Thanks to archaeologists,
we're always learning new things about our old world,
which we discuss in our new segment Noah's Ark-eology.
♪ ♪
Our first discovery is in Guatemala,
where the jungles aren't hiding just tigers.
TV REPORTER: For centuries, the Guatemalan jungle
shrouded the remains of the ancient Maya civilization.
More than 60,000 previously unknown Mayan structures
hidden by the rainforest.
The project mapped more than 800 square miles,
uncovering ancient roads, pyramids, even palaces.
Now, using lasers and drones,
scientists have uncovered a secret beneath the canopy:
a Mayan megalopolis.
Okay, hold up. Hold up.
These scientists developed lasers
to help them see through things,
and they're wasting it on ancient Mayans?
I'm sorry, if I had X-ray that could see through anything,
you know what I'd be using it for.
Yeah, I'd be using it to see right through my parents' lies
about what really happened to my dog.
You told me he died,
but I know you sent him to a farm!
(laughter)
Yeah. But let's move on...
(chuckles)
...from the Mayans
to another collapsed civilization,
Great Britain.
-Now... -(laughter, applause)
if you weren't aware...
if you weren't aware, a century ago
in a town called Cheddar Gorge,
scientists found a 10,000-year-old skeleton
of the earliest known man in Britain,
who they named Cheddar Man.
Very imaginative.
And scientists used to believe
that he looked like a lost member of the Bee Gees.
But now, thanks to DNA evidence,
we've learned that Cheddar Man actually has a dark secret.
Cheddar Man, considered one of the first modern humans
in Britain, had dark skin.
DNA analysis shows he had dark hair, blue eyes,
and skin that was probably dark brown or black.
Oh, shit!
(laughter, applause)
Cheddar Man was black!
(cheering and applause)
So, you realize what this means?
It turns out that Meghan Markle isn't entering the royal family.
She's just reclaiming the throne.
(cheering and applause)
Hey, hey.
But yeah, of course Cheddar Man is black.
I don't need DNA to know that.
His remains are 10,000 years old,
and they still ain't cracked, people. Come on.
And, of course, as we know from daytime TV,
you can't have a DNA test
without a family reunion.
This is modern-day Cheddar Man.
Adrian Targett lives in the same village
and shares DNA
with the skeleton found in the gorge.
So, time to meet his ancestor.
Do you want to see your great-great-great-great-great-
great-great-great-great-great- great-great-grandfather?
Okay, here he comes.
And...
Oh, my.
-(laughs) -What do you think?
It's remarkable, isn't it?
I think there is probably some resemblance.
Man, British...
(laughter, applause)
British Maury Povich sucks.
"You are the father."
"Well, well, I'm not too surprised.
"I see the resemblance. Yes.
Handshakes, young man. Handshakes. Handshakes."
Come on, guys, where's the drama?
I wanted that guy to freak out.
I wanted him to be like, "Oh, God, what?
I voted for Brexit. Aah!"
Like, where's the drama? You're introducing a man
to the ancestor he never knew.
You could have used that technology
to let Cheddar Man say
what he's been holding back all these years.
Let's have a look.
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, son.
(laughs)
"Don't do this, Cheddar Man.
"You can't just show up now after being dead my whole life.
I had to grow up on the streets, Cheddar Man!"
Ah, that's what I wish would have happened, but it didn't.
That's all the discoveries we have for tonight.
Join us next time when we explore
the mysterious eighth continent, Afrasia.