Hey, Dan here and in this video,
I want to talk about dealing with setbacks and bad days.
Now, particularly this seems to affect
types like ENFPs and INFPs.
I'm an ENFP myself,
and it seems to be one of my Achilles heels,
but it may also affect just about everybody.
So pay attention,
it's probably something that you can connect with.
Now, when I say bad days,
I mean those times when something comes up.
Now, sometimes it's tied just to mood, health,
what we're eating and sometimes it's tied to a setback.
So, for example, if you're a freelancer and
you wake up in the morning, you check your e-mail,
which you should never do first thing in the morning,
but let's say you do, you check your email
and there's a client who hated your project.
The night before, you submitted the draft to them,
and they're pissed. They don't like it.
Well, that's a setback and for a lot of us,
that kind of setback can throw our mood off.
Suddenly, we're feeling down on ourselves,
we're feeling de-energized, we're feeling demotivated,
and those thoughts can start to spiral out of control.
I know at least for myself,
when I start to have those thoughts,
they would continue and they would unfortunately grow.
So, what would start as one setback
would become me second-guessing my entire purpose
purpose what I was doing.
Maybe I shouldn't be a copywriter.
Maybe I don't have what it takes.
Maybe, you know, this isn't what i should do.
What would it have been like if I got a job?
Maybe you know, I shouldn't be doing this.
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
These thoughts can spiral and spiral,
and I don't want that to happen to you.
So, I want to go through what i figured out can help
stop this and keep you on track,
and turn those bad days around.
Now, first of all,
one of the things to think about is your mental state.
Throughout the days and throughout the weeks,
we have ups and downs
in terms of how we feel about ourselves,
like our energy levels, our confidence
or just ability to focus.
During the good times, we're able to deal with hardship.
You know, if you're feeling really jacked up
and excited and motivated and great about yourself,
and then you get a bad email from a client.
It's pretty easy to deal with that and say,
"You know what, screw them, that's their problem,"
or "Hey, I screwed up.
I'm going to fix it, I'm going to deal with it."
But if you're feeling really stressed and overwhelmed,
then kind of beat down, it's the end of the day,
you're out of energy, you're out of willpower,
and you see that e-mail.
It's pretty easy to get destroyed by it.
I had this experience recently,
I was launching this new program of mine,
and working really long hours and right in the cracks,
right when I was feeling kind of the most stress
and the most self-doubt like, "Is this going to work?"
I had this kind of really negative comment that someone
who should have been supportive shared it with me,
and it totally sent me down, like for the next three hours,
I was in a bad mood, and it rattled me.
Same comment the next day wouldn't have affected me,
but in that moment, it did.
So, acknowledging that we have these different states
is important because as you become aware with it,
or aware of it,
then you can adjust your behaviour and react.
So, here's an example.
If you know that you're having a bad day,
whatever happened, your energy's down,
you're feeling down you're second-guessing yourself.
Don't let that continue. Say to yourself,
out loud if you need to, acknowledge it.
"Hey I'm off my game right now I'm not feeling on it.
I'm not going to consider my life purpose today.
This is not the time
to decide what I should be doing with my life."
Instead, take that time
and focus on little things you can get done.
I'm talking about chores, accounting, admin work,
clearing out your emails, getting rid of newsletters.
Not mine, keep my newsletters, they're really awesome,
but everyone else is.
Going through and basically catching up on stuff that
you wouldn't otherwise do,
but you'll feel productive getting done.
So what this does is that, at the end of the day,
rather than feeling bad because you're having a bad day
and then beat yourself up
because you're having a bad day,
You feel bad and then you acknowledge him.
Not feeling that great.
Then, you work on it, you correct it
in terms of taking baby steps.
At the end of the day,
sure, you might not have got your big stuff done,
your big important task for your business,
but you've cleared up all this other stuff
and you've made progress in the right direction.
So the end of the day,
you're going to feel a lot better about yourself,
and you can start the next day fresh
with that positive feeling.
Whereas if you're really off your game,
and then you try to force it,
and you just try to keep going and you can't.
Then, you can just start beating yourself up,
and that can create a cycle where you feel guilty,
you feel shameful that you can't focus
or you can't change your mood,
and then it gets worse and worse.
Now, on the other side of things, we have kind of the,
I call it the Tony Robbins attitude
of "You can do it. You can always change your state,
you can always put yourself in whatever mood you want,"
and yes there is some truth to this, but not all the time.
And i believe that this attitude of anything is possible,
you can have full control of your mind.
I think I'll like the Tony Robbins attitude,
it's inspiring and it's empowering at times,
but it's also disempowering because if you believe that
you can always take control
and that everyone like these gurus are always perfect,
then when you have bad days, they get worse
because you create the shame cycle.
You feel guilty that you have a bad day,
and then it makes you doubt your ability to may be
be an entrepreneur or be successful because you say,
"I'm having these bad days, I can't control myself,
it must mean that i meant to be a failure or I can't do it."
And that's BS.
Everyone has these kind of days.
These guru people have these days.
And if you're a creative people or a creative person,
which none of these gurus are, they're not creators.
You're especially prone to ups and downs,
because we're hard on ourselves.
We judge our work and we
demand perfection from ourselves.
And so, it's natural, you're going to be self-critical,
as natural you're going to have ups and downs.
And accepting that, getting rid of the shame
and just making the most of those days,
for me, has been really powerful with,
basically just overall being more productive
and staying focused.
So where before,
one really bad day might spiral into two or three,
where just nothing would get done.
Now, I can have a bad day which will sort of,
that turn into a chore day.
At the end of the day, I'll have a clean apartment,
I'll have caught up on some tax documents
or accounting, and I won't feel so bad.
Or in the day, maybe hang out with friends,
sort of boost my mood before the next day,
and rather than have lost two or three days
because of a down period,
I end up having one kind of admin day
where I catch up on chores and stuff.
And then the next day, feel great again and start over.
So that's my advice.
If you're feeling like you're off on a certain day,
that it's not right for you,
maybe got a really bad setback from a client
or something bad comes up, accept it.
Accept that, hey this is how you're going to feel for a bit,
make the most of it and start doing something else,
whether it's admin work or some chores,
or going to the gym, going to exercise,
and that will actually turn around your whole day
and you'll be getting stuff done and being productive.
Lots of positive benefits.
That's it, hope you enjoyed this video.
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Have an awesome day, ciao!