I lie because I can't help it.
It's second nature to me.
I was pregnant but I miscarried and I didn't tell anybody.
I continued to let everyone believe that
I was pregnant up until my due date.
The only two times that I have been pregnant
are in my current relationship.
I first got pregnant last year
and miscarried in the beginning of this year.
Another time, my boyfriend and I were broken up.
I told him I was pregnant and I really wasn't
but a month later, I ended up getting pregnant.
I showed my family a fake ultrasound
where I was 12 weeks pregnant
because I wanted them to believe that I was.
I ordered the ultrasound online and it had my name on it
so it was actually made for me but it was doctored.
I didn't tell my family I had a miscarriage
because they cared more about me
believing that I was going to be giving them a grandchild.
I didn't wanna lose that.
One lie just turns into another,
it turns into 100, it turns into a tangled web
that feels impossible to untangle.
I was in deep.
(cheering) When it came down to
doing the gender reveal,
I wrote the envelope myself
and gave it to my mom.
I was pregnant still.
I obviously didn't know what the gender was
of my baby was at that point
and I was still lying about
how far along I was.
As my due date approached,
I thought about what I was going to do,
that there was no way I could lie to my family
about a birth story.
I just thought I have to say anything
just to kind of get them off my back.
I lied and said that my baby had died.
I don't care if my family doesn't believe
that I was ever pregnant because I was.
I don't blame them because I brought this
upon myself but in my heart, I know the truth.
Okay Taylor, I'm glad you're here.
You know, there's something in the open
that they play right before we come out here
that says, today is gonna be a changing day in your life.
And they've kept that for 18 years
because that's my intention when people come here,
that this experience
will be a changing day in your life
because you have a well learned pattern,
pathological pattern of lying, telling half truths,
lying by omission, misdirecting, all sorts of things,
and it's really easy for you to default to that.
And there are reasons why and I understand that,
but I want you to make a conscious choice
to do today differently.
I want you to make a conscious choice today,
a life decision today.
I'm gonna absolutely tell the ungarnished truth.
So what is the truth?
You've run these people around the mulberry bush,
so what is the truth?
I mean, the truth is that I lied to you.
I mean, not just to you guys but to everybody.
What did you lie to us about?
Hang on a second.
Before you open your mouth,
don't answer reflexively.
I won't. You have to make
a conscious decision to tell the truth.
I wasn't pregnant.
I lied to you.
So you were never pregnant.
Yeah, that's true.
I'm glad that you decided to be honest about that.
It's habitual.
I don't know.
Hard to break out of a pattern that I feel like I've
(sobbing) had my entire life.
I feel like people should know too that
I never did anything that I did
or lied to you guys because I wanted to hurt you.
It was just about saving myself from hurt.
That's all it ever was.
A reflexive decisions in order to save myself
from a greater pain.
I mean, you know, that's why I lied to my boyfriend.
That's why I told him in the first place
is 'cause I thought that it would
spare me the pain of going separate ways
and that was a mistake.
And I think I knew at the time that it was
but I felt like I had to.
Just felt like I didn't have a choice.
I want some answers.