e
people who will go through this,
where can they find that help?
Yes, it's a great point because
people can learn about narcissism and
that gives them a lot of insigh,
but it does not heal the complex
trauma that the abuse causes,
especially for children of
a narcissistic parents, so.
Trauma based therapies are what
helped with this and Sonder Mind
and Psychology Today are two
therapists networks here in Colo
and people can specifically look
for trauma based therapists the.
That's so helpful as somebody ws
gone to a trauma based therapis,
I can't recommend it enough for somebody who
has been in this situation to hear that.
Well, Heather, Hans,
thank you so much for being wit.
We always appreciate.
Thank you, Jordan. All right,
let's get check your forecast with that.