( bright, upbeat music )
We're back!
And there's three of us.
Now you may remember him from such things
as earlier in this show,
it's Jack Douglass of Jacksfilms.
Now, we're a big fan of how you have developed
formats for your channel.
Thank you.
And one of the biggest is when you fix stuff.
Sure, sure.
So we thought maybe we could do a little collab
where we fix some stuff together.
Not Twitter bios, but go in a little different direction.
That's right.
We're gonna be fixing some fast food slogans.
Burger King, you've heard of them.
Their slogan is...
I think it's time for a little update.
How about "Burger King..."
( laughter )
They're crawling in that place.
Wow.
All right, let's assess Taco Bell, shall we?
Their slogan is "Live Más."
But this is their new slogan:
"Taco Bell..."
Yeah, why?
Come on over, come on over, I'll tell you.
Fuddruckers. We all know it.
"The World's Greatest Hamburgers."
That's their current slogan.
I got a better one for you.
"Fuddruckers..."
( laughter )
Right? 'Cause let's be real. Like, what are they?
I can't even say that word, I'm not gonna try.
It's, you know, it doesn't roll off the tongue.
I stay away from it.
Okay...
I think this is getting a little stale.
It's time for a new slogan.
"Subway..."
- Ooh. - Ooh!
- ( grunting ) - Ooh.
- I'll leave now. - Dang!
( laughter )
No, I won't, I'm coming back.
All right, let's move on to Wendy's.
Their slogan is...
But let's fix that.
"Wendy's..."
They're like really weirdly proud of that.
- Yeah, they are, yeah. - Link: Yeah.
Like, what does that do to the taste?
It has corners. You can taste the corners.
The corner is good, though, you gotta admit.
- That's true. - Link: Yeah.
It is good.
Jack:
A great one.
You know, a solid foundation for a catchphrase.
Try this, though:
- ( laughter ) - Yeah, they do.
That's true, I hate running.
Rhett:
I think this is a little pretentious.
- Link:
Rhett:
- Ouch. Ouch. - Aww.
Bye, Dad.
That's why he's working so hard,
to put burgers down our face.
Trying to win the approval of his father.
- Aren't we all, man? - Yeah.
Let's think about that for a while.
Yeah.
Dad, are you watching?
I've got a new fix for Arby's slogan.
Their slogan right now is...
But we fixed their slogan.
"Arby's..."
- Yeah. - Mm.
That's more like it.
That's a little, it's a little long.
Wordy, but accurate.
Be difficult to fit on a cup.
They can sell sweatpants, though.
Call us, Arby's.
Jack:
Their better slogan?
( laughter )
That's a definite improvement.
Yeah, I think so, I think so.
Okay, Chick-Fil-A, you've heard this one.
"Chicken" is misspelled, like it looks like the cows did it.
- Jack:
Oh. Oh.
Ugh.
All right, let's assess Pizza Hut.
Their current slogan is...
-
Rhett:
Link:
"Pizza Hut..."
- Oh. - ( laughter )
- Oh. - Oh.
Speaking of pizza...
"...Papa John's," an old standby for sure.
- Link:
- Oh! - Am I right?
You are right.
And then their sales plummeted, whoo!
Papa needs to stay in his lane.
Amen.
Okay, here's a new restaurant, McDonald's.
That's the slogan. Here's the new one.
( laughter )
An abomination, that's what he is.
Do you know what he is?
- An abomination to God Himself. - Hold on, let me see the 50 bucks.
- If you can tell me what he is. - I wanna see the 50 first.
- I'm not McDonald's. - I don't know what he is.
A blob of purple, I really don't know.
Yeah, yeah.
Link:
Until now, 'cause this is their new slogan: "Popeyes..."
( laughter )
Okay.
Can you explain that one? Yeah, yeah.
What's their commercial like, man?
They think that, they think that, not me.
It's just a suggestion.
- We're just throwing it out there. - Right.
Jack:
New slogan, "Long John Silver's..."
- 'Cause... - ( laughter )
How about, "Sonic...
New slogan, "Sonic..."
Yeah, every time.
And what about the roller skates?
Didn't they do that at one point?
They did! Or was that Checker's?
- No, they had them. - They had them?
- Okay. - They got rid of them.
Link:
We got a new slogan for you, Chipotle.
Fewer syllables.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
And last, for all you southern folk,
Link: Mm-hmm.
"Bojangles..."
How about this one?
"Bojangles..."
- Oh. - Oh, God!
That didn't feel good saying that.
That one's deep, man.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Hey, I think we've done very good work.
- Yeah, I think, hey. - We've done a good thing.
Hey, slogans, fix your slogans.
Yes, okay, click on through.
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