- Ah, the pulsing bioluminescence of the ancient cephalopod.
Glimmers against the oppressive ocean deep,
Dotted with tiny light producing photo pores,
these unique, what is this?
A new admirer.
(horse neighs)
Ah, the homo sapien,
known for its insatiable lust for extinction.
- That's right.
I'm an apex predator.
- I wish people had chosen the barnacle monster thing
at Minecon 2017.
- Uh-huh, yeah, that sounds fun.
I got a bite!
Reeling, reeling.
- Then there would be some added risks to diving
into the ocean.
- Sign me up!
- Even with drowned and guardians,
the seas are too safe, if you ask me.
- That's why I always leave a note.
- That doesn't make any sense.
Wait, are you even listening to me?
- Wow!
Look at the size of this one.
- Why am I the designated photographer?
- You look bad in this lighting.
(camera clicking)
- Check out what I just found.
(water splashes)
- Dammit, not again.
- That's amazing, Stanthony!
- All thanks to the water breathing bestowed on me
by Porkchop's Potions.
- All that energy for an ink sac
from the world's least favorite mob.
Did you at least catch some fish?
- I did, not.
(rooster crowing)
(rooster coughing)
- Just admit it.
Neither of you know how to use this thing.
- How dare!
(air whooshes)
- It's okay to not know.
- (chuckles) Oh, we know how to use this.
- Eureka.
- That's not how they work.
- Like you know.
- You just love watching us fail.
- Hey, I don't only Lord things over you guys.
I also like to prove that I'm better than you.
- That is so, so,
lame!
- Give me a sec.
Black text isn't the best for this.
- [Porckhop] Hey!
- One sec.
Alt, num pad zero, 167, then color code.
What's your favorite color?
- Rainbow. - Brown.
- I'll use my favorite color then, pink.
Feast your eyes on this.
- That's your favorite color?
- Haha, he likes pink.
- Stop being old, Stan.
- From the 1918 trade publication
of Earnshaw's Infants' Department.
"The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys
and blue for the girls.
The reason is that pink being a more decided
and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy,
while blue, which is more delicate and dainty
is prettier for the girl."
- Ew.
- Wow, I thought that God decided pink was for girls.
Huh.
It was just dumb marketing decisions?
- Yep.
That is why no one should care
that my favorite color is pink.
- You got me there.
I know exactly what to do with this new information.
- I'm glad to be of service.
- Not the weird historical sexism
that makes me question my life in uncomfortable ways.
More glowing sacs!
(Chicken sighs)
(bell dinging)
My God.
- [Porkchop] It's beautiful.
- [Stan] Yeah.
I am pretty great.
- What happened there?
- It's so weird.
I can't find any more glow squid in the ocean.
I guess I'll need to start breeding them.
- You monster.
Glow squid can't be bred.
- I think you just hunted the glow squid to extinction.
- Oh.
Oh.
- The reckoning of Stanthony McStaniels has begun! (laughs)
(mysterious music)