♪ ♪
♪ >> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.
JON AND I WERE JUST SAYING HI TO EACH OTHER OVER THE ZOOM HERE.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jon: GOOD.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> Stephen: I'M DOING ALL RIGHT.
I WAS JUST LOOKING AT FOOTAGE OF YOU AND THE BAND MEMBERS AT THE
BARKLEY CENTER ON FRIDAY, RIGHT?
>> Jon: YEAH, FRIDAY, OUT THERE GETTING PEOPLE REGISTERED
TO VOTE!
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC!
>> Jon: YES, HAD THE QR CODES, AND YOU CAN JUST SCAN YOUR PHONE
AND WE HAD TABLES AND FOLKS WALKING AROUND PASSING OUT MASKS
AND GLOVES AND SANITIZER AND VOTING BALLOTS.
>> Stephen: THAT IS WONDERFUL BECAUSE ALL THIS PROTESTING IS A
FANTASTIC.
>> Jon: YES.
>> Stephen: OF THE HUMAN DESIRE FOR FREEDOM AND EQUALITY,
BUT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO WHO YOU VOTE FOR AND WHO WILL REPRESENT
THOSE INTERESTS ON NOVEMBER 3.
>> THAT IS IT.
THAT IS OUR RIGHT.
IF WE DON'T USE IT, ALL THE ENERGY IS NOT GOING TO BE
GALVANIZED TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
WE WANT TO GET SOMEWHERE.
SO THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING, PUSHING THE VOTING.
>> Stephen: I HAVE A RELATED BUT FAR LESS IMPORTANT QUESTION,
WE IS YOU'RE WEARING BLUE PLASTIC GLOVES WHILE YOU PLAY.
WHAT'S IT LIKE TO PLAY WITH THE BLUE GLOVES ON?
>> IT'S NOT EASY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, BUT IT'S A GOOD EXERCISE
TO GET YOUR DEXTERITY TOGETHER.
I SHOULD PROBABLY DO IT ALL THE TIME WHILE I'M PRACTICING.
>> Stephen: LIKE THROWING A COUPLE OF DONUTS ON A BASEBALL
BAT WHEN YOU'RE WARMING UP, WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ON-DECK CIRCLE.
>> Jon: YEAH.
I THINK THE GLOVES COUPLED WITH THE SWEAT, IT'S THE BEST
COMBINATION TO GET YOUR DEXTERITY TOGETHER THAT I CAN
THINK OF.
>> Stephen: THE MASK REMINDS YOU OF WHAT YOUR BREATH SMELLS
LIKE TO OTHER PEOPLE, SO MY HYGIENE HAS GONE WAY UP.
>> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS, WHEN YOU HAVE THE MASK ON, YOU'VE GOT
TO GET THE MOUTHWASH GOING.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
>> Jon: LATER ON.
>> Stephen: IT'S BEEN A DIFFICULT TIME FOR
AMERICA, SINCE WE'VE GOT A PRESIDENT WHO SEEMS INCAPABLE OF
HANDLING THINGS LIKE A PANDEMIC AND INSTITUTIONALIZED RACISM AND
A SLIGHTLY DECLINING RAMP.
SO RECENTLY, I ASKED YOU ALL TO STEP UP TO FILL THE LEADERSHIP
VACUUM AND B.Y.O.P.-- BE YOUR OWN PRESIDENT.
IT'S A DIRTY JOB, BUT THAT DIRTY OLD MAN JUST ISN'T UP TO IT.
AND I DIRECTED ALL YOU SELF-POTUSES TO
COLBERTLATESHOW.COM/BYOP, WHERE WE'RE OFFERING A FULL LINE OF
OFFICIAL B.Y.O.P. MERCHANDISE.
THIS COFFEE MUG, THIS "SHIRT FORCE ONE," THIS STYLISH
B.Y.O.P. MASK AND THIS PINT GLASS.
PRO-TIP: REMOVE THE MASK BEFORE DRINKING FROM THE GLASS.
BUT KEEP THE SHIRT ON.
UNLESS YOU'VE HAD TWO.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS 100% OF "THE LATE SHOW" PROCEEDS WILL GO
TO SUPPORTING NATIONAL BAIL OUT, THE N.A.A.C.P., THE N.A.A.C.P.
LEGAL DEFENSE FUND, AND THE NATIONAL URBAN LEAGUE.
WELL, IT TURNS OUT A LOT OF YOU OPPOSE INEQUALITY AND/OR SUPPORT
QUALITY MERCHANDISE, BECAUSE AS OF THIS TAPING, YOU'VE RAISED
OVER $115,000 TO HELP ADDRESS INHERENT RACISM IN OUR SOCIETY.
SO IF YOU HAVE YET TO BECOME YOUR OWN PRESIDENT, RAISE YOUR
RIGHT HAND AND REPEAT AFTER ME.
I, STATE YOUR NAME, DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO VISIT
COLBERTLATESHOW.COM/BYOP WHERE I WILL FAITHFULLY CHARGE
MY CREDIT CARD FOR THESE FINE PRODUCTS.
SPEAKING OF SELLING, TRUMP IS ANXIOUS TO HIT THE ROAD FOR HIS
RALLIES AGAIN.
HE SCHEDULED THE FIRST ONE FOR TULSA, OKLAHOMA ON JUNE 19TH.
ONE PROBLEM, THAT'S "JUNETEENTH, THE OBSERVANCE OF THE END OF
SLAVERY IN THE UNITED STATES."
NOW, YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT JUNETEENTH BECAUSE AMERICA'S
PUBLIC SCHOOL CURRICULUM FOCUSES ON TRADITIONALLY WHITE HOLIDAYS,
LIKE SHARK WEEK AND ROCKTOBER.
AT FIRST, TRUMP TRIED TO PUT A POSITIVE SPIN ON HIS CHOICE OF
DATES.
>> THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING A RALLY ON THAT DAY, YOU CAN
REALLY THINK ABOUT THAT VERY POSITIVELY AS A CELEBRATION.
THE RALLY, TO ME, IS A CELEBRATION.
IT'S GOING BE REALLY A CELEBRATION, AND IT'S AN
INTERESTING DATE.
IT WASN'T DONE FOR THAT REASON, BUT IT'S AN INTERESTING DATE
BUT IT'S A CELEBRATION.
>> STEPHEN: HE'S CELEBRATING THE FREEING OF BLACK
PEOPLE BY HOLDING A RALLY THAT IS BLACK PEOPLE FREE.
ANYWAY, THEY MOVED THE RALLY FROM THE 19TH ALL THE WAY TO THE
20TH.
BUT THAT DOESN'T ADDRESS THE MAJOR HEALTH CONCERNS OVER
CORONAVIRUS SPREAD.
VIRUS CASES ARE RISING IN OVER 20 STATES, INCLUDING OKLAHOMA,
AND EXPERTS SAY EVENTS LIKE THE TRUMP RALLY ARE A PERFECT
STORM FOR VIRAL SPREAD.
GOOD NEWS IS, YOU WON'T EVEN NEED CONTACT TRACING.
JUST STAY AWAY FROM ANYONE WEARING A PLAGUE HAT.
THE DIRECTOR OF INFECTIOUS DISEASE RESEARCH AT THE
UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA, SAY IT WITH ME, DR. MICHAEL T.
OH-STERHOLM, WAS ON "FOX NEWS SUNDAY" ON FOX NEWS ON SUNDAY,
AND HE EXPLAINED WHY TRUMP RALLIES WERE SO DANGEROUS.
>> ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES LARGE CROWDS INDOORS WHERE THERE'S
ALSO SCREAMING, YELLING, LOUD VOICES, CHEERING ALL OF WHICH
WILL HELP AEROSOLIZE THIS VIRUS, I THINK ARE REAL
CHALLENGES.
>> STEPHEN: CHANTING AND YELLING SPREADS THE VIRUS.
SO TRUMP SUPPORTERS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MIME ALL OF THEIR ANGRY
CHANTS.
"LOCK HER UP!
OH, I'M SORRY--" >> STEPHEN: TRUMP'S TEAM CAN'T
SAY THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE RISK THEY'RE EXPOSING THEIR
SUPPORTERS TO, BECAUSE THEY'RE MAKING ALL ATTENDEES SIGN A
WAIVER SAYING, "BY CLICKING REGISTER BELOW, YOU ARE
ACKNOWLEDGING THAT AN INHERENT RISK OF EXPOSURE TO COVID-19
EXISTS IN ANY PUBLIC PLACE WHERE PEOPLE ARE PRESENT.
BY ATTENDING THE RALLY, YOU AND ANY GUESTS VOLUNTARILY ASSUME
ALL RISKS RELATED TO EXPOSURE TO COVID-19 AND AGREE NOT TO HOLD
DONALD J. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT, INC. LIABLE FOR ANY ILLNESS OR
INJURY."
AND PUTTING A SIGN OVER THE ENTRANCE TO THE AUDITORIUM:
"MAKING AMERICA GREAT MAY CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH."
THE WAIVER HAS BEEN SO EFFECTIVE THAT THE CAMPAIGN IS THINKING OF
ADDING ONE TO THE BALLOT IN NOVEMBER:
"BY VOTING FOR DONALD TRUMP I HEREBY ABSOLVE THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION OF ALL RESPONSIBILITY FOR COVID-19
SPREAD, CRATERING THE ECONOMY, ADVISING ME TO DRINK BLEACH
TEAR-GASSING PROTESTERS, AND FURTHER AGREE THAT THERE'S
NOTHING WEIRD ABOUT THINKING YOUR DAUGHTER IS HOT ENOUGH FOR
YOU TO DATE."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "60 MINUTES" JOHN DICKERSON.