Learning how to manage stress has been a big focus of my life recently. This is
how my house looks today. Believe it or not, it doesn't stress me out. This is because cleaning
the main area of my house is a "not right now" item. Because I am finding refreshment
this morning through watering my house plants, having tea, and studying the Bible.
I have learned that there is so much more to do every day in life than I can accomplish,
and one thing is much more needful than having everything perfect—and that is
being at peace. One way that I find peace is by having "not today" items,
"not right now" items, and "just this much today" items.
I'm excited to talk to you about something that has really reduced stress in my
homeschool and in homemaking, which are two of my very favorite things in life.
It is easy to get overwhelmed when there's rice spilled on the floor,
when dishes need to be done, the garden needs weeding,
the playroom needs cleaning, and a sweet child's handwriting needs a lot of attention.
Most days, we just cannot accomplish all the things that need to be done, and that's okay,
but if leaving certain things undone makes us grumpy and unhappy, that's not okay. So
we can decide that some of the things that need to be done can be "not today" items. For example,
we can say cleaning the playroom is a "not today" item. Then, instead of being frustrated
every time I pass the playroom that day, I just know that it's not supposed to get cleaned that
day. It will get done, but not today, and that is totally fine. I probably want to clean up
the rice and do the dishes, so the rice doesn't get all over the floor and all over the house,
and so I have dishes to eat on. But what about the garden that needs an entire hour of weeding?
Well, we can't put everything on my "not today" list. I mean, some days we can. But it can be
helpful to take some things and say I'll do "just this much" today. So, for example, you could say
with weeding, "Weeding the garden is a "just this much" item." I will pull 100 weeds today,
or I will pull weeds for 15 minutes today. Something that is easily achievable and not
overwhelming. The garden weeding will get done within a few days that way. And what about your
child's handwriting that so desperately needs help? It's easy to be stressed if you think of
the whole load of what needs to be done for the desired end result. But we can't do it all in a
day anyway, so we can say "We will do this much: We'll work on G's and H for 10 minutes today."
or "We will do this much this week: We'll do one extra handwriting sheet each day."
Another part of this approach is making sure that we don't keep little but stressful things as "not
today" items for too long. Different things stress different people out. For example,
some people get stressed when beds are not made. Every time they walk by their room or their kids'
rooms and they don't see the beds made, it really stresses them out. For other people,
not having beds made doesn't stress them out at all. So notice what makes you feel stressed. Take
note of what makes you sigh or feel annoyed. For example, maybe you're stressed that your
child's handwriting is poor, or that your kids always leave their shoes in the family room,
or that you never have energy to do science at the end of the day like you want to. What
is bothering you? Write those things down and then fix them. We don't have to keep
being frustrated by all of those things. And sometimes the things that frustrate
us are so quick to fix but we just don't take the time to stop and take care of it.
For example, I had a pile of books on my closet floor recently that needed to be
put in a bin that was up on my closet shelf, but I was always in such a hurry that I just
didn't put the books away. And every time I would go into my closet—several times a
day—the books on the floor made me feel stressed. When I finally stopped weeks
later to put them away, I counted how many seconds it took me to put
them away—25 seconds! And I have probably walked in and out of that room 80 times,
and so 80 times I felt frustration for something that I could have just done in 25 seconds.
Obviously some projects are a lot bigger, but often there are quick things we can pick up,
quickly causing less stress than seeing that mess over and over again.
So, another example, for the past 6 months in my home, our mudroom has just been a disaster—shoes
everywhere. So finally, I just ordered baskets quickly on Amazon. I made some index card labels
with the kids' names on them, and we threw all the shoes in the right boxes, and the mudroom
has been so organized since then. It really was only like 15 minutes of effort, and yet again,
I have probably walked in and out of that room 900 times—literally—in the past 6 months and so
900 times I felt frustration for something that I could have just taken care of in 15 minutes!
These are simple things, but I hope they will be helpful to you. When you
feel your stress rising, consider saying this is a "not today" item,
or a "not right now" item, or a "I will do just this much" item.
May you be blessed. May you have joy in the incredible roles of motherhood, of homeschooling,
of homemaking. You probably don't realize just how much those things are refining you,
and molding you, and bringing you so much joy if you really look around and see it.
Take care and I will see you in the next video.