[Music]
good morning children today in order to
keep up with the yearly tradition we set
up to give you an authentic french
recipe we are going to make la quiche
now i know what you're thinking you've
heard it before
real men do not eat the quiche and
that's okay you don't have to eat
lukeish you can just make lakish and
have your girlfriend eat it here we go
let me give you the list of ingredients
you're going to need some eggs because
that's the principal ingredient couple
bowls whisk stuff to measure stuff to
measure liquids you need nutmeg do not
skimp on the nutmeg and of course a
bottle of white wine and assorted glass
now
i know a lot of people who insist on
making quiche with red wine i'm no
longer friends with those people also it
seems that some unscrupulous wine
merchant
felt it was okay to sell me a wine with
a screw cap
i think that's in very bad taste
we shall see what happens
the wine of course needs to breathe for
the recipe
[Music]
to be able to achieve the magic of
lakisha need a few more ingredients that
are sleeping in the fridge at this
moment bacon
lots and lots of cream
milk
oh and cheese
can't have too much cheese
the first thing to do is to cut the
bacon in small cubes they are called
lardon which means small bacon if you
will
for those of you who live in places
where the bacon comes only in very very
thin strips made of 98 fat this is what
bacon is supposed to look like
at this point it's a good idea to
preheat the oven especially if you have
an electric oven like i do that takes
eight and a half hours to get the
temperature
the temperature you're looking for is
250 degrees celsius now i personally
have given up on fahrenheit degrees but
it seems that the entire nation is still
hanging onto that old system so let's
get a conversion going
yo 250 degrees celsius in
fahrenheit degrees fahrenheit right i
knew that 482 let's go
that was a lot of work we deserve
compensation
cheers
now while the oven heats up i propose we
pan the bacon a little bit just to give
it a little more flavor i've seen people
put grease inside the pan that they're
going to fry bacon with not sure i see
the point of that
in the meantime
we're going to make the quiche machine
otherwise known as aparei aquish sounds
complicated it's not for each aparia
quiche you need three eggs
then that's where the other ingredients
come in
you need 30 centiliters of cream now i
won't bore you with a conversion it's
about this much the whole thing and you
also need about as much of milk
300 milliliters which is 30 centimeters
which is many other things to many
people
voila
now this is a crucial part of the recipe
where you realize that you've taken a
container that is way too small for what
you're trying to do
and you're gonna have to change it to a
bigger container it never fails to
happen and to celebrate this moment it's
always a good idea to have a bit of wine
[Music]
now the goal is to mix the milk the egg
and the cream smoothly to make a great
aparayakis or quiche machine
it's time to season the machine
since we are making what we call a
quiche loren all you need is nutmeg
pepper
and salt for the salt about
this much ish
pepper
somewhere around here
and for the nutmeg i'd say about a
truckload a truckload is a little less
than a boatload but more than a car load
this is kind of a small truckload
and then you mix again
i can clearly hear the bacon complaining
let's go check it out
all right it's fine turn it off
now all this stuff is gonna have to go
into some sort of a pie crust
real men make their dough from scratch
transfer into a pie pan bake it and
everything less real men buy it directly
from the store already made that's what
we're gonna do today
now don't be fooled they tend to give
you two well sell you two
which gives me an idea we'll talk about
that later
here's a crucial moment where you
actually make the actual
quiche and all you have to do is take
the bacon and put it at the bottom of
the pie
next you take the quiche machine
and you do a last twirl if it's been
sitting for a while
and you pour it on top
all right
there is no need to fill it all the way
to the top otherwise it's going to be
hell to take it to the oven after voila
one last thing you need to do is put
some cheese on top what kind of cheese
good question thank you for asking grier
elemental
anything that sounds exotic and that's
kind of nutty in flavor
ham and cheese
i don't know
as much as you can stand
oh what the hell here we go
now i'd like to remind you that what
we've done today is gone to the store
and buy a ready-made pie crust bought
three eggs some bacon cream milk and
some cheese put it all in the crust and
put it in the oven
easier would be painful so next time you
go to a fancy restaurant and they want
to charge you 12.95 for a piece of
quiche
get the burger
side note another great thing that akish
is great at is saving you butt when you
invite your significant other over for
dinner and you forget about it
let me show you
we shall use the second pie crust for
this exercise
now we have the pie crust
we have three eggs left we have cream
lots of cheese left and we have some
milk left
what are we going to put in there
very simple whatever's in your fridge
let me show you
what do we have here well we have smear
enough ice that's not going to work
parmesan condition no more eggs we don't
need eggs whole chicken not going to
work mac does cupcakes not going to work
ah
two old tomatoes perfect
all garlic perfect
you could use this with something real
ah
an old half onion
perfect whole piece of mozzarella sold
ooh basil yeah organic too fantastic
let's go and mix this up
we're going to fast forward through most
of this because it's going to get boring
otherwise i'll just stop for the
important stuff tips and tricks
severe the garlic from the mother thingy
make sure if there's anything green to
remove it otherwise it makes your quiche
bitter
cheese
mixed strips
about that size
if you're going to use tomatoes
especially older more seasoned tomatoes
make sure you remove the liquidy stuff
otherwise it ruins the quiche
in this case it seems that one old
tomato will be enough
onions onions can be a problem us real
men and less real men
do not like to cry so cutting an onion
can make you cry one of the tricks to
get rid of that problem is to cut your
onion under water you just turn the
water on put your cutting board under
the water and you cut it there and you
don't cry
the other trick for real men is to use
machinery that's what i'm going to do
today
you put the thing in
like this
clear
hey what up onions without crying
now obviously you're not going to put
the raw onions and garlic in the quiche
so you want to fry those a little bit so
they soften and it tastes good
one more time we're feeling
same thing three eggs
bunch of cream
30 centiliters you look it up
bunch of milk 25 30 centiliters you look
it up
mix it up this bowl is too small i don't
have a big enough bowl for this exercise
pepper
salt
nutmeg no no nutmeg nutmeg and basil
together are positively disgusting
let's create some more cheese
how much cheese
i don't know how much is he can stand
transfer the onions from the pan into
the pie crust organize them how you want
them even it out so that everybody gets
a good bite
next let's put the machine in the crust
at this point i'm going to try and see
if i can salvage some of this basil
it's a good idea to mince your basil
all right final touch
oh no
to keep things healthy
mozzarella
it's fun to do it this way
yeah should be fine
let's put these puppies in the oven
cooking time for these wonderful quiches
is about 30 minutes which in america is
miraculously also 30 minutes
at this point it's a good idea to clean
up the bloody mess you just made
wow it's a nice
to make sure that la quiche is cooked
all you need is a knife and you stab it
pull it out if the knife comes out clean
you're good to go now it's in good taste
to wait a few minutes for the quiche to
settle and cool off it's no fun to burn
your tongue on the first bite and ruin
all subsequent bites at this point i
will vacate the premises to make sure i
am not tempted to take the first bite
that will burn my tongue and i will tend
to extract curricular activities until
it's time to eat lakisha et voila
[Music]
you