Is something gonna happen?
Holy shit, something's happening!
Is this how babies are born?
Holy fuck.
[Enemy spawn]
Dafuq was that?
Holy shit, whoa!
Get it. Get the drugs!
GET THE DRUGS!
Why you got all these...?
Why you got all these torches lit? Jesus!
Yeah I fucking - FINE, I'll quick save it, stop telling me.
There! Jesus Christ!
I'll do what you ask! Fuck.
Oh, get fucking face-fucked off of your fucking-
HOLY FUCK
Oh, fucking- I am unstoppable, now look at this.
Holy sh- oh my God!
There's a jump button?!
What the fuck? Whoa! What the fuck!?
Get the fuck off of me! Jesus!
Allllllright...
No, s-stop- no, stop. Asshole.
Where the fuck is it?
JESUS!
I have 8 fucking health.
Where do I get more health? I got a fucking million points though!
I'm glad I keep getting shells, let me just fucking use my shotgun,
I got- uh- located right here- no- [Stuttering]
I don't know- I don't know where I'm going.
I'm fucking lost, damned to be- oh, never mind, I got it...
IS THAT [LIFFENDALL]?!
Oh, that's a heart, that's a heart, that's a heart!
Fucking companion cube, bitch!
I'm aware Sam might be quite serious, but is he serious enough to
JUMP ON TOP OF FUCKING WATER!?
Stop- fucking doing that.
Oh, fuck yes!
YEYEYEYEYEYEYUUUUH
D'oh my God!
These fucking- HOLY CRAP!
WOW, HOLY SHIT, YOU GIVE A GUY A SHOTGUN AND WHAT THE FUCK?!
Oh my God, haven't been saving like an hour like a fucking idiot...
OH MY GOD
I never hit the Y button.
[Contemplating his existence] I never hit the fucking Y button...
Holy shit!
Ah, fuck!
GODDAMMIT STOP- F-FUCKING OPENING THE MENU
This is- is just like a clusterfuck of a hallway. It's death alley.
Oh my God...
[Super Saiyan]
It's the fuckin' year 2104, was it? Is that what the prologue said?
I'm using fucking two goddamn six-shooters? Give me a fuckin' laser gun, holy shit!
OH MY GOD, whoa, what the fuck? Whoa, holy shit!
Oh wow, great... -_-
Fuckin' [bellhops] waiting for me right at the top of the elevator!
Fuck me, I'm fucked again,
I'm fucked again, (x2)
I'm fucked again, (x3)
I'm fucked AGAIN (x4)
All right, take it nice and easy...
Fuck,
fuck, (x2)
fuck, (x3)
fuck, (x4,5)
fuck, (x6,7,8)
fuck, (x9,10,11)
fuck, (x12,13)
Jesus fuck. (x14)
I- fucking can't do anything, but just strafe and run around and hope that the bullets don't hit me-
Oh, I'm out of fucking shotgun shells, that's fantastic.
Every time with the horse... Every time with the horse thing...
I CAN'T GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM IT
Oh my- [Constipated noise]
JESUS FUCKING- COME ON
Wow... Wow... Just fucking wow...
That chainsaw guy had no fucking head.
There is fucking nowhere for you to take cover in this fucking room!
It is just like a death chamber!
[You OK, Michael?]
Fuck, these things are fucking flying all over the place.
Why can I even jump? It doesn't do shit!
COME ON ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!
Sam, Jesus Christ! I'm glad you're in a goddamn fucking tomb because at least when you die,
they just kick your fucking body in a sarcophagus!
You'll be buried around with fucking gold and treasures and shit, cuz I know you don't have it in your miserable fucking life,
Because you can't get out of this one goddamn room. It's the first fucking level of the game!
There's like 4,000 fucking monsters and fucking- horse bones and sh-
I- I don't know what that are and there's like headless chainsaw guys and shit,
I'm runnin' around with a shotgun. I'm- I'm like from the fucking 12th century!
How the fuck did all three of those guys die? All three of them died in one shot,
but every other time I got to fire 500,000 bullets- to fucking kill these assholes?
Where's the fucking consistency!?
Is that it? Is that it?
Is that it...?
GODDAMMIT
I- FUCK THIS
FUCK THIS
F U C K T H I S