(humming)
- Hi.
So, I didn't wanna do that much this week
but then something in my titty switched.
Yeah! Something in my titty switched, you know?
It's a thing, Google it.
In the shift of my titty, I didn't realize
that my red carpet senses were tingling.
And that a girl needs to get this paycheck.
But the VMAs happened.
So we're gonna, we're gonna,
we're gonna review the VMA fashion.
When I'm wearing nothing.
I'm literally wearing nothing but a chain.
Who am I?
Am I a rapper?
Am I a rapper girl!
The baby! The boo-boo!
Because now I think this is the first VMAs
where I know a handful of people personally that went.
So it's not like I'm famous.
I'm just famous adjacent now, ha, ha!
We movin' up!
Let's do this. Should I put a shirt on?
Should I put a shirt on?
Should I put a shirt... okay, let's put a shirt on.
I got a lot of space in this apartment,
might as well show y'all weird ass angles of it.
This is my inside tower.
You know, it's for everyone to feel like Rapunzel.
I just stand up there and I'm like.
♪ Ave Maria♪
Let me do it, actually.
(singing)
You know?
So, I watched the VMAs, but I cannot tell you
what happened, because I forgot everything.
Not that it was boring.
Okay, it was kinda boring.
But like, Nicki was good.
And that, that's, that's it.
Lizzo's was interesting.
Lizzo's was quick.
There was a lot of people and it was long as fuck.
Oh my god!
Have they always been four hours?
And who had the audacity to make it four hours?
Like, damn, y'all really had people sitting up
in those seats for four hours?
Or was I just watching it twice?
I don't know. Girl, I was, I was spacing out.
- Click.
- Lizzo!
No, you see...
No, you see, you see she can't keep doing this to us.
You can't keep doing this to us, it's not fair.
Girl, this is sick.
How fucking dare you.
It looks like Ursula's ink.
Yeah, she looks like Ursula's ink.
A little cursed waterfall, you know what I mean?
But she look good!
You look good, girl!
I act like people watch these.
Taylor Swift!
(gasping)
Is she nake...
No, no. No, she's not.
No, she's not.
(cackling)
I was about to say, damn, girl.
Taylor said, I don't give a fuck this year.
That is a nude shaded dress, I'm guessing.
With a bunch of like, rhinestones all over it
to give the illusion that she's naked.
But like, you can tell she's not.
It's like that one thigh.
That one thigh looks good, but then the other thigh,
that's when you're like, okay, no, that's a dress.
Okay, it's a dress, kids.
Don't worry.
She's still giving y'all the...
♪ In the soft jeans ♪
♪ I'm in a T-shirt ♪
♪ You in the cheer ♪
♪ And I'm not a cheerleader♪
What is that song?
BLACKPINK!
In your area!
Let's kill this!
And they're cute, you know,
dressed in all black, but simple.
But they're cute.
They're working it.
One of them has a flower print on
because she said, I'm different.
I'm the leader of the group.
Is she the leader of the group?
She's the leader of the group, isn't she?
Is she the oldest?
Isn't the oldest the leader?
How does it work again?
Remember names. Remember names.
It's Lisa, Rose...
Kelly and Michelle, I don't know.
Lil Nas X!
You see, you see.
(singing "Lion King" theme)
Okay, ha, ha!
Okay, word. Opening number of Lion King on Broadway, bitch.
Okay, period.
And the finale.
This is fun.
I would wanna wear this.
Can I steal it?
Can I take it?
Will CelebrityDresses.com have it on their website tomorrow?
How is that thing stuck to the back of his head, though?
That's what I wanna know.
Because that looks like that hurts.
If that's attached to your hair, bitch, someone...
Someone needs to be arrested.
It's giving, I must avenge my father.
It's giving, I am the rightful prince of this kingdom
come to regain my throne.
It's giving.
♪ Deliver us♪
That's a different movie, but you know.
Jack Harlow is a straight man.
But you know what, he looks good, okay.
He's trying his absolute masculinity best, you know?
It's a shiny suit that looks like my uncle.
My grandfather has this, actually, I've seen this
on many of older men in my family.
Plenty a black grandfathers have a shiny jacket.
You've seen it. You've seen it.
They come wearing it at funerals all pimped out
and you're like, is this the right time?
Ha, ha!
Looking like they drive a limo
and are in a bike gang at the same damn time.
Chloe Bailey!
♪ Why keep flossing like I do ♪
♪ Why keep turning like I do ♪
♪ Why keep saucing like I do ♪
♪ Why keep bossing like I♪
I need to, you guys cannot be in this angle.
But she looks good.
She looks like the Statue of Liberty, you know, if she...
Was pretty.
The statue, not Chloe.
Chloe's gorgeous.
Like, the top half kind of looks like a sexy Power Ranger.
Am I crazy? I haven't seen Power Rangers in a second.
I'm gonna watch Power Rangers.
Let's go watch Power Rangers, guys.
Yeah, fuck a video.
Let's go watch it. Let's just go watch the Power Rangers.
Dove Cameron.
Okay. Yeah, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Wednesday Adams is a show Netflix
is coming out with soon and I am also excited about it.
Lili Reinhart.
Okay.
I also really love "Pirates of the Caribbean."
Sabrina Carpenter, wow!
You know how does that feel?
How does that feel, girl?
How? I have a question.
For me, that part of the body is the most ticklish part
of my entire body.
If you touch me there, I will scream.
So like, just to have it out.
Like, primarily out.
Like, everything else is covered but that section.
I'd be scared.
Like a gust of wind might just put me in a different mood.
You know what I mean, girl?
Like, I might get too horny.
I don't know.
It's a very interesting cut.
And I will say if that cut did not exist on this dress,
this dress would look crazy as hell.
Like, the pattern is so god damn insane.
Like, the insane cut with the insane pattern
cancel each other out and just make the dress nice.
Fash! Fashion!
Do I get it now?
Do I finally understand it?
Anitta!
Oo!
Oo, woo, shooby dooby, doo, boo, ba woo, bah.
What is that Jessica Rabbit song?
She looks good, she looks nice.
Does that hurt your boob?
There's probably a cloth underneath that but...
It doesn't look like it,
so all I'm thinking about is like, girl,
that nipple must be in distress.
Dylan O'Brien.
Latto.
You know, I was just saying.
Sometimes I follow fashion trends.
You know, sometimes I follow the color schemes that I see.
And I was noticing hot pink was like the carpet thing
for a good couple months.
And my ass was thinking, okay,
watch lime green come back for some reason
right after this hot pink.
And low and behold, we got Miss Latto up in here,
dressing like a booker.
But honestly, it works.
It works. It works.
Yeah, I like it.
Bebe Rexha, it's cute.
Avril Lavigne looks like she woke up
some day 10 years ago and was like, you know what?
My face, entire body can stay exactly like this.
And then wrote a curse and just decided never to age again.
Like, she was a teenager and then she became
a young adult and then she just stayed a young adult
for the rest of her life.
This woman I believe is in her 30s now, you know?
That's adult age.
That's not a young adult age anymore.
But she still looks like she's 22.
She looks like she could be hanging out
with the girls at The Grove for no fucking reason.
That's a thing you do
when you're like 18, 19, 20, 22 up in LA.
After that age you're like, why the fuck
am I going to The Grove, girl?
I don't need errands run.
Chloe Fineman is having a sleepover
in her backyard after this, come on over, girl.
We're making s'mores.
Girl, that's a sleeping bag, girl.
That's a marshmallow cooker.
What is that?
That's a popcorn maker.
Dixie D'Amelio.
Dixie D'Amelio!
Dixie Da, is it Italian?
She looks nice.
She looks...
Like Winona Ryder.
Girl, why am I just, that's just hitting me.
She looks like Winona Ryder.
That is a young Winona Ryder
if I've ever fucking seen one, girl.
Put her in a biopic.
Let's see her shoplift.
A lot of y'all probably don't even know that happened.
That shows my age.
Peppermint.
Oo, wow!
I feel like she is dressed the most VMAs
out of everyone I've seen right now dressed for the VMAs.
Ha, ha!
Like, if you were to think of a typical VMAs look,
Peppermint is showcasing that, basically, right now.
Is it good?
It's, it's fashion.
Conan Gray, okay!
Purr. Period, Conan.
Purr-y-id.
He's stanning.
We love a ghost with half a torso, you know?
Becky G, oo!
Looks like the opening tablament of "Midsommar."
You remember that part?
Where the girl puts her coochie blood in the man's drink
and then he falls in love with her.
You remember that? Girl, you remember that?
I mean, it's probably some religious connection.
I don't know, girl, I'm just thinking of movies.
Remi Wolf, yummy!
Looking like a candy cane!
Just wanna eat you all up with consent.
With consent, of course.
Khalid.
Congrats.
Bob the Drag Queen, girl!
Period!
We love an Englishman's ghost.
An Englishman's spirit bitch.
We love this.
Ah, the skirt looks like lost but it's been found.
It's been found.
J Balvin.
Okay.
Those pants may be way too big, but okay.
Bad Bunny.
Uh, no way!
No way! Ha, ha!
Doechii, aye, yi, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya!
That's a look.
That's it, that, girl, she did it.
She did it.
Is she wearing pants? What's happening?
Is she covering her coochie? What's going on?
What is this position?
Are you okay?
Girl, go ahead, leg strength.
Well, like, damn.
But I like it, you know?
Shiny jackets, coming back, girls.
We back in 2000s R&B, here we go Destiny's Child!
Snoop Dogg. No.
Thank you.
That looks hot as fuck, first of all.
That looks sweaty as fuck.
I'd be drippin', girl.
I'd be drippin'.
Monet X Change, whoa!
(whistling)
I don't like it.
Like, it's a lot going on.
You know what I mean?
Like, there's so much happening.
I don't know!
I don't know.
This gives me very like, 2002 Kid's Choice Awards.
You know what I mean? But not 2022 VMA.
Not 2022 VMA.
Sharina!
Hey, girl!
Looking cute.
Oo, that's a nice dress.
That's a nice dress.
That's a good one, it's pretty.
It's fab.
I was gonna do the Lady Gaga song,
but I forgot how it went.
Chris Olsen, woo.
Your shirt is making me dizzy.
That is making me so confused right now.
It's like moving.
It's like vibrating.
It's making my eyes vibrate.
I cannot look at it.
At the same time, I would wear something like this.
Probably not this shirt, but I'd wear this suit.
This suit is very my color.
So I'll give you that.
I'll give you that.
Also, really short in real life.
We've never met. I've seen you.
I've seen you!
LL Cool J, shiny jacket.
Shiny jacket. See, Jack Harlow got the black memo before me.
That hurts my feelings a little bit.
Colton Haynes.
Lime green.
Y'all, I'm making the call.
I'm making the call, girl.
It was in my head and now it's coming out, it's coming out.
I just go buy something that's lime green, girl.
I'm gonna be ahead of the curve, too.
I'll be like.
♪ Cover girl♪
Where am I gonna go? Where am I going?
Your wand, bitch.
Well, this also looks weird, okay.
I don't like suits that do that.
I don't like the side button thing on suits
because then for some reason in my head
it looks like you have no pelvis.
What?
Ryan Mitchell, hey bitch!
This is nice.
That hair, how do you do that?
And also...
For some reason I thought you were wearing socks and sandals
for a good quick second.
I was like, girl, what's happening?
Let me take everything back.
(laughing)
That pause, I was like, wait, hold up.
Okay, those are shoes.
I like the color of the shoe.
It's an interesting ombre, but that shirt looks expensive.
And also, over sized pants scare me for some reason.
I don't think I would be comfortable wearing pants
that are touching the floor with me, you know?
Because all I'll be thinking about is,
I'm gonna trip on these bitches.
I'm gonna trip on these fucking bitches.
People are like, why is Mac always trippin?
Mac be trippin, bitch.
But I like it.
You look like the Hawaiian ocean.
And I've never been to Hawaii,
so I cannot confirm that.
I'm just saying shit.
Okay, Chloe Flower.
I don't know who you are.
But I want to know.
Because I want to know,
where are the arm holes in this dress?
I want to see them myself.
DJ Khaled.
He got outta bed, girl.
Prince Derek Doll.
Who?
I don't know, girl, but I can't wait
to watch "The Fifth Element" remake, okay?
Prince Derek Doll is looking for the dolls, okay?
He's looking for the dolls.
This man is dressed like the Joker.
See, here we are.
This is the VMAs, you know? Here it is.
These are the dresses I've been looking for.
Everyone dressing too pretty.
Everyone dressing to comfortable now.
I need ya like this.
I miss Lady Gaga coming up in the egg.
She came up in an egg, bitch.
Saucy Santana, yes!
Is that a robe?
Are we wearing a robe?
To the V, honestly fish.
You know, let's go.
Period. Damn.
You are literally second to last on this page, sir.
I had to scroll all the way to the bottom for you, okay?
Are you ready?
Okay, here we go.
Michael Derek.
Who?
(funky music)
And that's that, there we go. You're welcome.
Wait, wait, wait, no let me give you a reaction.
Let me give you a reaction.
Here you go, are you ready?
Ah! Oh my, oh!
Wow, oh, wow, I've never seen this.
This is my first time seeing you wear this.
Oh my god, what?
Wow, fashion.
Oh look, take note you hyper masculine, toxic men.
This is how you should be doing it.
Is that what you fucking want?
Is that what you fucking want me to do?
You went to the VMAs, oh so happy.
Next time, take me, okay.
Damn, I wanna walk on that carpet naked.
Looking like the Jersey trash he is.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, you fucking piece of shit.
Fuck you, okay?
You think you're better than me now
because you went to the VMAs?
Did I make a video about the VMAs
and now I gotta make a video about you?
Oh my god, whatever, shut up.
But it's cute, cute that you got there.
Glad you were walking red carpets.
I know that's what you wanted to do.
Being on reality TV and shit, so I'm happy for you.
But at the same time, fuck you.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm happy for you but at the same time, bitch.
That's your chess move? Okay, get ready for mine.
Okay, I just canceled the tour, bitch, what's good?
I'm trying to find Nicki Minaj.
Because I know she hosted and I was like,
I don't wanna like not include her.
But it seems like she wasn't even on the red carpet, though.
So she hosted, but she skipped the red carpet?
Me, me, girl.
Me, if the night was about me, girl,
I would not be on that red carpet.
Just to fuck people up, you know what I mean?
Just to ruin the vibe.
Okay, but here's a dress she wore.
There we go.
It's fucking bomb, bitch.
That's the only reason why I wanted to bring her up, okay.
It's the only thing I remember of this fucking award show.
When she came out with that dress I was like, oo, girl.
Okay, Barbie!
Barbie bitch!
You know, Mattel is suing Rap Chip
for the Nicki Minaj Barbie-Que for using Barbie's name
and brand without permission?
She look good, though.
- Ha, ha.
- What'd we learn today, kids?
We learned that Avril Lavigne is 23 forever, okay.
Lil Nas X has a kingdom to avenge.
And also shiny jackets.
Shout out to @zinallan and @AkwaDoll
for retweeting my last video on Twitter.
Comment down below.
Who was your favorite look at the VMAs?
If you watched the VMAs,
what was your favorite moment of the VMAs?
Okay, other than BLACKPINK's performance, okay.
Other than BLACKPINK's performance.
I know, I know.
I know what y'all gonna say.
I am going to go...
Lay down.
I'm gonna lay down.
I am full, I need to poop.
I'm gonna go poop.
Ugh, I like pooping.
That's why I wish I was more of a bottom,
because I just feel like it's like pooping in reverse.
If I could just like get into that,
I feel like I would be so down, you know?
I just wanted something TMI for y'all real quick.
(laughing)
My name's Mac.
Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe, babe. Wah!