- A question that I get quite often in the comments
is Frank, do you believe in soulmates?
Is there one person out there who's meant for me,
and I'm meant for them?
If you're like me, you see a lot of meaning in the world
perhaps even if it's not there.
I think humans just naturally want
to think that things mean things,
that the world isn't meaningless,
that there is some rhyme and/or reason behind things.
And so soulmates is the same thing
because picking a lifelong partner
is a really daunting task
and if you think about it, is really kinda crazy.
It's like okay, young person,
pick someone that you're gonna stay with
for the next 50, 60, 70 years.
Good luck with that.
Like if you said pick a car you're gonna stay with
for the next 50 years, I wouldn't wanna do it.
If you said pick a house you wanna stay in
for the next 50 years,
I don't know that I would wanna do it.
So when it's like pick a person,
and people, man, they are unpredictable, you know?
At least if you're buying a house or a car,
you can more or less predict what's gonna happen with it.
A person, you don't know.
They could go crazy, I don't know,
but by saying this person's my soulmate
or there's a soulmate for me out there,
it makes it less frightening, pants S-ing frightening,
because we're like oh, but we're meant to be together.
It's not just arbitrary.
It's not just some random person
that came along into my life.
They were meant to come into my life.
And so it makes us feel a little less anxious
about making that decision
because as you get into the dating pool,
or don't even go into the dating pool.
Just open your eyes and look outside.
There's a lot of people in the world,
so you start to realize that
this is very arbitrary and random,
the people that you come across in life.
The people who come into your life
you have zero control over.
It's totally random, and so when you become aware of that,
when it comes to dating, you start to think things
like wow, this just means whoever I end up picking
is gonna just be some random person.
It becomes more apparent I think if you go on dating apps
because then you see a bunch of strangers,
and you're like well, here's who I have to choose from,
but they're all strangers, and it just feels odd, you know?
I think we get a little bit less anxious about it
when it's like oh, this person I went to school with
or this person is a friend of a friend or whatever
even though those people are still random.
They just came into your life without any control.
You had no control over it.
You didn't create the person that came into your life.
This is obvious stuff, right?
But when you start to really think about it,
it's crazy, man. (laughs)
I felt like I was Kramer saying that for a minute.
When you think about it, this is crazy.
So then if this is all arbitrary and random,
the people in your life,
then the person that you choose as your partner
is just the first arbitrary person who came along
who you gave enough time to
to have some shared experiences with and bond with and yeah.
That doesn't sound very satisfying
compared with this is your soulmate, dude,
'cause when you think about it,
there are probably many people
who you could marry and have a lifelong partnership
if you both tried.
If you were forced into it
and you both were committed to it,
there are many, many people
that you could make it work with.
And so that's why it does feel a little bit
like well, when do I just pick?
Who do I know who to pick if it could work with anybody?
I mean I'm making it sound very easy,
but it really just comes down to the willingness
to make it work in a way.
So it just feels a lot better during this search
to think that God is just gonna come along
and tap us on the shoulder and say hey, this is the one.
It's your soulmate, buddy.
Or if not God, at least I will just know.
You hear that a lot.
You'll just know when you find the person.
You'll just feel something, and you'll know.
And I think it's a lot easier to judge feelings
like I feel very butterfly sensation-y
in my stomach right now
more so than with this other person,
so that means this person is the right one for me
rather than doing some kind of analytical, logical thing
about who would be the best partner.
It's easier to judge based on the feelings meter,
and so I think that's another reason
why the soulmate and you just know and it's the one
and I can feel it, it's destiny, that is very appealing
'cause it just seems simpler and easier.
It's cleaner.
It doesn't feel as much like we have a lot to do with it.
We can't make a mistake because it's chosen for us.
It puts you at ease.
Now I seem to be ragging on soulmates,
and a lot of you have probably clicked off the video already
and said Frank didn't believe in soulmates.
This guy sucks.
That wasn't the answer I wanted to hear.
But I do think there are, in a way, soulmates
in terms of personality.
Now you know on my channel, I talk about personality theory,
the personality types, and all that,
and I'm not gonna get into exactly what types fit together,
but I do think there is something to that.
That your personality is born into you
and that there are other people out there
with totally complementary personalities,
and with these people, theoretically,
your personalities are perfect together.
Now personality isn't everything, though.
These people could be compatible in that way
but not have the same values as you,
not have any common interests.
You might not be able to even speak the same language.
So it's a matter of finding these people
who have this totally complementary personality
but also have some of the stuff
that really makes a relationship work.
You like to do the same things.
You have similar backgrounds
so that you can relate to each other, you see?
So in a way, I do think that there are soulmates,
people who we are ultra compatible with
who it will just seem like it clicks when you find them.
However, I don't think that it's necessarily
always gonna be this light bulb moment
or this flood of feeling or God tapping you on the shoulder.
It takes some time.
With anybody, it takes time to feel out who they really are,
what their personality is, and if they truly mesh.
So I don't want you to think you can just go out there
and instantly have love at first sight
with your so-called soulmate
depending on personality compatibility,
but I do think that sort of thing is out there.
But I do not think that we are destined
to be with specific people.
I don't think that you're destined
to be with Robbie Jones from Grand Rapids, Michigan.
I think it's a little looser than that,
but there definitely is something
about you were made a certain way,
and there are other people who were made
in a very complimentary way to you,
and you need to find those people,
and the way you do it is by going out there,
meeting a lot of people,
and figuring out what personality traits work for you
and what don't so that you can build a picture in your head
of who your soulmate is.
What is that perfect personality
that is perfectly compatible with yours?
It is a bit of grunt work.
It's a bit of going out there, seeing what's out there,
what all the quirks of personality that there are.
I didn't say it was gonna be easy.
See, it's much easier to believe in soulmates.
Yeah, nevermind, soulmates are real.
You don't have to do any work.
They'll just show up on your doorstep one day.
Oh, there he is.
There's, what was his name, Robbie Jones from Grand Rapids.
He's knocking on my door.
He's coming to talk to you.
That's all I got for now.
Check out some more videos that I made on YouTube.
Smash like if you enjoyed the video.
Subscribe if you wanna see more videos like this and others,
and until next time, stay cool and attractive.