- Hey, welcome to day two of Mindset Reset,
our 35 day experience where together
we are going to reset our minds and become more positive,
confident, courageous, and powerful
in the way that we think.
Yesterday, all you had to do was set yourself up
to participate in the program.
And that meant either printing out
your guide to the program,
or downloading it to your phone and saving it
to whatever document app you use,
or downloading it to your laptop so that you can
take notes in a notebook or take notes online.
What works best for me is writing things out.
I just love working with paper,
so that's how I'm working with it,
but please, you use this experience however it empowers you.
Today, I'm gonna walk you through
a really, really fun exercise.
My husband and I, and our family,
we do this every single year at the end of the year.
And so what you're gonna do today
is you're gonna complete 2018.
I find that at this time of year,
most of us are like, goodbye 2018, hello 2019.
I'm so done with this year, I want a new year.
I want a clean slate.
And we're so quick to want a clean slate
that we skip right past all the lessons of 2018,
and in order for me to help you reset your mindset,
in order for me to help you plan what you really want,
what your hopes and your dreams are for 2019,
I want you to just take a second,
and I want you to go through and ask yourself
just a couple questions about where you are right now
in your life, how you feel about things in your life.
Because when we get honest about where we're at,
then we can be honest about what we really want,
and we can also start to identify
the limiting beliefs, the stress, the anxiety that we feel
that are obstacles to getting what we want.
So let me show you how this is gonna work.
So, you're gonna go to page five,
and I'm gonna explain to you what
you're gonna see on the page, how to think about it,
and then I'm gonna give you a preview of my answer.
I'm hoping in explaining what my year was like,
it's gonna inspire you to think about yours,
and it might also have you remember things that you forgot.
So you start off by ranking how you feel
about the six key aspects of your life.
Your body, and your health.
Your work, or your school.
For those of you that aren't working,
work could mean a number of things.
It could mean your life at home,
taking care of everybody, that is work.
It could mean volunteer work.
It could mean your aspirations to launch something.
If you're in school, or wanna get to school,
or you're a high school student,
or you're an elementary school student.
It doesn't have to be about achieving something in school,
it's just about what is it like for you?
How do you feel about it?
Now we're gonna talk about money.
Believe it or not, parents,
if you're doing this with your kids,
your kids have opinions about money.
Do they feel scared about it?
Do they feel prepared about it?
Are they getting an allowance, are they not,
are they worried about it?
The next one is your love life.
Now you may not want to be doing this one with your kids,
'cause your kids of certain ages don't have a love life,
so you can skip that one over.
But it could just be how is love present in your life?
But this is your love life.
Is it disconnected, or are you feeling connected?
Then we're gonna go down to friendships.
Are you empty or are you full?
Then finally, your self worth.
Do you hate yourself?
Do you love yourself?
And a million places in between.
And then I want you to write down,
just take a second or two why did you put it that way.
Now, let me tell you, I and my body,
I originally wrote a seven, and then it occurred to me,
I'm actually a six.
And this is probably too much information
to jump right in with, but this is the truth.
I have a really demoralizing issue with my bladder.
I've had three children, I'm 50 years old,
it happens to a lot of women.
And the fact that I am incontinent,
when I jump, when I run, when I laugh,
when I sneeze, when I hike.
It has really impacted the quality of my life.
And it's something that I think about a lot,
and it makes me feel bad about my body.
It makes me hate my body actually.
And so I am proud of the fact
that I have been exercising a lot,
that I've been taking care of myself physically,
that I look really really good and I'm really really healthy
for a 50 year old woman.
But I hate that I have this limitation.
That's why I said a six.
My work, I circled a nine,
because I absolutely love what I do.
I really do.
But if I'm honest, it's probably more like a seven.
It's not that being honest, I guess upon reflection,
I'm realizing maybe it's more like a seven.
You're gonna find that you do this too,
I've already changed two of 'em.
I love what I do, I love it,
I love the team that we work with,
I love working with you, I love making a difference.
I hate the travel.
I hate being away from my family.
Sometimes get overwhelmed by the pace at which we're moving.
And so if I really reflect holistically,
I love love love it, and the work itself is a 10,
but the things I have to do to be able to do the work
make it a seven.
My money, I actually circled a 10 for prepared.
And here's why.
I have been a financial disaster my entire life.
My entire life.
And now that I'm 50 years old, and I've been really, really
nose down, working 24/7, and just crushing it,
I have been socking money away,
and I feel very prepared and very proud of myself.
My love life.
When I think about Chris, I think about a 10,
but when I think about the scale I wanted you to rank,
it was disconnected as a one, connected as a 10.
Chris and I have been married for 23 years,
I feel deeply connected to him,
but because of the pace of our work,
and the pace of our lives with three kids,
we do not get enough downtime,
where we are truly present with each other.
I give it a seven.
I think that Chris and I could do a much better job
being intentional and carving out time
to really connect with each other.
My friendships I put as a five.
Now, the people that I'm friends with, that's a 10.
Like, deeply connected, love them,
but it's empty to full, and I feel like, again,
because I work so hard, and I'm traveling, and three kids,
and life suddenly seems upside down.
I'm really busy and I know you feel that too,
I just don't feel like I see anybody any more.
And that makes me feel empty.
When I am really reflecting on 2018,
there is an emptiness to my social life
because it's not as frequent as I would like it to be,
and I'm not seeing the people that I really adore
as much as I would like to.
My self worth, a nine.
I've done so much work on myself.
10 years ago, it would've been a one.
Five years ago, it would've been a three.
Y'know, I have gone to therapy,
I have read every book under the planet,
I have actively worked to change my mind,
to change my habits, to change the way I treat people,
and I am really proud to say it is possible
to change yourself.
Always a work in progress, but it's a nine.
I'm gonna go get Oakley right now,
and I'm going to do the next page with him.
So you can see what it's like to fill this stuff out
with your kids, and we will share
that link with you tomorrow,
'cause I wanna keep this snack-sized.
I want to bread crumb this out so you're not overwhelmed,
so there's not too much to do,
and so that you can just make small meaningful progress.
So, page five, fill it out, have fun,
and keep in mind, if there are people that you wish
were doing this with you, you can still share the link.
MelRobbins.com/MindsetReset, to get your friends
and family involved in this.
And then, we're going to very shortly, on January 1st,
be getting into the process of resetting your mind.
And make sure to tag me when you post on social media,
#mindsetreset.
I'll see you tomorrow.