How's your family life?
Would you describe the relationships
in your family as healthy?
If not, then you're actually in pretty good company.
Have you ever noticed how difficult it is
when you read the Bible to find a family
that we would describe as healthy?
Instead it's way easier to find family dysfunction.
Today I want to talk about lying in the family.
What are the consequences?
Maybe you've heard the story of the father
who wanted to teach his son the destructiveness
of lying and so he took a new board
and he pounded 10 nails into that new board
and he told his son, "Son, these nails
represent the lies that you told.
I want you to fix the lies by taking out the nails."
I want you to fix the lies by taking out the nails." And, so the son did.
And, so the son did.
Afterward, the father asked him,
"So were you able to fix the lies?"
"So were you able to fix the lies?" And the son said, "Well,
And the son said, "Well,
the nails are gone,
but the scars are still there."
He got the point.
Trust.
The foundation of the family is destroyed in lying.
Feelings are hurt.
Lives are changed.
Relationships are strained or destroyed.
Just think of the impacts that lying
has had on your family.
Now when I think about lying in the Bible,
I think about Jacob.
Jacob, actually his name came to be known as "deceiver,"
it came to mean "deceiver."
Jacob's grandpa was Abraham.
His dad was Issac and even though
Jacob wasn't the oldest in his family
God had said that the birthright
and the line of the Savior was going to go
right through Jacob's line.
The problem is that Issac
wanted to give the birthright
to Esau, Jacob's older brother
and so Jacob and his mother devised this scheme
to trick Issac into giving the birthright to Jacob
and deceiving Issac and it worked.
Now how do you think that made Esau feel?
The Bible says that he was so angry
that he vowed to kill Jacob once his father had died
and it forced Jacob to flee to another country.
Now hopefully the lying in your family
and the impacts of that lying has not reached those levels.
But finally that's where lying leads to.
So what do we do?
We need to listen to the words of the one
who never lies when he speaks.
Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth
Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth "and the life."
"and the life."
Listen to the truth
tell us through the Apostle John,
"If we claim to be without sin,
"we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful
"and just and will forgive us our sins
"and just and will forgive us our sins "and purify us from all unrighteousness."
"and purify us from all unrighteousness."
I love the way the Bible says it there.
It doesn't say he is faithful and loving,
though it certainly could have.
No, Jesus will forgive your sins
because he is faithful and just.
Jesus already paid for every one of your sins on the cross.
He says that it would now be unjust
for him not to forgive you,
that would be like requiring a double payment.
No, your sins have already been paid for.
And so what do we do now?
Well if you're the one who has lied,
confess that sin.
knowing that Jesus has forgiven it.
If you're the one that's been lied to,
well remember that that sin's been paid for.
Do with it what Jesus does:
forgive it.
Let's pray.
Dear Jesus,
you are the truth and whatever you say is true.
Comfort me with the knowledge that my deception's forgiven.
Use that forgiveness to empower me
to forgive anyone,
especially my family members
when they lie to me.
In your name we pray.
Amen.
This week, we're talking about
the imperfect family. And today,
specifically about favoritism.
So, who's the favorite in your house?
Is it you?
When I was growing up, I was blessed
to grow up in a house with very little
perceived favoritism from my mom and dad
to any individual child.
Even if I would try to convince my mom
to say that I was her favorite,
she would just kiss me on the forehead and say,
she would just kiss me on the forehead and say, "You are my favorite David George Scharf."
"You are my favorite David George Scharf."
Okay, I guess I'll take it.
But even in my house it was impossible for my parents
to avoid all perception of favoritism.
If my siblings are watching this,
we know who the charmed child is.
I'm not going to say the name.
But for the parents watching this,
I guess I'd encourage you to ask yourselves,
"How are you doing in this area?"
Do you unintentionally show favoritism
to one child over another?
I mean, the tough thing is that, each child,
we need to treat as an individual,
and it's difficult for a child to understand
that different treatment
doesn't necessarily mean favoritism.
But you know what, sometimes it is favoritism,
even if we don't like to look at it in those terms.
Yesterday, we saw how Jacob had deceived his father, Isaac,
and stole the birthright blessing.
Well eventually, in time,
Jacob was blessed with a huge family.
He had 12 sons.
But he doted on the 11th son
because that 11th son, Joseph,
was the first born son of his favorite wife, Rachel.
Are you seeing a little problem with Jacob's personality?
So when Joseph was about 17 years old,
Jacob decided to buy him a richly ornamented robe.
The kind that foremen would wear.
In other words, his father was saying,
"You're no longer going to be a grunt-worker in the field,
you're going to be in charge."
Now none of his other brothers received a robe like that.
How do you think that made them feel?
Tomorrow, we're going to talk
about the green-headed monster of envy.
But for today,
how do we avoid giving the impression
of favoritism to people?
Well, how did our Savior?
Jesus came into this world looking for someone.
He was looking to call to himself
the rich person as well as the poor.
He was looking to correct the self-righteous Pharisee
as well as the common sinner.
Do you see what I'm getting at?
Jesus came looking just for the world,
and therefore just for you.
And what Jesus did for you by dying on the cross,
he did not just for you, but also for the world.
And so every person in our lives
is individually special to God.
Yes, you are special to God,
and taking nothing away from that relationship,
we also understand that each person
is precious in God's sight.
And so, treat every person in your life,
especially parents to children,
as the special object of your love,
and people will not think that you play favorites.
Instead, they'll know that you love them
as much as they can be loved.
Let's pray.
Dear Jesus, thank you for loving me
as well as the whole world.
Teach me through that all encompassing love,
to reflect that in my relationships with others.
Amen.
Today our imperfect family deals with envy.
So Joseph was Jacob's favorite son,
but Joseph was not the oldest son,
not by a long shot.
He was actually number 11 of 12.
Anybody from a big family knows the rule
that you have to understand your rank in the family
and you cannot mess with a higher rank.
So here's how it works.
I'm number seven of 14 in my family.
That means that I cannot mess with number five
because if I mess with number five,
then numbers one through six are going to gang up on me.
However, if I want to mess with number nine,
fine, you just can't mess with a higher rank.
Well, after Joseph got that richly ornamented coat
from Jacob,
his brothers got really envious
and the Bible says that they hated Joseph
and they couldn't say a kind word to him.
Literally, it says they couldn't say shalom to him.
Shalom is the Hebrew way of saying hi.
They were so envious of him
that they couldn't even say hi to him.
Well, to make matters worse,
Joseph had these dreams,
and one of the dreams, the brothers were gathering grain
and their sheaves of grain bowed down
to Joseph's sheave of grain.
Now if you are number 11 of 12 and you have this dream,
what do you do?
Remember the rule.
You keep your mouth shut.
This first time, I think we can chalk it up to
Joseph's being naive.
But what does he do?
He blabs it to his brothers
and you could just picture the scene.
Crickets are chirping as he's excitingly telling the story,
there's a big smile on his face,
total deadpan on the brother's faces.
Let's put it this way.
They were not as excited about Joseph's story
and his dream as he was.
But then, Joseph had another similar dream
and he did it again.
And the brothers got so envious
that their envy showed itself in conspiring
to murder their brother,
in instead selling him into slavery,
and then for the next 22 years, lying to their father,
letting him think that a wild animal
had ripped Joseph apart.
Now, maybe it hasn't gotten to that point in your family,
the envy, and I pray it has not,
but that's finally where envy leads.
Envy is trying, is going to end up leading us to try
to unfairly and sinfully take what somebody else has.
Understand that the root cause of envy,
it's us blaming God that he hasn't given us
what we think we deserve.
And thank God, he doesn't treat us that way.
No, instead, this is what scripture says.
"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
"that though he was rich,
"yet for your sake he became poor,
"so that you through his poverty might become rich."
Jesus, the one with everything.
Gave up everything.
Even his own life on a cross
so that you could have everything.
That you have a savior in Jesus who loves you.
Who provides for you.
Who listens to your prayers and answers them.
Who forgives your sins.
Who works all things out for your good.
and oh yeah, by the way,
has a room with your name on it waiting for you in Heaven.
What could we have to be envious about?
Let's pray.
Jesus, show me your grace in my life
and I will never be envious again, Amen.
We've been talking about family dysfunction
and the imperfect family this week.
Today I'd like to talk about self-esteem.
So yesterday we saw Jacob had 12 sons.
How did that happen?
Well, he had more than one wife.
You see, Jacob's uncle was a deceptive man named Laban.
And Laban had two daughters, Leah and Rachel.
The Bible describes Leah as having weak eyes,
which is a euphemistic way of saying
that she wasn't very attractive
while Rachel was beautiful.
Jacob loved Rachel and he agreed to work
for seven years for Laban
if he could just have her hand in marriage.
And so after the seven years of labor
which veiled daughter did deceptive Laban
send in to the bridal tent?
Well, his weak eyed daughter, Leah.
And when Jacob found out about it the next day
he was outraged
and he confronted Laban
and he worked out a deal where he could marry Rachel.
Finally he had his favorite wife.
How do you think that made Leah feel?
Well, she had low self-esteem.
And it only caused her to have a competitive relationship
with her sister, Rachel, for the rest of their lives.
Do you struggle with self-esteem?
I actually don't know how a person
can't struggle with self-esteem.
Here's why I say that:
because self is the problem.
That because we're sinful and have sinful thoughts
I'm not sure how a person can have high self-esteem.
Because even Isaiah, a prophet, says,
"Even our righteous acts are like filthy rags."
And so I really don't like that term self-esteem
because I don't think anyone can have high self-esteem.
So are we doomed?
Well no, we just need to get our esteem from another place.
You are more valuable
You are more valuable than the most valuable diamond ever found.
than the most valuable diamond ever found.
You are worth the blood of Jesus,
the priceless blood of Jesus.
And do you know why you're worth that?
Because that is what Jesus was willing
to pay to win you,
to make you his own.
So now, it really doesn't matter
what other people say about you.
That can't affect your esteem.
It doesn't even matter what you say about you.
That cannot affect your esteem.
The only thing that matters
is what God says about you.
And do you know what God says about you
because Jesus made you his own?
He looks at you and says of you what he says of his son.
"This is my child, whom I love, with you I am well pleased."
Now that's Christ esteem.
Let's pray.
Dear Jesus, continue to show me how valuable I am to you.
Only then will I truly see my worth in your eyes.
Amen.
Today we talked about self-esteem.
Who in your life reminded you of your true worth?
What is the unique way that they showed you?
Comment below and we'll see you tomorrow.
Blessings on your day.
The family dysfunction
that we'll talk about today
is unfair ridicule.
Sadly this is something that you see in siblings
as they grow up and when they become adults,
it only becomes slightly more sophisticated.
Let's go back to the time of the prophet Samuel.
Actually to just before Samuel's birth.
Samuel's mother was a woman named Hannah.
Hannah was married to Elkanah
who was also married to another woman named Peninnah.
Now, Peninnah had children but Hannah was barren.
Hannah had a husband of social standing,
of moderate wealth, of faithful piety.
But she had no son.
And Peninnah, the other woman,
would not let her forget it.
This is what the Bible says,
"And because the Lord had closed Hannah's womb,
her rival kept provoking her
in order to irritate her.
This went on year after year.
Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord,
her rival provoked her till she wept
and would not eat.
Now, I know my relationships with food.
She must have been really upset.
And you can just picture Peninnah's provocation here.
"No children, Hannah?"
"Don't you want children?"
"Doesn't Elkanah want children?"
"How does it feel to always disappoint him?"
"Doesn't the Lord love you?"
You've probably been there,
maybe not about having children,
but your rival knows your buttons
and knows how to push them
and it's really not fair.
So what did Hannah do?
She went to the house of the Lord
and she prayed about it.
She said to the priest Eli,
"I was pouring out my soul to the Lord."
That is a beautiful definition of prayer.
"I was pouring out my soul to the Lord."
And Eli told her to go in peace.
And then the Bible says this,
"Then she went her way
"and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast."
Take note of that.
Her countenance changed
before her condition changed.
In other words, she still didn't have a son at this point
but just praying it out made her feel better
because God knows.
And he knows what you're going through too.
Hannah poured out her soul to the Lord of hosts,
assuming that the broken heart
of a relatively obscure woman matters to him.
That's a good assumption.
Eventually God blessed Hannah with a child.
She named him Samuel
and through that horrible ordeal,
Samuel would actually bring about the salvation
of a whole generation of people
as he would bring them back to the Lord.
Now, without Peninnah's provocation,
and unfair ridicule,
that may never have happened.
You see, God is able to take the smirks
and the digs and the venom of the Peninnahs
in our lives and work it out for our best.
He hears us.
God, whose son Jesus took the smirks
and the digs and the venom of the people at the cross,
he used that to bring about our salvation.
So I don't know exactly how God is going to work
with whatever you have going on right now
but this I know,
I know our God
and it'll be good.
Let's pray.
Dear Jesus, when others ridicule,
point me to your promises,
to your love on the cross
and use even that ridicule to bless me.
Amen.
Hey everyone, Pastor Mike here with Time of Grace.
Did you know that our ministry is 100% donor funded?
That's a fancy way of saying
that we don't receive buckets and buckets of money
from the government or from any church or denomination.
Instead, our ministry is completely fueled
by people just like you.
People who'll listen and watch our videos,
people who give generously
and people who allow this message to spread
to more and more souls whose lives are then changed.
So for all who give, thank you so much.
And for all of you who haven't given yet,
we would love for you to do so.
We really need your support.
We want to reach people now with the good news of Jesus
which is why we need your help.
Thanks for praying about that,
thanks for considering it
and thanks in advance for your support.
God bless.