Subaru: Hello, sir. I am a boy, a lost boy...
...and I am lost.
Will you, a fellow boy, hold my hand and assist me and not being lost any longer?
Apple Guy: Mystery solved; you're here. Now, are are you gonna buy a pineapple or you gonna buy two pineapples?
I recommend the latter.
Subaru: That looks like an apple.
Apple Guy: What are you talking about? That's a pineapple.
Subaru: But... that's an apple.
Apple Guy: Look are you gonna buy 3 pineapples or not?
Subaru: What happened to "two pineapples"?!
Apple Guy: Yeah, well, it went up because I don't like you! Now, are you gonna buy 5 pineapples or are you gonna scram?!
Subaru: I'm a lost boy again!
Maybe these people will help me.
Hello! My name is Subaru and I am a lost...
*SCREAMING* *MEOW* *SMACK
Subaru: Lost boy!
Looking to be found.
Lizard Waiter: We don't serve your kind here!
Subaru: Humans?
Lizard Waiter: No, lost Boys!
Not after the Peter Pan incident!
Now...GET OUTTA HERE!
*SMACK* *SHRIEK* *SPLASH*
Subaru: I don't think I'll EVER be a found boy!
Chin: Hey, boys, look what we found!
Subaru: *GASP*
Hello, new best friends!
Chin: Hey, kid! You're not from around these parts, are ya?
Subaru: Uh-uh!
Chin: It's almost like ya came from another place, or country... or even a different world!
Subaru: I also didn't bring anything with me!
Chin: So, you're startin' life, from zero, in another world.
Do you know what we do to kids who start from zero in another place, country, or another world?
Subaru: You give them delicious chocolates.
*GRUNTING* THIS ISN'T DELICIOUS CHOCOLATES!
THIS ISN'T DELICIOUS CHOCOLATES AT ALL!!!
???: Stop, you VILLAINS!
For, it is I...!
Chin: "I" who?
???: That's right
I am Happy-Go-Lucky-Girl!!!
Wait, no, that's dumb.
That sounded a lot better in my head, before I said it.
What else could I come up with?
Justice Girl?
Nah, I feel like that's taken!
Maybe, if I put an X at the beginning in the end...?
*SIGH*
Guys, I'm sorry for making you wait, I'm kinda new to this!
Ton: Oh, it's fine, everyone has a first day, go on.
Chin: Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm!
Currently Happy-Go-Lucky-Girl: Alright! It's decided!
My NEW name is Satella!
Oh, right... I forgot to do something... hold on!
Now Satella: Ha HA!!!
Now, *I* have the high ground!!!
HA!!!
*OH* *OUCH* *dies*
Satella: You got lucky this time
I was trying to summon giant flaming Berserker Dragons!
Chin: She killed Spoony!
We have to avenge him! What else you got, you freak?!
Satella: Nothing! That's all I can do!!!
OH! I also have this cat!
Puck: I'm a cat! *WRETCH*
Oh, look they're gone!
Satella: Okay... now I want to ask you a question... and my question is...
*INHALES*
Why are you dead? Stop deadding.
Subaru: Huh, it's so soft!
Puck: I know, right!
I keep good care of my fur..
Subaru: Yeah, you sure do-
Hey... wait-who-are-you?!?!?!
Puck: Hi, little boy! Do you know what a ffFURRY IS?
Subaru: UAAGHAAH!
*incoprehensible screaming*
Puck: Oh, come on, we were gonna have a moment!
Subaru: I had a moment where my heart stopped beating, does that count?!
Puck: YES!
Emilia: Hello, sir...
...I'm a girl, a lost girl...
...and I am lost.
Will you, a fellow girl, hold my hand and assist me and not being lost any longer?
Subaru: *whispered* Yes.
Emilia: Sweetness!
Subaru: Who... designed... your dress?
There's so much cleavage!
Emilia: Oh, it was Puck.
Subaru: *whispered* Thank you, Puck.
Puck: You're welcome, compadre.
Subaru: And now we are a party!
What do we do now, party?
Emilia: I'll tell you what we're gonna do! we're gonna-
Puck: I'm going to reinvent myself through interpretive dance!
Emilia: I'll tell you what we're gonna do! We're gonna wander around town until we get unlosted!
Subaru: I...
...love...
...that dress... but, also, whatever you just said!
Emilia: Alright! Let's zoom-zoom! *ZOOM*
Subaru: She get's me so well.
I'm gonna follow her to the ends of the-
Hello, I have lost my girl, have you, a not girl, seen a lost girl today?
Bartender: I reckon I did not.
I reckon I have not seen a girl for the past eighty six years.
Random Girl: You've seen me.
Bartender: I reckon I've seen one girl in the past eighty six years. *echo*
Subaru: So, what do you do with this bar, Mr. Tender?
Bartender: Please...
Tender was my father's name.
Random Girl: So what's your name, stranger?
My name's Felt. I got this. Bang! What about it? I gotta sell it! Girl's gotta make ends meet!
I'll cut your dick off and sell it, right now...
...I know a lot of weird guys who'd buy it. I've come to guys, guys have come on m- I mean...TO me...
Let's start over...
Felt: What's your name, stranger?
Subaru: I am known by many names...
All of them Subaru.
Rom: My name is Rom.
The bartender.
I tend the bar.
Subaru: What's bar-tending like?
Rom: There are only two things in life;
Bar-tending,
other.
Subaru: You, sir... are a prophet.
Rom The Prophet: Mmm-hmm.
Subaru: ...but do you guys happen to know where I could find one of...errr... these?
Felt: *Inhales*
We're more of takers... not finders...
Subaru: Could you... TAKE her and...
...BRING her to me?
Felt: That sounds like a fucking kidnapping, kid!
Subaru: So is that a "Yes"?
Felt: That's gonna be a strong "No"!
Subaru: I'm hearing a really strong "Maybe"!
Felt: Check your hearing, you freak!
Rom: I know someone who might be able to help.
*gulp* *gulp* *gulp*
*slurp*
Rom: I know her.
The Girl Rom knows: I only came here for milk.
Rom: And you got it! Now, spill it.
Known Girl (who's name is Elsa): I-I don't want to spill it!
Rom: Do you wanna help or not?
Felt: You REALLY don't want to help!
Elsa: What am I helping with?
Subaru: Hello...
Elsa: Hi?
Subaru: I wanted to know if you'd be able to find my missing party member.
Elsa: Why the hell would you think I'd know anything about your missing party memb-
Subaru: Say "cheese".
Elsa: What did you just do?
Subaru: I took a picture of you!
Elsa: I feel violated!
Did you ask?!
Subaru: No, I did not.
Elsa: Well, then I don't need to ask permission to kill all of you!
Subaru: No, I guess you don't...
..what?
Elsa: Oh...
I forgot to mention...
...the milk you gave me...
*STAB*
*whispered*...I wanted skim.
Rom: Rom will take this under consideration..
BLEURGH *Smash*
Felt: Subaru...
...I just want you to know...
...I blame you for this entirely!
Subaru: That is fair.
*Whoosh*
Felt: HAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Elsa: Child, I didn't have business with you.
Elsa: Sigh...
Such a shame, with every cut I make with this blade, the duller it gets.
Oh well.
I guess I can afford one more cut
*Giggles*
Hey there, neighbor!
Subaru: Please, no...I am SO startled!
Shushushushushushushushushush!
It's too late.
It's already done.
Look down!
Subaru: Huh?
Eh?
Oh no!
BLEUGH *Thud*
Ugh..eh-
Elsa: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Don't be scared!
Everything's gonna be OOOOkayyy!
Subaru: No!
Bad blood!
Don't go!
Elsa: ♪ It's... ♪
♪ ...a... ♪
♪ ...beautiful day in this neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor- ♪
♪ Would you be mine? ♪
♪ Could you be mine? ♪
*sinister laughter*
Respawn #1
Apple Guy: Mystery solved; you're here! Now, are you gonna buy a pineapple or are you gonna buy two pineapples?
I recommend the latter.
Subaru: Oh my god, I have superpowers!
I need to find the limit of my new powers!
Super strength!
Laser eyes!
HNNNNGNNHHHHHH!!!!!!
Huuuuuuge...
PENIS!
Okay, I tried!
I wonder what this new life has in store for me, this time!
THIS is happening again?!?!?!
What did I do WRONG?!
FIRE BREATH!
FLIGHT!
UGHH!
SUPER SPEED!
OUGH!
Respawn #2
Apple Guy: Now, are you gonna buy a pineapple or are you gonna buy two pineapples?
I recommend the latter.
Subaru: Oh, GOD, it happened AGAIN!
Apple Guy: You didn't buy a single pineapple! Your statement is bad and you should feel bad!
You know what'll make you feel better?
Three pineapples!
Subaru: You're absolutely right, sir! Three pineapples WOULD make me feel better!
Apple Guy: Good!
Subaru: ...but I don't have any money...
Apple Guy: Baaaaad!
Respawn #3
Apple Guy: Now, are you gonna buy a pineapple or are you gonna buy two pineapples?
I recommend the latter.
Subaru: I'm done with this gag, sir
I'm going to leave.
There's got to be something I can do...
Come on, Subaru... THINK!
Maybe, I just need a stressful situation...
Random Guy: OH, NO!
THAT KID IS ABOUT TO BE RUN OVER!
Subaru: Perfect!
Random Guy: What?
Subaru: Now's my chance!
I just...
Rrrrrgh!!!
...have to...
RrrrrrrrAHHHHHH!!!!
*Farts*
Danger Knight: Danger!
*Crowd cheering*
Subaru: Oh my god!
I can control the wind!
With my BUTT!
Get ready, world!
Here comes...
Bowel Blaster!
I have to tell Satella!
Hey!
You're not Nutella.
Felt: You're right.
I'm not.
Good job.
Subaru: Another mystery, solved by Bowel Blaster!
Felt: Pfffbt!
Excuse me, what?!
Subaru: Bowel Blaster.
It-it's my super hero name.
Are you KIDDING ME?!
BOWEL BLASTER?!?!
*Inhale*
HOLY SHIT!!!
Bowel Blaster: Is...?
Is that not a good name?
Felt: Rom!
ROM!!!
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THIS GUY'S NAME!!!
*Inhale*
ROOOOOOOM!!!!!
Rom: Greetings, Bowel Blaster. Still blasting them bowels?
Bowel Blaster: I feel like it's not a good name.
Therefore, I will not be called Bowel Blaster anymore...
...by anyone...
ever..
Rom: Shame.
Felt: Good luck with that!
I barely know you and you are already my new favorite person!
Subaru: Shut uuuup...
Felt: What's wrong...
BOWEL
Blaster?
Afraid you're never gonna live this down,
BOWEL
Blaster?!
Subaru: I feel like I'm forgetting something...
Elsa: Hey there, Neighbor.
Subaru: Oooooooh no! This is what I was forgetting.
*Shink* (Respawn #4)
Subaru: You're not Nutell-AH!
WHAT HAPPENED?!
Felt: Hey, kid...
What're you doing out here?
Subaru *thinking: Shit, I can't tell her my name's Bowel Blaster! She made fun of me last time!!!
Err...
My name is Bowel Blaster-
Wait! NO!
Are you KIDDING ME?!
BOWEL BLASTER?!?!
*Inhale*
HOLY SHIT!!!
Subaru: I have to die. I have to die to end this pain.
Felt: Rom!
*Shink*
ROM!!!
*Splat* *Splat*
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THIS GUY'S NAME!
*Inhale*
ROOOOOOOOOOM!!!
*Slash* (Respawn #5)
Subaru: Whew!
Now, I'm back to a safe place!
Felt: Are you KIDDING ME?!
BOWEL BLASTER?!?!
*Inhale*
HOLY SHIT!!!
Subaru: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
♪ GO! ♪
♪ (Whoa!) I never give in ♪
♪ (Whoa!) I never give up ♪
♪ (Whoa!) I never give in ♪
♪ I just wanna be, wanna be loved ♪
Subaru: Hello, if you found this end-card
then you found me, Subaru, the now found boy!
If you want to subscribe to TheSchmuckSquad channel
then, do it! I believe in you!
Also...
If you have too much money, then consider donating it to the Found Boy Fund on Patreon, link in the description.
Where you can make boys like me get found at a faster rate!
Goodbye, I love you!