'Welcome number one.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘Who’s that awful man?’ ‘He’s the devil.’
Japanese sci-fi Warning from Space was requested by one of our Patreon Shadows
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‘A monster, let’s get out of here.’
Made in 1956, I think it would be mean-spirited to mock the special effects.
But I think it would be an oversight not to mock the aliens.
‘The earthlings must be stopped’
Godzilla is an influence, as seen on the poster featuring Starro towering over Tokyo,
four years before he would be the first villain to face off against the Justice League.
Like Godzilla, this is a serious story and every time the Pairans, as they are called, waddle on it does undercut that seriousness.
They want a word with us.
‘Number 1 will be responsible for our initial penetration’
But, earthlings being the alarmists we are, newspapers are soon panicking.
The Japan Express and the Tokyo Herald are easy to mix up. Well this is getting silly.
The English dubbing is better that we’re used to but that just seems lazy.
Alien Number 1 tries to make contact with scientist Professor Kamura, but it doesn’t go well.
The next obvious step of course is taking in a show.
Having exhausted the possibilities of knocking on Kamura’s door
and working spotlight at a local theatre, the aliens move onto plan B.
‘We can make immediate contact if one of us assumes the likeness of an earthling.’
'It seems dangerous, but time is desperately short.'
Boldly leaping over steps like radio contact, they go straight for impersonating a popular entertainer and dropping her in a lake.
‘What’s that?’
‘Something floating there.'
'It looks like a body.’
winning the Dark Corners Plan 9 award...
'Yes, plan 9 deals with the resuraction if the dead.'
for ‘Maybe we could have tried something else first’.
But it works.
‘Initial phase of infiltration a complete success’
and no one is any the wiser,
blending right in.
‘In the club house I saw her go through a closed door without opening it’
Number 1 does not have a gift for subterfuge.
Also, this is supposed to be urgent.
So far she’s stopped for a night at the theatre and a game of tennis.
But now she confronts Dr Matsuda...
'What are you doing?'
'Destroying this formula before it is too late.'
and berates his research into explosives.
‘Do you realise the dangers that such energy potential entails?’
Confirming she is not of this earth.
‘Because I just witnessed something uncanny’
Well yeah, she walked through a door.
‘She took just one look at my formula and understood it’
Walking through a door is one thing but a woman who can do science?
‘That settles it, I’m convinced she is not human’
Now, I assumed that tearing up Matsuda’s formula was mission complete,
turns out, that’s not why she’s here.
‘We have been keeping track of a runaway planet from another galaxy, now we are positive it is on a collision course with earth.’
which is a problem for Paira too because of their proximity to us.
‘Paira is unknown to the earth. We are situated exactly opposite you on the far side of the sun’
That sounds plausible to me, but let’s check with Dark Corners Science advisor.
Dad, is it possible for there to have been planet on the far side of the sun, undetectable to 1950s technology?
Of course it would be possible to see a planet that is always behind the Sun,
but astronomers would know it was there because of the gravitational attraction it would have on the orbits of other planets.
Particularly Venus and Mars as they are the ones that would approach it most closely.
You know what? That’s a level of scientific detail I’m happy to let slide.
The Pairans are here to warn us so we can stop the rogue planet.
One question.
‘Our civilisation is more advanced than yours’
Then why don’t you stop it?
‘Science fiction; it’s a lot of nonsense, Pyrons, really?’
This is the pattern for the rest of the movie.
Never before have I watched a film and spent so much time thinking; well hang on a minute.
For example...
‘This is number 6 – I’ve been sent to earth to help.’
Never appears again.
The only way to stop the planet is to Armageddon it with all the world’s nuclear weapons combined, but…
‘The world congress has refused our request for aid.’
the rest of the world isn’t buying any of this, which is easily fixable,
just introduce them to the Pairans, but they seem to be done, so we’re screwed.
‘May I have your attention. As chief of police I will issue an order to evacuate Tokyo’
It was just an idea you don’t all have to be dicks about it.
The only solution is Matsuda’s explosive; the one Number 1 objected to, but…
He’s kidnapped by bad guys who want to sell his formula and who don’t believe in aliens or approaching planets.
'I don't belive in your fairy tales doctor.'
Does seem like you’d notice this.
Now the World congress has had a rethink and the nuclear weapons are launched.
‘They had no effect. Nothing at all happened’
Bad news but at least the local kids are in a shelter,
that isn’t even safe from the wind
and which then floods.
You’d think they’d leave, but no, they sit in the flooded shelter, waiting to see if they drown or incinerate first.
Another thing you’d expect is that the kidnappers might now let Matsuda go save the world
but they still aren’t buying the danger, even as the earth heats up and their hideout is torn apart by earthquakes.
What can save us?
Oh you’ve come back have you?
‘I think we’re going to be able to help you’
Yes! Obviously.
‘Dr Matsuda is wearing one of our rings. There should not be any difficulty finding him.’
And you’re mentioning this now? How long’s he been gone?
‘He’s been missing for over a month’
A month! A month they’ve been sitting in orbit doing nothing.
Now they rescue him.
‘But we have to have the formula’
Err… Last time this was mentioned.
‘But how did you know what this formula was as soon as you saw it?’
‘Because Pairans made this discovery years ago.’
Film history is full of aliens who are technologically superior yet completely useless
but this feels like a new standard.
'His theoretical knowldge and our technical skills enambled us to make a bomb.'
'We done it, congratulations.'
There’s a radio in his ring!
At no point in the last month did you think to call and ask how things were going?
'Three, two, one, zero!'
'We've done it. Hurray.'
Anyway the planet is blown up and Earth is saved.
Although the shockwaves of the explosion do impact in some areas.
The children’s shelter for example.
Anyone left alive?
The most interesting part of this is the alien impersonating the dancer which only lasts 15 minutes.
But this a solid idea, probably looked pretty original in 1956,
but damn it, it doesn’t add up
– which I know is a really boring problem for a film to have, but there it is.
'Wel; what does one say when they told in not so many words that the would is coming to an end.'
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'Hang on, I didn't agree to that.'
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What other technically superior aliens manage to be anything but?
Let us know in the comments below.
'Get out of this house at once.'