[ ding ] >> whoo! >> yes
>> yeah. [ laughter ] >> let's go.
>> yeah! >> it's wonderful to see my betiful cast mates on this
technological approach to trying to do a live show. So -
>> and live from zoom, it's sometime between March and August
>> yeah! >> this is crazy let's do this.
♪ >> announcer: It's "Saturday night live" at home with -
musical guest, chris martin. And your host, tom hanks ladies and gentlemen, tom hanks.
[ cheers and applause >> hey, hey. Aho, woah.
Thank you, thank you that is some sound effect of applause and whistles.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, engineers
hey, all you cool cats and kittens. It's me your old pal
and don't worry, don't be afraid this shaved head was just for a
movie. And my hair is growing back very slowly
it does save time in the shower, so I don't know, maybe we should all do it, huh
hey, it's good to be here, though it is also very weird to be here hosting "Saturday night
live" from home. It is a strange time to try to be funny, but trying to be funny
is "snl's" whole thing, so we thought, what the heck let's give it a shot
but, why me as host? Well, for one, I have been the celebrity canary in the coal
mine for the coronavirus and ever since being diagnosed I have been more like america's
dad than ever before since no one wants to be around me very long, and I make people
uncomfortable. Now, I was diagnosed back in March with the coronavirus
I was first diagnosed down in australia. Now, the folks in australia are
fantastic in every way, but they use celsius instead of fahrenheit when they tick your
temperature. So, when they came in and say, "you're 36," which seems very
bad to me. It turns out 36 is fine. 38 is bad.
So basically, it's how hollywood treats female actors but, now my wife and I are --
we're doing fine we're doing great. We're hunkered down like all of
us should be and in fact, this suit, this is the first time I've worn
anything other than sweat pants since March 11th my wife had to help me put it
on, because I forgot how buttons work, but it turns out there's these little disks and they
slide into these slots amazing. Now, this "Saturday night live"
is going to be different for one thing, it is has been filmed by the "snl" cast who are
currently quarantined in their homes just like this well, I mean, not like this
home their homes are a little more like -- you know, I'm going to
let you be the judge of that also, there's no such thing as saturdays any more
it's just, everyday is today and we're not really live, but we are doing everything we can
to make this feel like the "snl" you know and love. I am even using cue cards, see
I am even using cue cards. Just riff, baby. That's what I'm doing.
So, tonight I can do everything a host does during a normal "snl."
I can even do that old chestnut, the question and answer monologue.
Let's see, does anyone have any questions? Yes.
You, sir how about you? >> I have a question for
mr. Hanks. I can't help but notice that you are in excellent shape
what is the secret of your physical regiment? >> I, you know, come on, I just
try to stretch a couple times a week and go easy on the carbs and the cookies.
Thank you though anybody else yes.
You, sir >> hello, hello. I got a question for tommy,
tim-tam. What's a right proper way to get a daily dose of your vegemite?
>> all right, enough of that well, we have a great show for you tonight.
Now, is it going to look a little different than what you're used to
yes. Will it be weird to see sketches without big sets and costumes?
Sure, but will it make you laugh? Ehh, you know, it's "snl."
you know, there will be some good stuff, maybe one or two stinkers
you know the drill but, let's go. Hey, stay safe
we are in this for the duration and we will get through this together
we are going to thank our hospital workers, our first responders and all the helpers,
the supermarket stockers, the people who deliver our food, the people who are making takeout
for us, the men and women who are keeping this country going at a time when we need them more
than ever before so, we're going to take care of them and we're going to take
care of each other so, let's try to now just enjoy the show
we will be right back. ♪