Robert Mueller, as he continues his methodical pursuit
of the world's most brilliant criminal mastermind,
we're seeing casualties of his investigation pile up.
This week, a federal court in Virginia began hearing testimony
in the trial of Paul Manafort,
Donald Trump's former campaign chairman,
and world's sketchiest LEGO man.
Thanks to Mueller, Manafort is now charged
with 18 counts of tax evasion,
bank fraud, money laundering,
and using his roommate's HBO GO password.
Oh, you didn't think they could come after you for that?
Yeah? Yeah. You guys are in a lot of trouble.
But before prosecutors got into the details,
they wanted to introduce Paul Manafort to the world.
TV REPORTER: Prosecutors focused their efforts
on portraying Manafort as a man who spent lavishly
while cheating on his taxes.
TV REPORTER: Multiple homes, expensive cars and watches.
$1.13 million for home improvements.
Nearly a million dollars that he spent on landscaping,
including a flower bed in the shape of an "M".
TV REPORTER: Manafort spent over $18,000 on a karaoke setup.
Goddamn, Manafort was balling.
$18,000 on a karaoke set?
Yo, if I spent that much money on karaoke, it better come
with drunk Japanese businessmen to sing for me.
$18,000?
Yo, let me tell you something, let me tell you something.
If I spent that much money on karaoke, best believe
at my house, every night is karaoke night. Every night.
Be like, "Yo, Trevor, shouldn't we watch the Super Bowl?
Uh, I think we should be singing karaoke.
I'm getting my money.
♪ Ebony and ivory. ♪
I'm singing.
And as lavish as all of that sounds,
there's one part of Paul Manafort's life
where he spared no expense.
TV REPORTER: In just five years,
Manafort spent $929,000 on suits.
TV REPORTER: A $15,000 ostrich jacket,
also more than $18,000 python coat.
Okay, first of all, if you're trying not to seem evil,
maybe don't dress up as a snake.
Uh, also, also, what's the point of wearing ostrich
if you're gonna take off all the feathers?
That just seems like a waste.
Like, If I'm wearing ostrich, it had better look like this.
I want to see that I'm wearing ostrich, people.
(laughter and applause)
I want to feel it.
(cheers and applause)
And, look, you know,
it's really interesting to see what's happening here.
It feels like the prosecution
is trying to turn the jury against Manafort
by showing them that he's the kind of asshole
who owns a $15,000 ostrich jacket.
Yeah. And after seeing a picture of this jury,
something tells me that it might work.
It might just work.
So, of course,
everyone is watching this trial,
but nobody is watching closer than Manafort's former employer.
REPORTER: President Trump today wading into the trial
of his former campaign chairman, tweeting...
(reading):
Okay, I'm sorry.
"Alfonse Capone"?
Who-who calls Al Capone by his full name?
Every time I think Trump has hit peak weirdness,
he gets a little bit weirder.
Like, is that-- is that just his thing?
It's just like, "And then I was talking
"to Kimberly Kardashian,
"and she was so grateful for how I helped her husband,
"Kanye Westeros. Great guy.
Great guy."
Now, look, Trump is clearly not enjoying the fact
that Mueller has his buddy on trial.
But what's really got the president riled up
was finding out that Mueller is a few steps closer
to having a chat with him.
REPORTER: President Trump was outraged after learning
that among the topics Special Counsel Robert Mueller wants
to question him about is obstruction of justice.
Sources say it enraged him so
it prompted this extraordinary tweet
that critics say could amount to obstruction.
The president writing...
(reading):
This is so insane.
President Trump may have obstructed justice
because he's mad about being accused
of obstructing justice.
Like, he's just proving their point.
It's like when someone tells you to calm down and you're like,
"What do you mean calm down? I am calm!
I'll kill you for saying that!"
Calm down, man.
(cheering and applause)
And now, although it seems like obstruction,
according to the president's lawyer and spokes-gremlin,
Rudy Giuliani, we are all getting ahead of ourselves,
because Trump words matter.
As we said immediately, it's an-an opinion.
He used the word "should." He didn't use the word "must."
And there was no presidential directive that followed it.
-But-- -He didn't direct 'em-- he didn't direct 'em to do it.
And he's not gonna direct 'em to do it.
You should get the (bleep) out of here.
(cheering and applause)
Like...
Rudy-Rudy Giuliani is making it sound
like Trump's tweet was just a helpful suggestion
and that Trump is not Jeff Sessions' boss
and the most powerful man in the world.
You know, it's like Darth Vader telling you...
(inhales) "You should really consider joining the dark side.
(inhales) "But no presh, no presh.
I mean, whatever. Just a suggestion."
And if you weren't convinced by Collude-y Giuliani,
uh, Sarah Huckabee Sanders,
Sarah Huckabee Sanders, wow,
she had an even more creative defense.
There's a reason that the president's angry,
and, frankly, most of America is angry as well.
And there's no reason he shouldn't be able
to voice that opinion.
Look, the president is not obstructing--
he's fighting back.
Ooh!
The president is not obstructing--
he's just fighting back. Yeah.
Fighting back against an investigation of you
is obstructing.
Like, Sarah Sanders wants to frame it
like it's just self-defense.
But that's exactly what self-defense is,
obstructing the punch from hitting your face.
That's obstruction.
Oh, and-and Team Trump has one more defense.
REPORTER: The president's lawyer, Rudy Giuliani,
told The New York Times...
(reading):
What they're trying to do is stitch together
an obstruction case based on public tweets,
on the exercise of First Amendment rights.
You know, people don't obstruct justice in public.
If you're going to obstruct justice,
you're gonna do it in private.
(laughter)
That, that is a brilliant argument.
Until you take a moment to think about it.
Because obstruction of justice
isn't about whether it's private or public.
Private is just how most people do it, right?
But most people also don't want to bang their daughter.
(groaning)
And even those who do,
even those who do don't talk about it on The View.
Donald Trump is not a normal person.
Like, what's crazy about this is,
if there was a tape where Trump told Sessions in private
that he should end the Mueller probe
and we discovered the tape, that would be the end.
It would be obstruction, impeachment, game over.
But just because he did it in public, he can get away with it.
Like, it-it's amazing that Trump has this superpower--
he does the bad things in public and then somehow--
Like, I-I don't know how to explain it.
Like, there's no other instance
where doing a bad thing publicly is better.
You know what I mean?
Nothing else works like that.
Like, when you see someone masturbating on the subway,
no one's sitting there, like,
"Well, I'm glad you're doing it in public.
"That makes it better.
Good job."